Indeed, where has Nicole been? What's she been doing? Why hasn't she updated anything?

In truth, I've been sitting on this story for a while. It happened starting September 14th, the ultimate culmination occuring 8am on the 15th. I wrote all this the 16th. I think it took me a while to post it because a part of me was waiting for this whole thing to be over (as in, the insurance guy fixes everything, I get whatever $$ they can give me, and walla, done), and another part just not ready to sing it to the world. I can't say why.

But anyway, here it is, without any further ado, why I've been absent, and what happened to me in Corn and Cars.

As I speak I'm looking at jobs online. The publication place never called back. In fact, I've called them twice. They say they're still looking. For what, I don't know. More people to interview I guess. So naturally I've had it with being patient (I mean, it's been three weeks) and I really want some kind of income, if anything just to make me feel better and productive, so I'm out looking. The thing is, I don't want to deal with people, or at least deal with them as little as possible. But you all already knew that. Yes, inevitable, says the world, like so many bad guys to the good guy. Smith and Neo come to mind, actually. Hmm. Anyway, I could go back to Dick's, easy as pie. But I really do want to do something different, even if it is just retail in another store. Gordman's comes to mind there. Or maybe Kohl's. Hmm. In reality the prospects are just really...they suck monkey butt is what they do.

I have a theory that there are places that don't want people with a college degree. Why? Duh, because then they think they can get away with paying you less. With a degree it's like you're stamped to get a decent amount of money, whereas say you only have a high school diploma, well, suddenly you're not so awesome now are you? And it's Champaign. The people here have this attitude like they rock out so hard core when in fact, uh, they don't. I might have mentioned all this before. I don't remember. My memory is going from all this nonsense I have to do. Online, offline, application here, application there, etc. etc. I threw up my hands today and just called an employment placement agency. The chick was obviously taking a look see in her computer (could hear the clicking of keyboardness) and started talking about picking corn. At first I thought, "Oh geez, honestly..." but then considered, "Well, I like being outside, doing my own thing away from masses of people and bitchy customers, and $8.50 an hour for pluckin' corn isn't too bad. I'm game." I am game. Unless Sandra emails me about the horrors of corn picking, in which case I might decide suddenly it doesn't sound so cool. But then again I'm not exactly normal - I'm not a city girl (hell no) but I'm no country girl either. I'm like a weird thing in the middle. I don't even have attributes of either one. Hmm.

¬_¬ Bugger.

Ah well. I have a credit card - did I ever mention that to anyone? Yeah. There's nothing on it though. Haha. I plan to use it for gas only. Speaking of gas, it's magical how the prices have gone down, eh? Lucky me - I get a car and boo-yah! Gas is down to $2.51 here, so said the gas stations today. I apologize to those of you in bigger cities in the case that you're getting pounced upon and having your wallet stolen every time you gas up. In Champaign it was $2.53 so weirdly enough it was actually cheaper here. I think we should throw some kind of party if it ever reaches below $2.

So dad is all gone. Off to Pennsylvania where he backpacks to work out and is happily working away in his program, talking about publication with the big boys etc. He calls every day. Poor bloke. He emails like there's no tomorrow either. Guess he's bored down there...or over there. Pennsylvania isn't exactly "down" now is it? Nicole needs to learn her geography all over again. Dur. He keeps telling me not to worry about the job thing, and when I think about it, isn't exactly worry. More like stressing. I feel useless to my family, just some slug sucking off them. Nicole's a little parasite. Gross. Jobs, jobs, jobs, yadda, yadda, yadda. Let's move on to something else for all your sakes. Why can't I ever write anything fun like Stacey? She writes about Mac vs. PC commercials and all I've been doing is bitching. Puke.

I've gotten into contact with a guy named Tim who lives in Champaign and whom I basically know nothing about aside from the fact that he was referred to me by a guy named Jason who was referred to me by a woman named Alison who's the head honcho (at least of the poetry program) at Carbondale. *whew* Anyway, Jason said I should get in touch with him since he's applying for grad schools as well and we should exchange work. Makes sense to me, especially if I'm going to have to create literary short stories (the utter opposite of what I so enjoy doing). Might as well have someone out there to give them some kind of critique. (Hey, I smell like soap. Mmm...). Might meet up with him sometime after all this job nonsense and have a cup of coffee (or a frap...or a big cookie - I've been a cookie whore as of late) and talk writing and grad stuff. He's curious about my rise and downfall in the world of graduate school. Haha. At least it's interested someone. Maybe I could write a short story on that.

On the list of other good things includes the approach of my 300th review at Epinions. I only have 7 reviews to go. Hooray beer! I mean, hooray! Or maybe hooray margaritas since we still have some margarita mix left and now mom bought some margarita glasses. That's right Stacey - mom bought margarita glasses with that gift card. Wahaha. Oh and how I want the shelves I saw there when we went. Pier 1 had the greatest shelves and they were on sale 50% off. Aaaaaggghhh I wanted them so bad. It's not often I go nuts over something. Sandra and Katie were around when I had my sudden button-down shirt fetish. Megan was there when I regretfully did not buy the utterly sweet Old Navy messenger bag that I didn't think I'd use and then found out it would have been AWESOME the very next semester for my Writer's Crawls. Or my limited $100 spree which entailed a brown phase. *pauses* I think that's about it. Anyway, it's been a while since I've wanted anything that badly. But naturally, my buyer's sense came up.

"Do you need those shelves?"
"...No. But they're so pretty..."
"Don't you already have a shelf?"
"...Yeah. But I could put it in the computer room and ditch that old ghetto one."
"But do you really need them? Are you really willing to pay all that for them?"
"...Kinda. I could put it on my credit card."
"And then pay it back with what? You have no income."
"...I could have mom get it for me as a graduation present..."
"Does she honestly have the money for that?"
"Well yeah, I guess you're right. What with dad in school and her stuck at Walgreens...but it's not fair! I haven't gotten anything yet and I'm going to pay back the $2,500 for the car!"
*sigh* "Fine. I know."

Bugger. :(

The other good thing includes the sale of two books on totaling $41.75. And cookies. I made cookies last Friday during the fun-time Stargate goodness and I'm going to make them again tomorrow. Not to mention that I ate German chocolate cake tonight along with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream by Edy's (just a little). *pokes tummy* I am like a crack addict. I'm more relaxed when stuff like that is in the house and I know I have access to it at the drop of a hat. Like at school - easy access didn't always mean total indulgement - er, except for that whole Vermonty Python/fudge cow thing. Yeah, that was a little overzealous. I might have worried Derek. Haha.

So how does Nicole stay sane? Chocolate, sugar, the simple joys of life like watching the clouds, growing things, hummingbirds (that chase the bees away from the feeder - that was funny), and people who make me happy. Two noteworthy mentions - Stacey's blog and Derek's "suckosity." I'd be even happier if I got to hang out with everyone on Saturday, but apparently someone had to go and cancel. No names will be named. 0XD

And I'm very disappointed that Dane Cook's next movie stars him and Jessica Simpson.

Bugger. >.<

I need to redo my nails.
I'm better now.

I had my breakdown early Sunday (and then the next morning after dreaming my dog had died) so all my rage and whatnot has leaked out. So I'm back to normal - I don't hate my car, I finally got into contact with the company I want in on, my glories are doing their damnest to make a comeback, among other things.

Good times.

The car. The dealership called me a few days ago to set up a check up on my car, and I took it in and got a new battery out of it (no charge - sha-zam. Though I did sort of wanna go "HA!" to them, but I was normal so I didn't) and everything else checked out fine. The breaks aren't an issue, though the car is a little shuddery when slowing down. It's not the breaks, it's just the fact that the car is 6 years old. The thing that does bother me the most is how iffy it is in the wind. Seems like the wind pushes it around more easily than it should and that makes me a little wary. Oh! Good lord, and the blind spot is a little larger than I'd first noticed. Or enough at least that on Wednesday I almost lane-changed into someone. Fucking NOT cool. You know, I don't even think the guy noticed. Freaked me out though, so I'm going to be an extra paranoid driver when I have to change lanes or pass someone now. Joy. Still, it's a pair of shoes. What's that mean? I mentioned last time it would be like a pair of shoes I bought - sucky at first, but I'd get used to it. It's as I predicted. I'm slowly getting used to it though it hasn't totally sunk in that this is my car. I'm still distanced from that since I guess it's not what I would have gone with from the start, but as usual, oh well. It's something and it gets me from A to B and we haven't gotten to the resentment point that the vacuum and I have, and I don't think that's going to happen. I told the car I'd be good to it if it was good to me, and so far it's holding up it's end of the bargain, so it's cool. Car situation: A-Ok.

I called the company again, and this time the person I wanted to talk to wasn't in a meeting, but neither were they at their desk. Ugh. But five minutes later I got a call. I might have noticed (says the person) that the ad is still in the paper so they're still checking things out. Um ok. This is Champaign - how many people do you think fit the bill? Hire me already! I'm a hard worker and I want to do this! I wish they just knew that I'd be great for them. So I'm still waiting. But I figure at least by me calling they know that I want to freaking work there. In other areas, I'm pondering joining Mary Kay again now that I can transport myself, or just going to a company and having them hire me out to temp jobs and all that since who knows how long we'll be here and such?

And on that note, dad is off and in Pennsylvania already. He left yesterday for his little apartment, calling after reaching every state. I got him plenty of goodies on his computer to listen to (including a plethora of songs from The Blues Brothers - which I'm listening to as we speak). I was up till 4am the other day doing it. Nyahahaha! But now we won't see him until November. Bums me out but at the same time it's not too bad. Love my dad and all, but there are a few perks to him not being here. Chocolate. Lack of TV/news. Lack of errands to run. Lack of being told I need to do this and that and feeling freaked out and rushed. I did get all bummy when he left because I think mom was getting teary eyed and I knew that he was going to really miss her (heck, we go to Colorado and he starts missing her even though he bitches about her doing this and that when he's here...whatever). I think as time goes by he just wants to be by her as often as possible. Getting older and all that. But what do I know - I'm just guessing. Anyway, it's just us now and the house is getting looked at again on Saturday. I'm making cookies Friday night because I've had a craving for fresh cookie dough and cookies straight out of the oven since a few weeks ago.

Another thing about dad being gone - we can keep the clutter to a minimum. Mom and I went on a cleaning spree yesterday. I did most of the computer room (have yet to do the counter here), fixed up my room since dad took the small bookshelf and so we moved the tall one up there, mowed the front lawn (Ashley did the back - in like, 5 minutes. It's crazy how fast she does it, and it's not a small yard either). So our house is spiffied up, dusted, all that. Needs vacuuming and a few more things - oh, and I need to till up the dirt where the pool was and we need some grass seed to put down... I have a plethora of things I need to do and haven't done just yet. Random stuff keeps getting in the way, but it happens. So much to do, and it's already September. Man, the last weeks of August went by WHOOSH! Speaking of September, who wants to give me all the details about this September 9th Tailgate? I hear Anthony is in charge, but I don't have the boy's email. Either way, I do plan on coming (I'd have to have the excuse of either dying or someone I know dying not to come now, what with transportation and all). Besides, I've been told so. According to Derek's last little post in my bloggy here, "Be there or suck." I fuckin' almost died laughing.

At least I'm back in my normal mood again. That makes me happiest.

*rocks out to Blues Brothers music* "Bend over, let me see you shake a the twist!"

Begone Clutter!