*evil, maniacal laughter*

Yes, this is one of those times when I am not humble at all.
So what do I do when I'm not reading Harry Potter and making outlandish (or maybe not - who knows? I'm not done reading yet) allegations about what will happen or what's happening:

Harry is a Horcrux!
Godric Gryffindor's sword is the Elder Wand!
Dumbledore has the Elder Wand!
Both Voldemort and Harry are going to die! (or not!)
OMG did they just kill so-and-so?!

Or when I'm not lazing around trying to think of something to do that will amuse me even though I have a whole bunch of other things I should be doing like writing $35 worth of articles or job hunting/resume submitting or writing or reading a required book that is actually sitting right next to me as we speak and due back on 8/6?

I search the Internet for useless crap. You should consider that your warning because the rest of this particular blog entry is going to be full of utterly useless crap. Unless you're a dork like me, in which case never mind.

Now, I don't remember how exactly this whole thing started, even if it did just happen a few days ago, but I was looking for something or had a sudden influx of nostalgia or something, but I ended up at the Internet Movie Database looking up the old Nickelodeon show, Are You Afraid of the Dark? Even now, looking through my internet history, I can't figure it out. Anyway, whatever the reason was, from there I went to YouTube seeing of there were any episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? listed on there. Mostly because I'd visited the IMDB forum about the "scariest episodes" and found two that I hadn't seen before and wanted to check them out if all possible. Joy of joys, there are some. I remembered thinking the leader of the Midnight Society, Gary, was kind of cute and got to thinking, "I wonder what he looks like now?" He's, ah, not bad. Heheh. I scrolled through his credits and found something that got me squealing in delight (and yeah, I do tend to squeal like an excited 15 year old sometimes); he'd popped up in Stargate Atlantis. As I made to find out where, I found out I actually remembered him. I found the episode on YouTube (probably by sheer luck it hadn't been deleted or something) and sure enough, there he was. Sweet.

Today, after watching one (and having watched several the nights before just for kicks), AYAOTD episode, a thought popped back in my head that had occurred to me earlier. Ross Hull (Gary), AYAOTD, and Atlantis all had Canadian ties. Which means the actors could have easily circulated around. One guy surfaced in my brain and the more I thought about it, the more I was certain I was right. There's one AYAOTD episode called "The Tale of the Dark Dragon" that I'd always thought was super cute. Not scary, just "Awwww!" cute. To add to that, the main guy in the story, Keith, was also very "Awwww!" cute. What I'd realized was the guy playing Keith might actually be a character in Atlantis as well, and when I compared their faces in my mind, I was certain of it.

Sure enough, thanks again to IMDB, I was right (WA-POW!). Chuck Campbell was the cutie Keith and is also in Atlantis. A lot. 31 episodes so far, in fact. Funny thing is, he doesn't have a name in that show. Hahaha. ("DO I!? DO I?!") He's just "Technician." Nyahah. Funny how he's made it this far. Anyway, yeah, he's pretty damn cute too. And sweet googly-moogly do I love being right. And I love non-important actors (as in, they're not surrounded by Paparazzi and they're not freaking in your face all the time like 99% those freaks in Hollywood). To Chuck's extra credit, I always thought that episode was one of the better acted episodes of that series. It didn't seen quite as hokey. He and Cara Pifko (girl playing Mariah) were really good. Fun times even though I'm sure you don't care. However, I did also come to an interesting realization:

Hot damn, some of these Canadian boys are cute!

Yay Keith! Hahaha!
Sometimes I FUCKING HATE this internet connection.

There is just no excuse for this thing to be acting this way. There really isn't. I mean, all other webpages pop up nicely just like they're supposed to on a cable hookup, but then other pages just don't and no matter what I do, they refuse to come through until either I kill my connection and start it again or I wait a while and then TA DA! it just magically works.


I mean, Deviant Art is a particular sore spot with me when it comes to this goddamn thing. The site may come in fine - aside from some of the pictures. They don't show. Random thumbs on the front page, the larger versions of images (and yet when I choose smaller view they come through perfectly). Refresh doesn't work. "Go" at the top doesn't work. Clicking it back and forth doesn't work. Sometimes the "Download" option works, but if there isn't one then I'm screwed and sometimes it's just a bitch and doesn't work ANYway so wtf.

Now, back in Rantoul it was cool. Why? Because the internet was slow. Being slow, while not awesome, at least means I know what I'm getting. If a page is hardcore Flash, then no shit, it isn't going to load, isn't going to load well, or isn't going to load until 15-60 minutes later. I knew what to expect with a dial-up internet connection, so while everyone around me was yelling and bitching at the computer, I sat there patiently and let it do its thing because I knew it could only go so fast and freaking out wasn't going to get me anywhere.

I know freaking out isn't going to get me anywhere either, but I swear to God it just pisses me off to no end that an internet connection that is supposed to be super-fucking-awesome just has random seizures and/or clusterfuck moments. There's no pattern either! It doesn't only freak out at DA (like I originally thought it was isolated to), but it's freaked out everywhere from YouTube to Hotmail to the goddamn local library webpage. I shouldn't have to be rebooting my connection every few hours just to get to a single fucking page. It just makes me want to throw things and I have nowhere to properly lash out at because we have long since made the punching bag unavailable (and after the move dad sold it, only to learn that OHYEAH, NIKKI LIKES TO HIT IT FROM TIME TO TIME). Cripes. *grr*

Oh, yeah, NOW the DA pictures work. Fucking reject cable connection. *grumbles*

On a lighter note, you people should have seen me yesterday when the parents went out for coffee at Star-steal-your-bucks and then a bit of grocery shopping. Now, I'm pretty certain that if I had my own place, I would be content because I would eat like I wanted and wouldn't have to worry about restrictions. I'd eat healthy enough, but still have junk food on hand to make me happy. I did it at college, so there's no reason I wouldn't do it again. However, stuck here means I have to deal with everyone else and most notably, dad and his carbs-are-evil diet. T_T Now even that wouldn't be so bad if we were able to have a reasonable amount of snacky food in the house (a bag of chips and some cookies - I honestly don't need that much), but since Ashley is dieting too (because she needs it), that means that sort of thing is out. For dad, if it's here, he "has" to eat it. Like, the man has no self control. He's got this Everest mantra: if it's there, I'm going to eat it. No, no, you do not. You do not have to eat it if it's in the house! And then he gets all pissed if we hide food. Um, we hide it so you don't know it's here and hence, you don't eat it. Doy. And then if we get good food and everyone's eating it, Ashley has to have some too because come on, that's just mean if everyone is chowing down on cookies and we say, "Nope, sorry, you can't have any, you're fat." I mean, she's a big girl, but it's not like she's scary obese or anything.

So me? Here's my problem. If it's not in the house and it's not allowed in the house, I start to go all psycho. I want it more because I can't have it, which makes me freak out because I never know when I'll be able to next have a cookie or chocolate bar without everyone around me wigging out. I start to twitch. People who know me already know I'm a chocoholic and if you give me good quality chocolate, I will freaking love you for life (or at least until you do something to majorly piss me off). So now that I'm in an environment where chocolate is prohibited until someone higher up (mom) starts twitching herself and dad allows her to have some or cracks himself and has a bit since just a little isn't going to kill his diet (though these times are few and far between). If I had my own place, I wouldn't be concerned. I'd have a bag of cookies or a bag of Hershey nuggets or something, eat a few after a meal, and that would be my fix. Awesome, clean cup, move down.

Ok, to the actual story; I probably looked like a flippin' coke dealer. You know how in the movies, say, Goodfellas, at the end when they get caught and Ray Liotta's wife is dumping all the coke down the toilet in that "Ohshitohshit" way and trying to make sure she doesn't spill and all that stuff? Ok, that was me. I have a recipe for No Bake Cookies and we had all the ingredients in the house. I'd been looking for an opportunity to make them, and so far, no dice. When they went out, the second I heard the car leave, I jumped up and started grabbing for ingredients, throwing butter into the pot and letting it melt while pouring milk into a measuring cup for solid ingredients and pretty much throwing everything together and muttering at the stuff in the pot, "Come on, come on, boil already!" Mostly because I didn't know if they were just getting coffee or getting coffee and doing a bit of shopping (mom had fussed about it being too late to shop so they left sort of clucking at each other). So I'm stirring stuff around, cranking up the heat and hoping Ashley doesn't come downstairs because then I'll have to share and I'm not too keen on doing that mostly because I don't want to be the instrument of her diet downfall.

I must have set a speed record for making these cookies, which I didn't even put down in cookie format because dropping them onto wax paper to cool would have taken up way too much time, and I can't hide them that way, so BOOM! into the 9x9 inch pan they go since I can cut them into bars later (I've done this before, heh). And now I've made us nearly empty on sugar, oats (not like anyone used them anyway), butter, and peanut butter (except I don't feel too bad about that because dad eats that crap like candy since he's always craving carbs and that's the best he can come up with since it's mostly protein or whatever). I didn't start thinking about Goodfellas until the cleanup. Now that everything is done, I'm throwing shit back into cupboards and making sure they're in the right spots so as not to look conspicuous, and washing out the pot, measuring cups, spoons, knives, and anything else I used and putting it right back where I got it so it doesn't look like (duh) I cooked something. I'd had the fan on above the stove to suck out the heat and scent of chocolate (just cocoa powder), and made sure to wipe up even the few drops of chocolate mixture where I'd stirred a little too vigorously.

Want an adrenaline rush? Cook like a psycho. Of course, after all that (which might have taken as little as 15-20 minutes for all I know) they didn't get back until way later, but at least by then I had the cookies up in my room cooling off where no one will see them except mom or Ashley. Ashley might ask about them or ask to have one, as I'm sure she knows what they are, but until then, I'm not going to mosey over there and offer one. I know, and I feel bad about it because it pretty much makes me a selfish, sugar-grubbing whore, but I'm tired of sharing when I really shouldn't be anyway when it comes to things like that. I told mom I had them because I'd been talking to her about them anyway, but she hasn't come up for any either (and bought Tastykakes today sooo...yeah I dunno).

Anyway, I was just amused by myself. I think if anyone had seen me they would have been like, "Geez, Nicole, chill out!" Eheheheheh....

Fuck yeah no bake cookies!
Yes, this is what happens when I am not just bored, but exceedingly bored. In truth, I'm procrastinating. I could be working on my book, hell, I could even be writing another article for my random freelance job, but no, I'm here doing what I do best. Ramble about basically nothing.

I could talk about Transformers and how that movie was awesome, I think Shia LaBeouf is cute even though he is two years younger than me...wait, really? Hmm... Anyway, I say if a guy has even a crappy car and it turns into a robot, I'm all yours. Haha. Apart from some stupid moments and parts that could easily be cut to make the movie way better, it was pretty fantastic - and I want the soundtrack. The last time I wanted a soundtrack that bad was when Pirates 2 came out. I do have to say that it was a little anti-climatic. I have two ideas for better endings:

Better Ending 1: After the bit o'catalyst (don't want to spoil it just in case), I think Megatron should have gotten super powerful and then basically self destructed in a really cool explosion or meltdown.

Better Ending 2: Along the lines of exploding in a large manner (and forgetting the whole Shredder on Ooze part), since he's going to blow up mid-city, Optimus Prime should grab a leg and chuck him into the sky, allowing for a fantastic Megatron fireworks display. I mean, come on, with all the crazy stuff that goes on you might as well cap it off with a fanfare-like ending.

I could talk about sex and how I agree - the shoes need to come off first otherwise it just looks stupid. I could talk about some porn I found and how that girl was totally playing for the camera which made it lame but at least that guy was totally hot. Amusing for a moment - which sort of reminds me. I still think it's funny that people raising their hands for threesomes is not gasp-worthy and yet when I say I would be cool with posing nude for art and getting paid to do it, everyone freaks out. And by the way, a few years back I totally considered doing so when I saw an ad requesting models for Parkland...or maybe it was the U of I? I don't remember, but I thought about it.

On a totally separate note (and I do mean totally), I was observing my dog one day and started to think. She was just lying there, panting away since it was once again hot in the house, and I started staring at her white canine teeth and it came upon me - I have an animal with very sharp teeth just lying in the middle of my floor. I know, she's not a threat and she's not wild, but it does seem like a weird concept when you think about it. A far descendent of a wild animal (wolf) is sitting in my room...just hanging out with me. It doesn't seem so weird with snakes and tarantulas as most of the time they're in their cage and they're still pretty wild, but with other animals that you can let them run around even though they carry the potential to mangle you if they so chose. You could take Kahn as a good example. He was our last dog, a big black Doberman who decided to challenge dad for the position of alpha male. Obviously that didn't go over well. Of course we don't often think of these things since our dog is the nice dog (not counting dogs that are bred for fighting or treated/neglected to the point of meanness) but it's just a weird concept when you think about it long enough. ...Sort of how if you think of a certain word long enough it just sounds strange. Like...bleachers. Have fun pondering that.

Omg, porn is funny.
Not like I'm going to go in any order, just fyi. Anyway, now that Megan got her letter (which was surprisingly fast, by the way, quite shocked) and as I sit here listening to the Dune soundtrack (original Dune - and yes, total soundtrack junkie remember), I can inform everyone who cares of some happy fun-time stuff.

First off, and most importantly, my sister is going to get married (huzzah!). Yep, she's got the ring on her finger (and a damn nice ring too, I might add) and the plan is to have it all go down in October of 2009. And let me just say, October now officially kicks more ass than any other month. I mean, it kicked major ass before, but now it's even better. Come on, my birthday, my sister's wedding, Halloween, autumn? You just can't go wrong with October. Freaking love that month.

Anyway, we're already babbling about wedding plans, boxes of chocolates, wedding dress styles, bridesmaid dresses, who I'd walk with down the isle, who Ashley would walk with, the kind of DJing Stacey wants (with which I agree and might have to chitchat with the DJ to make sure he doesn't fuck it up - I take the duty of ensuring much of my sister's happiness seriously), decorations, and so on and so forth. It's gonna be a blast. Speaking of bridesmaid dresses, here's a list I've compiled so far so you girls can have fun in seeing what I'm looking at. At Stacey's behest, there is no need for all bridesmaids (3 of us) to wear the same thing. Especially since what looks fabulous on one person could look like total crap on another. Her only strong requests are no strapless, gown hits the floor, and have a two-toned option if possible (you know, like a dress and a little sash or something). All of these I'm easily cool with. I did strapless once and even though I was all Elizabeth Swann-style in it, I was still paranoid that it was going to slip down and I'd be in a condition to receive Mardi Gras beads. I don't like the idea of a short dress anyway - if I'm going to look extra fancy, the dress is going to be long and it's going to be kickass. And solid colors all the way through can be kind of boring - hence the dresses with the beading and fabric texture that follow. Check it out: (NOT in that color)

My favorite dress is the very first one. Second favorite is the 6th one (orange!). I'm not sure what color I'll go with, and since Stacey's going for an autumn style sort of thing, I'm thinking along the lines of deep red, orange, or the creme of the first dress.

I found out about the engagement when I got a text message during residency from Stacey basically calling me a sneaky whore or something like that. Haha. See, before moving Nick had emailed me, telling me to get her out of the house for about an hour so he could do the old-fashioned style of asking dad for her hand ("Especially since your dad owns a shotgun."). So the day before the actual moving day (they came up to pick up a sofa, if you recall the story), I told Stacey to come and walk the dog with me. Lame, I know, but it was all I had. Couldn't go get ice cream because it was too early, and there wasn't much else to do. At first she said no, which sent me into a panic because there was no Plan B. After prodding by both dad and Nick, she went and we took the camera - which reminds me, I need to send her the rest of the dumb pictures we took, and some of those in the field a few blog posts back are from that point in time - and about an hour later we got back. Nick found me a little later to show me the ring. Oooooh...pretty....single diamond, very nice size, white gold band. It's a sweet ring, let me tell you.

Switching major gears, I forgot to mention how awesome the 4th of July was. I was going to do it a day or two later, but kept forgetting or was too lazy to do it, so I might as well do it now. Rantoul, though I give them credit for what they did have, can't quite scratch the surface of State College fireworks. The main difference is that State College fireworks are bigger and there are more of them. We started out at a baseball game, dealing with rain on and off all day, and then moved on to hang out with some of dad's friends at a Cajun shrimp cookout. If you've ever seen on TV where they cook those big batches of shrimp/crawdads and then dump it out all over the table along with a few ears of corn and potatoes, that was it. I don't believe I've ever ODed on shrimp before, but that did it. When the fireworks came, everyone had their radios on, something I thought a bit strange...until the show started.

As a soundtrack junkie extraordinaire, as well as an extreme lover of good timing, I was very, very pleased. See, State College apparently does it's fireworks to music, timing the fireworks themselves to specific beats in the music. I've never had the software or means to make music videos, but if I had, they would kick ass. Instead the best I can do is choose pieces of music to match the video game I'm playing just to get more fun out of it. That's why I love good timing so much - I just think it's awesome. And these guys were damn good. Damn good. What was even more fun for me is that I was sitting there telling everyone around me which piece of music was playing. Gettysburg to start things off, the Batman theme from the first movie, I believe I heard Superman at one point, and they finished off with Back to the Future, which is a great suite but the amount of fireworks for the finale drowned out the music, sadly. It was a lot of music, and that's what I remember at the moment, but it was one of those times where I felt proud to be such a soundtrack geek. Boo-yah.

Can ya feel the magic? =P
After a brief battle with blogger and the ability to post a title, I realize this is the second reference to Alice in Wonderland I will have used in a post. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

Let's see now. I could talk about a post a fellow writer made in their blog about acting different during the residency than the time outside of the residency. I suppose I rambled about that sufficiently enough last time, though I guess I could add that my answer is opposite to what theirs was. Anyone who knows me thinks I'm crazy in a good way. I constantly offer cookies as rewards, I demand a pony of my parents every chance I get simply because it's my phrase of the moment, I like to swear because I am able to grasp that words are words even though I will rein myself in order to spare others the so-called horror of those words (but you know, many of them have become quite versatile), I don't mind making stupid sound effects at random times, and there are many other quirks I have that those at residency never saw.

But then, I keep myself quiet until I'm more comfortable around new people before I go off the deep end. You never know who can handle what, so you have to test the waters first. For example, unlike pretty much all my college buddies, many at the residency seemed adverse to swearing, thus upon learning so, I was done with that part of the program. No swearing for Nicole. So sad. Haven't you noticed? My blog is NC-17. Damn right. Anywho, I keep my weirdness away from the world until it's ready for it. Never mind if you think you're weird - who knows? Perhaps your weirdness and mine won't mesh. Maybe you have different thoughts on what is weird. Either way, I was much more reserved at residency than I am here. You'll have to wait before you see my gold blood...

I could also talk about nice guys and nice girls, but that topic has been done to death, since the Ode to the Nice Guy and the retaliation by the Ode to the Nice Girl, which I considered amending to make it fit more for the real Nice Girls (or maybe I should also upgrade the term into Good Girls as Nice Guys have been revamped by many into Good Guys, a mix of bad and good). In the Ode, the Nice Girl is constantly chasing after the Nice Guy who seeks out the whore, bad girl, bitch, etc. in hopes that he will notice her magnificence and correct the error of his ways. Fuck that. I'm not going to chase you if you're too dumb to figure out that woman you're drooling over would sooner step on you than look at you and you're too blind to realize I kick ass. I'll move on to better, greener pastures. We are no longer Nice Girls, but instead Good Girls or some formulation thereof. Perhaps we should go with the term Ladies as it has been transformed from elegant into a term containing a certain amount of sex appeal. We could take back the word and make it our own. We are elegant, but we've got that zesty sex appeal all you boys crave. Also been referred to as the glint (in the eye).

I don't chase anymore. I did for a bit, but I'm done with that. I'll wait until I find what I want. People call me picky. I used to feel insulted - no I wasn't picky! claimed I. And now I think, hell yes I am. What? Did you all want me to lower my standards? Think I should ease up and settle? Haha, screw you bucko. Nicole does not settle. Never mind that I like to dream about Vega or Kaiton or some other fictional character of mine who suddenly appears on my doorstep or shows up at some other obscure location to sweep me away into a different realm. Besides, I'm aware this isn't going to happen, but there's nothing wrong with dreaming. And never mind that men with English/Scottish/Irish/Australian accents turn me to mush, in which case I'm probably screwed in the guy department (or maybe not so if your mind is in the gutter) because I'm in America, land of the All-American boy. Where many of the men these days seem to be either gay, taken, or in the military. Not that I need a pretty boy or a military boy to make my day. No, no, I know what I want. And I have a thought on the whole "bad boy" scenario. At least, I know my thing when it comes to bad boys. Maybe it's not entirely that they're dangerous and exciting, but there's the underlying soft good boy core we'd like to get at. Like, he's bad, but in his heart, he's good and he cares about me like no other.

What I'd like? Oh, I'll take the bad boy in certain situations and with certain circumstances. I don't in real life because I know bad boys are what they are - change in people is difficult, and with many bad things, a change for the good is even more difficult and sometimes just not possible. I'm not going to date some guy from prison in the hopes that he'll turn around and be fabulous. Hahaha, yeah right. In my world though, I'd love to have the guy who had the potential to kill someone, but at the same time treated me as though I were the most precious thing on this earth. I'd love to have the guy willing to die for me - and don't think I'm so selfish. I want the guy I'm willing to die for as well. Ah death - how romantic. Haha. Anyway, the exisitence of such a man is slim to none. That's why you'll find me pining for those that don't exist, because the dream of them is sweeter than the best chocolate. Just tonight I basically melted all over in seeing a particular favorite actor of mine (no, you probably won't guess it so just stop) playing the part of a complete freak and guess what? He threw in an Irish accent with it. *growl* Tasty. Of course, the character wasn't redeemable, but I was busy enjoying his performance as such, since he's usually the goody-goody of the day.

I could go on about my personality twists and what I've simply begun to call my fetish for men with British and British-related accents, but let's move on, shall we? I know, it's NC-17 but that doesn't mean it has to be sex (or lack thereof) and violence. Let's try to get away from my horrible side.

I wrote a story last night. (Wow, abrupt conversation change, no?) Yes, after watching the new Doctor Who episodes (and of course squealing with delight over David Tennant who is insatiably cute...) I started putzing around on the internet to amuse myself and found something on YouTube. I don't even remember what it was now, but I remember the song that looped on the film. It was from the show - and I wanted it. Utilizing my technological resources, I found several pieces of music (and resolved the next day to get the rest - which I now have). It wasn't until 2:30am that I finally flopped down in bed, leaving the music to play (as it was sweet and all of piano and violins and sad flutes and such). But soundtracks tend to have their way with me sometimes, sneaking ideas into my head. I once read somewhere that 90% of writers get their ideas in the shower. I've never once gotten an idea in the shower - but I do have some great ones whilst in bed. Last night was no exception. A man who repairs string instruments...who particularly loves the violin...who makes the strings out of...something...special. Heh. I couldn't let it go - so I hopped out of bed, put the set of songs on loop, and wrote a very brief story. I think I might type it up and plop it somewhere quiet in the internet and leave a link in the WPF (Writing Popular Fiction, remember?) message board for my fellow writers to read if they like. I'm curious to know whether or not it's useable in any fashion (mostly for a short story piece to send in somewhere). Ah, but even if not, it was wonderful to write. I didn't go to bed until 4:30am.

I had two cups of coffee today and even though it's now 2:06am, I'm still going strong.

Finally reviewed some soundtracks and got them off the computer. Good - because I'm running out of space. Need to ease up on the anime I guess. *innocent whistle*

There is one more piece of crucial information...ok, I guess it isn't crucial to anyone at all, but it's still fantastic that I'd like to dish out, but I think that this blog has gotten long enough and also I don't want to ruin something. I sent out a letter to a friend today (that's right, snail mail) that has this piece of info and I'd hate for her to read about it here before she got the letter *coughMegancough*. So I'll hold off for another day. Besides, it will require a lot of gabbing, link posting, and pondering over various ideas. I wonder if I can review another soundtrack before I go to bed...

Personalities are multi-faceted like diamonds. What do you think happens when you unlock mine?