It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on this blog. But I figured it made more sense to do it here rather than overboard Facebook with a long column of...well, this. That and if people really wanted to know, they would click. If not, well, whatever.

This is my life.

It starts with me wanting a house, but rewinds back to Pennsylvania as to how I am where I am now. Here’s what happened in a nutshell.

I almost didn’t move out of Pennsylvania. I liked it there. The people were nice. I liked my job and my co-workers. And I enjoyed State College and the greenery and everything that came with it.

Problem – it’s expensive to live there. And even if it wasn’t that bad, I still didn’t have a full time job and there was nothing to be had. So when the time came, I simply packed up and went with my parents to here – Independence, MO. Then I had a new plan. I landed a full time job in a company where I could transfer if I wanted and if a spot was available to slip into. So I intended to save up enough to move west to Colorado and, even if I was scraping by in an apartment eating nothing but ramen noodles and getting my vitamins from fake juice, so be it.

Then my parents filed for bankruptcy. Long story, and it involves a certain asshole credit card company. *coughfuckyouChasecough* The house wasn’t going to be lost or anything, but it made things tough for my parents – so I stayed and upped the rent amount I was already giving them. (yeah, that’s right – I pay my parents rent. I don’t leech off my parents like a parasite, thankyouvermuch).

Still. It bothers me. Nicole. The girl everyone voted most likely to succeed still lives with her parents and works as a retail manager. I know, I’ve had people say it shouldn’t bother me, but I’m still touchy about the subject. I feel like I’ve failed in a lot of ways. More than I’m sure any of you thought or imagined. I just don’t talk about it a lot – or ever. I feel like it makes me sound like I’m whining or begging for sympathy.

Now, don’t misunderstand me – I loved college and I wouldn’t trade in my time there for anything (even if I could have gotten this job without it). Same can be said for my time at Seton Hill for grad school even if it did put me into the hole money-wise. I’m a better writer for it. Likewise I like my job. I like Barnes & Noble even if the pay is…well…retail pay.

But I want to go somewhere different. I’m not used to being in one place for so long. Even when I lived in Illinois – longest I’ve ever lived in one state. I want to run around and be a wild Nicole somewhere. And I want to have a house. I want to have dogs that can play in a backyard. I want my family to be able to visit and not be stuck in a hotel room. Problem – houses cost money.

So I’m trying something. I considered slapping up a GoFundMe page, but hesitated. I felt bad just flat out asking for money. That’s just not something I’m comfortable doing. So after a buddy mentioned a different idea to me, I decided to try that instead. The place is called, and instead of just me going, “Hey, spare change pls?” I’m actually working for it. Will I earn enough to buy a house? Fuck no. I’m not stupid. If I’m lucky, I’ll earn enough to do what I state in the video. If I’m really super lucky, maybe I can move out, get an apartment, and buy a cheap couch at Goodwill. (that’s right, I don’t even own any furniture. Wanna fight about it?)

I was hesitant to do this at first, because the vast majority of the people are on there are putting out comics, music, or YouTube videos. So what do I have to offer? Book chapters. As I write them. Initially I thought, “That’s not much,” but then I thought about it some more.

Why do we writers always seem to rag on our own work so much? Why does it seem like people – ourselves included – devalue what we do when compared to other artists? It’s not easy to just smash out a chapter of a book, just as it’s not easy to create a comic book page. It takes thought and effort. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with offering up a chapter or two every month for those that want to be a patron of my work. It would be like a serialization in a magazine. And it’s not like people have to keep subscribing. They can cancel any time they want. So if they want to offer up just $1 and get one or two chapters out of it (I’m doing other things as well to make it more interesting) and that’s all, cool. I still feel kind of weird about doing this, but I refuse to feel bad about offering up my work for money on a monthly basis. I’d rather give something back than nothing at all.

This is my official site:

If you want to be a patron, awesome. If not, it’s not like I’m going to hate on you or anything. Because A.) I know many of you have already bought my books, and that’s more than enough to make me happy, B.) I know plenty of you are in stuck situations just like myself, and C.) I’ll never know anyway. HUR HUR. But if you do know anyone who might be interested or you just want to throw things into the wind, feel free to share the video or the Patreon page.

Have a lovely night.

Go eat some chocolate. :3
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