Shut up. I know I'm a day late.


I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I will entertain you with mini stories from work and potentially ramble (as usual). Enjoy.

Mini Story #1: Jon Voight
This actually occurred Christmas Eve. I worked 7am-3 that day, spending most of it at the cash registers ringing up all sorts of books. By the by, it really is fun seeing what people buy and the way some people act when they feel like they're buying something naughty or whatever. Heh. So it's nearing 3 o'clock and a girl who works there with me named Elizabeth comes up as she goes from getting returned books and back out onto the floor. It's crazy busy, so she doesn't exactly have time to chat (neither do I), so I don't catch much, but it's enough. The exchange went something like this:

"I just talked to Jon Voight."
"What? No you didn't." I totally thought she was just being...I dunno, weird or something, though she's not exactly the kind to be weird in that way, and if anything, of all people to pick, why Jon Voight. This is why I did have an inkling of belief in my head, but still basically in that, "Naaaaahhhh," mode.
She continues, "I did too, he's over there."

But she's got an armful of books and I've got a lady checking out in front of me so she heads off while I'm still thinking "No way" but of course she is Elizabeth, so I'm peering over the book stacks into the milling people in the store to see if I can catch sight of the supposed Jon Voight. Then I see him. Or rather, the back of his head. Really, it could have been any older guy, but he just had that look to him. What he really reminded me of was the coach in Varsity Blues because he had on a blue wind jacket. Then he turned and I caught sight of his profile.

Holy crap. It is Jon Voight. He cruises on over to audiobooks, and while part of me thinks it's cool he's in here, mostly I'm thinking, "Why is he in State College?" Not to say celebrities can't go anywhere but L.A. and New York and other big cities, but what the heck is in State College for them to come to? Has to be family. Once my drawer gets taken care of, I stroll out onto the floor and find Elizabeth.

"So what happened?"
"Well first I saw him and I went up to him and told him I loved him in Catch-22 and he smiled and said 'Well thank you.' Then later he came up to the info desk only then I had an AA book in my hand and he saw it and asked what it was and I told him it was recovery and he winked at me, so now he thinks I'm an alcoholic."

After having a good laugh, I went and clocked out. I figured he was gone because I didn't see him in any of the isles. Even if I had, I wouldn't have done anything. I guess it's kind of like looking at something the way you would in a zoo, but I didn't want to bother the guy while he's just checking out some books. But of course, on my way toward the back, I spotted him in the kids' section. Interesting, and I am rather determined to get a better look at him because out of sheer curiosity I'm wondering what it would be like to be near a big time celebrity since it's never happened and probably won't again (though you never know). I think, hey, I'll go say see ya and Merry Christmas to Flossie since she's kind of like that other-mom type. You know, that older woman who could totally be your mom if you didn't already have an awesome one. I do just that, and as luck would have it, Mr. Voight is standing right in front of the computer terminal where (ha!) Flossie is. So I say my Merry Christmases to her while stealing random glances at him. It was cute actually; he was standing there looking through a picture book and smiling in a "This is a cute book" way. Cool.

The biggest thing I realized is that Jon Voight is a big guy. I mean, he's taller than dad by a few inches definitely and seemed rather broad. You see these people on TV but he looks smaller - and I mean thinner too, though I do remember thinking he was a big dude in Mission Impossible. A random fact I found interesting. After that I left for good, though as I strolled out the door, a guy coming in glanced through the glass and got this "Holy cow" look on his face and breathed a "Whoa." That's because Jonny boy was checking out at the register next to where I'd been not 5 minutes before. I kind of snickered and walked out.

Mini Story #2 (not as good but still "wtf?" interesting) The Weird Guy:
I confided this story to Elizabeth because after it happened it was one of those things you have to tell someone because A.) it's weirding you out a little and mostly B.) it's just really wacked out. This was several weeks ago now, and I had some books to put away until I was down to just one, and it belonged in the psychology section. Occasionally, when you're helping people find things, they give you a slice of their life story for whatever reason. We all do it, what can I say? The need to justify why we're looking for what we're looking for. *shrug* It's not bothersome until people ramble for much longer than they should, or they just tell us things we really didn't need to know in the first place. This falls into the second category.

So I scan for the right spot and this old guy, who had to be at least in his late 70s, is nearby and decides to inform me that the best thing he's ever read was a book some guy wrote about schizophrenia. I put the book away and give him the usual "That's intersting" response ("Oh really? Huh. I might have to look into that." etc.). Then after briefly discussing the wonders of the Id, Ego, and Superego, the conversation takes a turn into something like this:

"I had a girlfriend once who was a bit on the unbalanced side. You ever know anyone like that?"
"Ah, no, I can't say I have."
"Well you probably will in the future. Anyway, she was a little, you know, so I gave her that book about schizophrenia hoping maybe she'd take the hint, you know?"
"Haha, yeah."
"Well, she didn't, so I ended up reading it and it was really interesting. We're not together anymore, because you know."
"Haha, yeah." (standard response for most things people tell me)
Then he stares me straight in the face and says, "She was a great piece of ass though."

All I can really do is just smile politely, though my brain came screeching to a halt with the word "What??" switching on in big neon letters in the comprehension area. I had NO clue how to react to that or what to say, so I just half nod and swing him a thumbs up and immediately relocate to another area, preferably somewhere with people I can relate my tale to.

Mini Story #3 (short, but amusing) The Shirt Guy:
Do any of you remember that red shirt I had? Kind of see-throughish, but not. Little designs woven into it? Sort of scoop neck? Anyway, what do you remember, haha. One day I was wearing it, red beaded tank top underneath because even though it's a shirt I can technically go other-shirtless and even bra-less in, I won't at work, that's for sure. I started getting paranoid back during Japanese classes when I'd bend over to dig something out of my backpack and realized the shirt opened a bit much. This guy was the first to start off my weird stories from work.

I'm at a computer terminal at the info desk and a guy comes up to ask where something is. I'm typing at the computer, slightly leaned forward for some reason I can't exactly remember now, and as I'm pondering the results on the screen, he says (and thank God he wasn't old and creepy), "I like your shirt." I say thanks and as I do so, I have the distinct thought, "You were looking down my shirt." What guy compliments shirts unless it's obviously hot or cute? It's a nice shirt, sure, bold red and pretty, but I don't know if it's truly enough to merit compliments from random guys' mouths. I have no proof, I didn't actually see him, but I still have the distinct impression he was examining more than red fabric.

Those are my three random stories from Barnes and Noble. Book stores aren't boring, and there's more to do there than you'd think. Still, I enjoy myself there. I like the books. That shouldn't surprise any of you. Hehe. You definitely get a better idea of what can be found on the shelves though, that's for sure.

Here's to a Happy New Year!

Currently: WARGH!