Muse Bait

2011-12-13T22:27:00.002-06:00

Reasons I love America:

From It Made My Day by the Cheezburger people:

I work in an ice cream parlor. Unlike my coworkers, I love when tourists come in. A few weeks ago, this British family came in, all ordering small cones. As I handed the first cone to the father, he asked if it was truly a small. It's 4 oz and being on a cone, it looks larger. When I told him yes, he smiled and said "This is what I love about America." Knowing that I made his day, MMD.

Updatezors

2011-01-06T22:30:00.002-06:00

So for all of my two watchers (hah), what's going on in the life o'me? Not a lot. Much of the same. Work. Eat chocolate. Write (though not as often as I'd like). But when it comes to some random things, here's something to read that might entertain you for a bit.

Currently in Love With: Mark Strong. Okay. So I'm not necessarily in love with him, but what can I say? I like Stardust and he's sexy as Septimus. WHAT? You want to have words over this? The man looks good with semi-long hair and the occasional 5 o'clock shadow. And NO SURPRISE, NO SURPRISE, he's English. Anyway, I'll daydream about him for a while before he gets replaced by some other English/Scottish/Irish/Aussie guy.

Song I'm Killing: "Black, Black Heart" by David Usher. Discovered on YouTube while looking for something else, I slipped this bad boy onto my mp3 player and have listened to it enough that now it's starting to die. Kinda makes me feel like some sort of musical vampire. Or succubus. Mmmm, delicious. Oh, and if you go looking for it, find version 2. The original version is too slow and fails to rock out enough. It took me three tries to find the right one.

Book I'm Reading: Speaking of succubi, My Fair Succubi by Jill Myles is currently with bookmark. And I'm pacing myself. I'll be done the day after tomorrow though, I'm sure. It's hard to put down. If you like paranormal romances and want something a tad different, go with a book where angels are dicks, vampires have feathery wings (black of course), and a succubus is the main protagonist. Whoo.

Stupid Shit Customers Say: "Do you sell cameras?"
"Do I get 10% off gift cards with my membership?"
"Do you sell the Kindle?"
"You don't sell the Kindle? Can you get online and buy one for me?"
"Can you help me set up my Kindle?"
"Where is nonfiction?"
"Where are the how-to books?"
"Where are the books on how to make fake IDs?"
"I've had this book for a year. It's still in really good condition. I don't have the receipt. Can I still return it?"

What the Dog Might Say At This Moment: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

The Holidays: Christmas was good. Got a random assortment of goodies. Which reminds me, I still need to go to Old Navy. I went gaga on books. As for New Year's, I was in bed by 11:30. But hey, I rocked out to music until 12 and then listened to all the neighbors set off fireworks BECAUSE YOU CAN DO THAT HERE. Unlike half the states in the nation...

What I Need to Do Tomorrow: Freelance. Celebrate mom's birthday. I'm sure there's something else, but I can't remember what it is at this moment.

Well, I guess that does it for now. It feels good to finally contribute something to this blog. I ought to update my Ramblings one too, but I think I'll do that at another time. Until then, Cheerio!

Free Books

2010-10-16T19:02:00.001-05:00

Like free books? Then you'd better go on over here.

HA.

2010-07-10T22:05:00.002-05:00

Ms. Valentine is my new favorite person.

Here's why.

And if you like the Twilight books or enjoyed the newest movie, well...too bad.

Currently: Why do you like these people, Pike?

Well then.

2010-04-30T10:39:00.006-05:00

I guess it's high time I did some updating. Especially now that I have a new follower which almost knocked me out of my chair. No idea how you found me in the world of the internet babe(...though now that I think about it, I kind of am all over the place...), but HI! =D Good times.

Now then, let's back up and start from where we last left off, shall we?

February: Ice storm. Big one. Stuff was frozen for a while. I didn't mind since I work in my room so it's not like I need to go anywhere. Hah. I found myself getting really tired of winter at that point. I mean, basically once winter started I wanted it to be over, and that doesn't happen very often at all. Especially when we get oodles of snow. I enjoy snow. Heck, I want to live in Colorado (though that's pretty much all for the mountains and forests). But this time I was just done with winter. No idea why. Just...tired of cold and stuff. Maybe it's because I lost a month in August, what with losing Freckles only a few weeks before, taking a long time to get from PA to MO and then dealing with all the unpacking and lack of water and no refrigerator and so forth. Like August just disappeared. But ah well, now it's April, so I get to enjoy warm weather. Rock on global warming.

March: This would be Brutus. No, we didn't name him that. Some jackass bachelor did. I'll bet he thought it was funny to name a miniature dachshund Brutus. Though I do admit it would be fun to get another one just to name him Caesar. HA. But dad wanted a dog and so did I. I love dogs. I missed not having one even though I still have Freckles's tag on my car keys (and there it will stay). Except this house and the yard aren't exactly big dog friendly. Shame since I love bigger dogs. Small dogs are not my bag of chips. But dad apparently has wanted a dachshund since he was young (Lord knows why - is it just me or is there some correlation between large men and small dogs?). I told him whatever - this time it would be his dog the way Freckles was my mom's and my dog (somehow that's the way it ended up). Besides, I'm not going to be here forever and I don't want to get ridiculously attached.

So one day while I was out to lunch with a friend, everyone else went to a dog adoption thingy and voila. There was Brutus. Two days later he shows up at our house. The story behind this guy is that he's three years old, was owned by a guy who later got married and they had a kid. When they decided to have a second kid, the wife said that the dog had to go. Goodness knows, if he acted the same way he did here his first several weeks (and still from time to time), it's no wonder she wanted him gone. Brutus has a list of bad behavior problems that I do not doubt stem from his previous owners total lack of leadership. He gets into the garbage (and has dodged a bullet because he managed to grab a pork rib and hork it down). He poops in the house from time to time (it's like he doesn't know how to tell us he needs to go out). He gets possessive over items he steals or "claims" which can lead to growing and aggressiveness. He jumps on the dining room chairs to get to the table which he will then walk all over in search of food. He digs. When he is interrupted from something he is really focused on, he gets defensive and growls. And the one thing I really want to work with him on but don't know how to go about doing it (at least the best way I'd like to do it), socialization. I don't think his previous owners ever walked him and he has no idea how to be a dog - at least when it comes to other dogs.

But we've been working with him. He's much better on walks now when it comes to both pulling on the leash and going apeshit when other dogs behind fences bark at him. He no longer gets on the table. He doesn't poop in the house as much, but you never know. He's learning commands and follows them ("Drop it" being especially important). We keep an eye on him when it comes to the garbage because he'll still try to sneak in from time to time and get in it - even while writing this blog I've peeked into the kitchen a few times just out of sheer paranoia to make sure he's not alone in there. He's not as possessive over things, but if he snatches something food-like from the ground, he is not keen on giving it up. Odd considering he's not food aggressive. I've been taking cues from Cesar Milan on how to "fix" Brutus's issues and so far it's been working. But what I would love to have is a whole pack of balanced dogs like those that Cesar has in order to get Brutus to understand how to be a dog and that other dogs are okay. Today will be a particular challenge because my sister is bringing her new puppy over. Here's to the future.

April: Back in March I went to visit my sister for a week and wouldn't you know it, the first day I'm there Barnes & Noble calls me up and asks for an interview. After a brief moment of spazzing, I set up an interview for the following week. Having previously worked at B&N in PA, I miss the books and just the job in general. I know, weird right? But I had a good time there. I really enjoyed my co-workers, I had the best freakin' managers in the world, and it was, in a way, easy money. I like books and I enjoyed working in a bookstore. Heck, I'd tried for years to work at the one in Illinois. So after my first interview, I get a second with the store manager who told me that the manager they spoke to in PA essentially said, "YES. Hire her NOW." (Cookies to whoever said that by the way - I have no idea who it could be since there are several people I can easily see saying that). And happy day, my 5 minute (if that) interview with the store manager lead to me being hired then and there. Jackpot.

So now, happily, I'm back to two jobs. Freelance and bookselling. That almost makes it like I have a full time job. And lucky, lucky, I get hired back at my original pay rate and I'm back into the 401k program. Sweet. I officially started in April and have now been there for three weeks. Hours are low, but eventually I'm willing to bet I get more. That's how it worked at my other store anyway. Besides they like me because they don't have to teach me anything. Haha. Well, except the cafe since they cross train which kind of freaks me out since I'd really rather not do anything in the cafe...ever. I'd rather they throw my butt back in recieving because I can do that with my eyes closed. But oh well.

"And now for something completely different."

Miscellaneous: In the future I'll try to remember to post updates I do on my other blog and elsewhere just for those that are curious. I do tend to update my Alt. Ramblings blog more than this one just because life is slow whereas writing is not. I still haven't gained back any hats at Epinions which means less money which sucks. On the other hand, when it comes to writing books, the one I started back in November finished just a month or so later (that's right, an entire book) and now I've been working on fixing it so I can start querying. If no one likes my SF book, maybe they'll like this one. It's not paranormal romance, but damn it if it isn't close.

Interestingly enough, moving close to Kansas City has allowed me to be near one of my original critique partners from Seton Hill (even better because she was one of my favorite critiquers). She has a writing group that I've joined, which gives me even more access to people to look at my work. Sweetness.

I very much enjoyed Alice in Wonderland. Like many others, I think Tarrant and Alice should have gotten together, which is why I support page 113 in the original script.

In a few days we open up our pool again. That is awesomeness waiting to happen.

So that's what's happening in my life. Good times. Plenty of chocolate. Good music. And walking the dog basically forces me to exercise. At least he's good for something. =D

Dear Vancouver

2010-02-13T11:13:00.002-06:00

We all appreciate your ethusiasm and graciousness in hosting the Winter Olympics and look forward to everything that Canada has to offer. It looks like it will be another exciting year full of gold, silver, and bronze medals for first-rate athletes all ready and willing to do their part to show their amazing skills and promote peace and goodwill worldwide.

Having said that, fix your fucking luge run.

...

At the present, their answer to blocking off steel beams is to erect a 12-foot wooden wall.

You guys spend millions of dollars building all this Olympic stuff and you can't spring for some fucking padding?

Seriously.

Things I'm Looking Forward To

2010-02-10T16:32:00.005-06:00

After having some issues (such as my skin freaking out on me and some sub-zero or near sub-zero temperatures), I have a lot of things to look forward to. how about we start with soonest first?

Sunshine.
My first ever pecan pie.
A nightstand instead of a cardboard box like I have now.
A papsan chair. I've wanted one of these for YEARS and after squirreling away money for some time, I'm going to freaking buy one.
A $50 Barnes & Noble gift card (jackpot!)
Working out again.
Whatever I have leftover from the gift cards and such after I use them to get the nightstand and chair.
My skin not freaking out (*fingers crossed*).
Payday.

Yay.

Now if only I could figure out how to fix the layout of my book blog...

Currently: I can bake. Really, I can!

Stuff I Do When I Get Bored

2010-01-28T11:23:00.004-06:00

I remembered the Live Eagle Cam from college and have since tried to find something similar. I've looked for live wolf cams and all sorts of other potential goodies, and have found a few, though none have quite met the true idea of live, streaming video the way the original live eagle cam did (or even the puppy cam when that craze went around). I'm not quite sure why this is. Maybe because high quality webcams are expensive and there's no sense in buying them. Not when you're only going to have one or two people looking at it at any given time.

But I did find two neat sites. One is live eagle video, though it's essentially black and white and therefore not as cool as the original eagle feed. The other is one I stumbled upon by accident and really is some awesome live cam goodness. If you've ever been to Yellowstone, you know how cool it is. If you haven't, well, now you can live vicariously through the webcam. Crystal clear and streaming live 24/7, you can see Old Faithful and other geysers as they erupt in real time. I'm not sure who is in control of the camera, as occasionally it moves to focus on other geysers and zooms in on them (maybe it's automatic?), but it's cool. The guy is on a loop, so it's not like there's a guide nearby chatting through the cam all the time.

Anyway, here are the two live cams. Enjoy.

Live Eagle Cam (and yes, the eagles do visit the nest from time to time - I saw both of them just this morning)

Old Faithful Live Streaming Webcam

Currently: Just kinda happy.

My Blog

2010-01-08T20:12:00.004-06:00

My blog ~ Wordle-ized.

Currently: Seriously rocking out to some music. **

Well...

2009-12-27T13:46:00.005-06:00

Even if I don't post very much on here, I've been pretty active lately on my writing blog. Remember, you can always see when there's a new post just by looking over here ------>

I make sure to update that anytime I post something new, whether or not anyone cares. Hah! So if you're bored, mosey on over to Alternative Ramblings (there's a permanent link at the top of the page) for some fun stuff. In fact, there's some goodies from my most current WIP (work in progress) posted. There's been a kissing/near-kissing blogfestingness going around, and I've joined in. After all, who doesn't love some good smoochin'?

Whoo hoo!

*dances off*

Oh, and by the way; high-five for five inches of snow!

Merry Chrsitmas kiddies! (and you probably got a card)

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-25T08:03:00.010-06:00

MERRY

CHRISTMAS

EVERYONE!

Yeah, well, shut up.

2009-11-21T17:00:00.002-06:00

Ok, so let's face it. I'm totally never going to go over any of the things that happened when I moved here. I'm too lazy, it feels like work, and who the hell reads this blog anyway? Besides, I pretty much summed it all up in that last blog post when I said I would get around to the stories.

*snort*

Life, otherwise, is mellow. My sister got married on October 10th, and perhaps I should have swiped a photo from the website they were on, but again, who cares? Haha. Anyway, that's not a very ethical thing to do (even if it's not hard). Though maybe if the link is still up I could send it to a few people. Maybe Hilary would get inspired by a few things...

No job. Still. No one that isn't shitty is hiring. So I freelance. I freelance my ass off. In fact, I should do my own freelance so I don't have to split the pay 50/50 or whatever the pay is actually split. Either way, I freelance so much crap that I'm at least making what I made while working at B&N - and that's if I assume I made an average $160 a week at B&N, which I feel pretty certain I did not.

I did lose my Top Reviewer hat on Epinions.com, which sucks - A LOT. Of course, I had ample time to get my shit together and write more reviews. Except I'd been freelancing so much, the idea of writing just seems like more work (another reason this blog has been rather dormant). Even fiction writing. I went a few months with nothing to send my critique partners because writing just sucked. That and I was having difficulty getting into a character's brain, and still am, but that's a different story. Anyway, losing the TR hat happened, and I think if I'd known my earnings would go down 95%, I would have worked a hell of a lot harder to keep the hat. I guess it had been so long since I'd not had a hat, I didn't realize how big of a difference it makes. So now I'm back, hence the near-every day Epinion. Screw you $4. I want my $25 back. Luckily, I think everyone knows that so the next time hats go out, maybe they'll see fit to grace me with one again, but it sucks because I don't think that will happen until after the holiday rush, and that's where a lot of the money comes in.

The writing kick has been good as of late, thanks to my older sister who bought me The 10th Kingdom for a graduation present. I forgot how much I loved that miniseries, though it really sucks that the first and last CDs won't play on my computer. I have to watch them on our DVD player, and then I don't do it unless I know dad's not around because A.) he'll make fun of it a little and B.) he asks constant questions and it gets to the point where I want to yell, "WILL YOU JUST WATCH THE MOVIE!? You will find out if you watch the movie!" I don't of course, but my brain screams it. Either way, it inspired me and I went buck wild on the writing, doing 100 or so pages in about 4 days. Not my record (my record is 124 in 2 days - this is all double-spaced by the way). So that's been good again, and the current source of the recent Alternative Ramblings blog posting. And of course, why I went bonkers and have the soundtrack now (see music bit on the side, though Imeem cut it off and I don't know why they do that to me and not to others).

Hmm. What else?

I got a $55 ticket for driving around with expired license plates. Whoops. Actually, my mom got it while driving my car, but since it's my fault the plates are expired, I'm paying for it.

PNC ate my bank, National City, so now I'm changing out banks because I'm not interested in PNC's strange deal of charging $1 when you use your debit card at certain gas stations (no telling which ones either).

I think that's really it. Nothing major going on. Halloween was a bust, a shocking, shocking bust. A grand total of maybe 10 kids. Astonishing since we practically live next to a school and a school bus drives by to pick up and dump off kids right on our street.

Thanksgiving is coming up kids, so get your turkeys and your pumpkin pies - it's time to chow down and be thankful we've got turkeys and pumpkin pies to chow down on!

Currently: Singing and Dreaming

Import~Export

2009-10-07T16:49:00.005-05:00

I couldn't quite bring myself to delete aaaaalllll my old blog posts that were previously housed in the Life O'Me blog (which is now the Bookseller Recommends blog). So instead I imported them all to this blog, though once I come back from St. Louis there's a good chance I'll go through them and delete this or that.

Or at the very least make it a bit more user friendly. Feel free to preuse old posts, but please, keep in mind:

October 2

2009-10-02T17:49:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday to Me.

*headdesk*

Not the best birthday ever, but I've most certainly had worse. I did get some new shoes (though I had to buy them, and I only did that because I HAD to - my other ones were falling apart and giving me blisters) and some chocolates (those I didn't have to pay for). Now we're eating tacos. A random day, to be sure.

I finally got a big project out of my hair, but promptly took on another, albeit smaller, one. At the very least I managed to finally critique some stuff like I should have done two months ago.

I do have stories for anyone actually reading this blog (re: Megan XD). I really do. But I just don't have the time to sit down and write them now. Sort of strange considering I'm not working At least, not the way most of us think of as working - the freelance thing is all I've got right now, but it takes up time. But when I'm not sitting at my computer with Word open (something I'm beginning to loathe), I have oodles of other little things that always seem to pile up. A lot of it is due to my sister's upcoming wedding. We're making the little wedding favors by hand, which easily eats a few hours. And I almost can't believe it, but I'm still buying stuff in relation to my place in the wedding (spending money I basically don't have. Aren't credit cards great?). Running errands. My car badly needs an oil change. I have to call my bank still. And on and on it goes.

Even better, it seems like everything I own has suddenly decided to die or break down on me. My shoes finally got worn to the point that running in them a week ago gave me a lovely dime-sized blister on the heel my little footsie. They're 5-6 years old. My printer choked yesterday and refuses to print (it's probably as old as my shoes...if not older), though the annoying part about that is the printer itself appears rather fine. The problem appears to be in the computer somewhere - the document gets sent to the little print window and then blips right off again. Maybe the print cable is broken. I dunno. And then my laptop bought the farm while I was visiting my sister. That's actually not so bad because I never used it anyway, it was a two-time hand-me-down, and I'm selling it on ebay in the hopes of making at least a little money out of it.

But aside from all that, yes. Stories. I have a lot of them and plan on writing them once my sister's wedding has gone down and the happy couple is off on their honeymoon and I've likely run out of things to do here. Here's a bit of what they're going to entail:

My move to Missouri which took about 7 days, 2 of which were done in 92º heat with no A/C.
The new house - that had no water and no dishes, pots, pans, or anything else for 4 days.
The teaspoon mouse.
The God-awful low-carb diet is back, only this time with a reason.
Everything that's gone wrong with my bridesmaid dress (which continues into the present).
Basement turned swamp.
Anything else I remember.

That's it for now folks. Enjoy the rest of your day and eat some cake for me since I can't have any, an ironic fact considering a few weeks ago I said I'd have cake even if I had to make it for myself. Geezo.

Hard at work!

2009-08-31T21:59:00.000-05:00

I will post an update at some point. Seriously. I promise. :P

Dedicated to Freckles

2009-07-31T17:34:00.004-05:00

I lost my baby today.

This is Freckles, my dog of 15 years. Isn't she adorable?

Old age finally caught up with her. I won't go into details, though there are so many. But today we had to take her in and let her go.

I'm at a weird place of calm and misery. The calm is for her, really. I watched her go. Drift into that hazy loss of drug-induced sleep until her little heart finally stopped. I didn't sob hysterically like I thought I might, but petted her until dad finally sort of ushered me from the room. She was gone, and staying there wouldn't change anything.

She was a good dog.

The misery, I know, is more for myself. I miss her. Her dog bowls are still downstairs. Her doggie bed is still there. Unless mom and dad have cleared them away already. I can't write this and not be miserable and using a lot of tissues. She wasn't completely my dog, more the family dog, but as time went by, she was mostly my mom's and my dog. My older sister is far off in Missouri, and in a way, she's lucky because she hasn't seen Freckles in so long, she's distanced to it. Oh well.

Freckles, honey, baby, I love you. We'll meet again, in time.

Righto

2009-07-26T21:34:00.000-05:00

For those visiting for the first time (as there may be a few of you - you know who you are), welcome to my little bloggy. This used to be just a hub called The Profile with links to everything I was connected to on the web (or just about). Now it's taken over the job that my Life O'Me blog used to have. Here is where you'll hear about the goings on in my life. Not often a big deal, but sometimes I have weird stories to relate.

As you can see, there are links all over, so here's a quick rundown of where they'll take you:

Alternative Ramblings ~ My writing blog. All my writing news will be posted there, from what I'm writing now to thoughts on genres to my current agent search.
A Bookseller Recommends ~ Previously the Life O'Me blog. Provided I get to continue my job at B&N in Kansas City (...and even if I don't), this is due to become my reading blog focusing mostly on recommending good books for just about anyone. This blog officially rolls out the welcome mat August 1st.
LinkedIn ~ I'm on this social networking site as opposed to MySpace or Facebook. It's more professional and can actually work for your career, though I haven't utilized it for such things yet.
Epinions ~ The site where I review anything and everything. Books, music, camping/hiking equipment, movies, office supplies, and more. I used to be an Advisor as well as a Top Reviewer in several categories, but my production has really slowed down in recent years, thus the loss of all my hats (as they're called) except for one (which will probably be gone soon as well).

Links on the side are mostly for fun. The first group [Fun and Functional] are links I highly value. The links farther down [Bored? Amuse Yourself] are just for kicks, as are the T-shirt links. You can click those and peruse on your own time. Just be careful of what you might be getting into...

And yes, that is a 30-second clip of music to the right. Just make sure your speakers are low because you never know what I might have stored away in there. You'll be able to see what artist/song I have ready to play, but if you don't know what it is, it's best to be careful as I enjoy a good bit of loud music now and then.

So welcome, enjoy, and feel free to leave comments (you don't have to be a member of Blogger to do so).

:)

New and Improved!

2009-07-11T11:20:00.001-05:00

Welcome one and all to the new and improved page by moi, Nicole T.

This blogspot will house the goings on in the Life O'Me as the previous blog with that name will either go defunct or towards another purpose. Whatever the case, this is the location for happenings in my life, only this time with less of an R rating (for the kids). Who knows? This may be the starting point for visitors (for when I get published - I always say "when") until I actually purchase a .com with my name involved. After all, why spend the money when I don't even have a book out? That and I'm not even sure how to put together a webpage. Oh, sure, I have some rudimentary knowledge, but overall, I'm rather clueless.

On the homefront, there is big news (semi-big news on the writing front as well, but we'll get to that in the Ramblings blog).

First, I'll start out with: I graduated.

Yay!

Yes, I graduated on June 28th and now have an M.A. in Writing Popular Fiction. I know, some of you are thinking, "Yeah, ok, so what's that get you?" Better skills in writing, that's what. I'd like to teach creative writing - I think it would be great fun - but that isn't my main goal. I'm frustrating my entire family with this sort of thing, working at Barnes & Noble instead of getting a better paying job and whatnot, but truth is, no one will hire a creative writing teaching until that person has published something. Frankly, I'd love to mosey on back to Seton Hill after getting published and teach in that program. I would love that. Heck, Maria V. Snyder did it! Yes indeed, she graduated from the program in 2007 and now she teaches there. Just for the WPF program, not as a professor the rest of the year.

And if I want, I could even go back and get an M.F.A. since they *just* recently got the okay to change the program to allow people to get that instead of the M.A. Sounds nice, but I just don't have the money. I'd be in school forever and owe the goverment and banks millions (ok, so not millions, but enough) and that doesn't exactly appeal to me. For me, it's time to get something IN PRINT.

That's the first piece of big news. The second?

I am moving.

Yes. Again. I am moving again. I basically follow my family everywhere because honestly, what is out here for me? Ok, that sounds bad and kind of lame, now that I think about it, but I'll explain in a second. The move this time is due to my father's (always my father) new job at Kansas City University teaching Special Education. He's not officially a Dr. with a Ph.D yet, but he's pretty close.

Actually, I debated for a long time about posting this information and, if you want to know the truth, debated for a long time on whether or not to follow my family to Missouri (we'll be living in Blue Springs, so anyone in the area, feel free to drop by and swim in the pool - yes, our house has a pool). I could actually go for one more year here in PA, but I simply don't make enough money to have my own place and the job opportunities are pretty slim. I think maybe if I worked full time at B&N - especially since I'm due for another raise in, oh, 4 weeks or so - then I'd be good to go, but they just don't have any full time slots for me. Maybe if I begged them...I do like working there even if other people (i.e. dad) think it's a lowish sort of job for someone of my smarts.

The other thing though, is that everything going down (and soon) will be going down within MO and the surrounding area. My sister's graduation. Megan's wedding (though I'm still kind of freaking on how I'm going to afford that since I owe bundles in loans and now that I'm no longer in school, the payments have started right up...I guess a credit card may be in order). And of course, my sister's wedding. I mean, just think of all the back and forth that would mean if I stayed here. Ugh.

So I'm just going to go with. I'll see what happens there and besides, I'll be a hell of a lot closer to Colorado than I am now. Just think - from next door to Kansas City to Colorado is about 8 hours. Do you know how AWESOME that is? And besides, for the girl who wants to ultimately live in Colorado the rest of her life anyway, that makes moving there much, much easier in the end.

So we'll see.

That's all for now. We move the first week of August so we'll be packing up quite soon. Hope you guys enjoy the new blog layout (though I'm still not sure about the title...), the side goodies, and are all having a good time, wherever you might be.

Toodles!

Books Galore

2009-07-11T10:43:00.009-05:00

Just Finished:

Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich - Crazy killers, Ranger, a lot of cars getting destroyed, and BBQ. Tasty.

Currently Reading:

L ibyrinth by Pearl North - A Young Adult novel by my very own Seton Hill Mentor

This Is Your Brain on Music by Daniel Levitin - The science behind why we like the music we do and just how integrated it is with our mental wiring.

On Deck:

Fire Study by Maria V. Snyder - The continuation of Yelena's story in the Study Series.

Bloggy's Movin!

2009-07-11T09:50:00.000-05:00

Right. This blog is shutting down. Yep. I have three blogs right now and one really isn't serving much of a purpose (The Profile). So instead, I plan on moving the general "Life O'Me" concept to the Profile (and the name will change). And since there's a chance that more visitors will come there in the future, it's going to mellow out a bit (i.e. less profanity...heh). Not sure what I'm going to do with this blog yet - maybe I'll turn it into Nicole's Rant Blog or something so if I really need to freak out I can do it here.

Anyway, I do have some fun news to share on two fronts, so if you stopped here first, go visit Alternative Ramblings and The Profile to find out what's going down in the life o'me.

Changes Have Been Made (Obviously)

2009-06-09T19:14:00.002-05:00

My last Blogger template was annoying me. I'm not sure how it appeared on everyone else's computer screen, but I know how it showed up on mine, and I wasn't pleased. Moreover, I was bored with it.

While I should be working on something else and quite a bit more important, I'm a skilled slacker so it's okay.

[The trouble now is that some things just don't want to show up like they're supposed to, so expect this place to be a little jacked up for a while until I comb through the codes in order to figure out what the hell the deal is.] Scratch that - I've now fixed all the little hiccups and found out where some of my missing graphics went. I've even added in a few random goodies just for kicks even though I have absolutely no clue how many people actually visit this page.

**I'm still working on getting a proper FULL song in the side column and without the player looking stupid. Not sure it's gonna happen, but I'm going to try places until it works.

Either way, I hope you like the new layout. Scroll around. See what's new. I think it's bright and chipper and fun. The funny part is that I hardly ever drink coffee (even though I do enjoy coffee flavor - yum!).

Books Galore

2009-06-08T20:44:00.003-05:00

Just Finished:

Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein - The quintessential military SF book. Read it. Seriously.

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher - Young Adult novel dealing with suicide, shitty high school issues, and more all done in a unique manner.

Poison Study and Magic Study by Maria Snyder (who teaches at my grad school) - Fantasy novels with nonstop action and intrigue, complete with poison and, yes, magic. Both books were awesome, by the way. Don't let the fact that they're in the Romance section fool you.

Currently Reading:

This Is Your Brain On Music by Daniel Levitin - The science behind why we like the music we do and just how integrated it is with our mental wiring.

Got Fight? by Forrest Griffin - Want to learn about MMA (among other things) from one of the craziest dudes in the UFC? Read this and laugh your ass off in the process.

On Deck:

Fire Study by Maria Snyder - The continuation of Yelena's story in the Study Series.

Recently Purchased:

Darkfever, Bloodfever, and Faefever by Karen Marie Moning - Part of the Fever Series dealing with deadly Fae and the fate of the world. Also in the Romance section - but again, don't let that fool you. Read their respective reviews: #1, #2 (I haven't gotten around to reviewing Faefever yet). Dreamfever comes out in August (whoohoo!)

No-Bake Cookies by Camilla Saulsbury - The title pretty much says it all.

Physics of the Impossible by Michio Kaku - Loved this book so much, finally had to buy it. Read the review here.

Quotes

2009-06-01T00:43:00.000-05:00

That I live by, that I'll never forget.

On writing:

Writers aren't exactly people; they're a whole lot of people trying to be one person.

On life:

The only way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.

From Vince:

Nicole, you walk like a pimp.

On war:

They call this war a cloud over the land. But the men made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'

On God:

The Kingdom of God is inside you and all about you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood...and I am there, lift a stone...and you will find me.

Done and Done

2009-05-15T23:11:00.000-05:00

Got my second mentor email today and guess what?

I PASSED.

Hooray, hooray. Moreover, I turned in my genre essay and have been approved to go ahead with my teaching module choice (for those of you wondering, it's Idea Generation and Name Creation).

More hoorays.

But for now I'm tired and will probably go crash since I have to work aaaaallll day tomorrow.

Currently: Blah.

NEWSFLASH

2009-05-14T21:47:00.000-05:00

I just got the email from my first mentor telling me

I PASSED.

Yay.

I want to throw up.

Oink oink.

2009-04-28T08:57:00.000-05:00

Exactly.

Finally someone said it. The major news networks need to figure this out. They're making this swine flu crap sound like something from the movie Outbreak. Geez. It's like that stupid SARS thing all over again. Watch out, Ryan.

Currently: Ugh. SO tired of stupid people...

Letters, Novels, and Probable Nonsense

2009-04-25T10:40:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally got all my stuff together and printed all 422 pages of my thesis (book) yesterday. Twice. Sent each one off to my mentors for the final evaluation. This, kiddies, is the final test. Either I pass or I fail. I'm pretty damn sure I'm gonna pass. If I don't, well, I just might go berserk on somebody. Whee! Feel the magic. Now all I have to do is write a paper and create a 50-minute teaching lesson. Good times.

On another note, check this out. I don't know about you, but it's not cool. What's worse is that some performers actually support this. Goes to show they don't know much about how radio has helped them in the past. Frankly, I think this is crap, so I took action (I'll bet some of you think I'm all talk). So here you go:

Three letters to all the PA reps (complete with friggin' creepy nutcracker stamps) about this performance tax. Of course none of them will read it, I'm sure, and they're going to keep doing all the bullshit that politicians do - and by the way, I thought it was pretty damn awesome when I saw in the news that people actually were sending bags of tea to these idiots and on the 15th had "tea parties." I think what a lot of other people and newscasters missed out on was what the point of those rallies were. It wasn't about taxes per se, but basically the little guy getting fucked over aaaaaaaallllll the time by policitians making deals and ignoring everything we want. That's why I think any of the politicians that wanted to join in - Democrat, Republican, whatever - no matter how into it they truly may have been, should have been kept out. It just skewed everything so that everyone got all Democrat/Republican on each other again and ignored what the whole point of that day was.

All right. Fuck the policitians and everyone in Washington. Next topic before I get irritated.

Football game today. Which means getting out of my driveway is a pain in the ass. No idea why these losers are even playing a football game. And one of the players is busted for smoking marijuana (while on probation for, guess what? Smoking MJ). He's still not going to go to jail.

Pennsylvanians still can't drive and it's gotten to the point that I've begun to wish bad things upon them. Take the girl doing her makeup in front of me the other day. Yes, I could see her applying blush with her nice little brush and putting on mascara - mascara - while cruising down the road (with the occasional swerve of course). I wanted her to crash. I really did. Not bad, of course, I don't want to deal with death and blood, but just enough to fuck up her car. I'd stop, call 911 and tell them, "Yeah, this woman was putting on makeup while driving." And I'd tell all the cops and everyone would be like, "Ah, you dumb bitch." I have no tolerance for these people. Not when they do things like this. Or when they start to turn into the oncoming traffic lane instead of further to the left where their lane actually is and people like me who suddenly find a car coming towards them have a moment of, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

But it's finally warm today at least and if the traffic dies down, I might go get ice cream at DQ. It's supposed to be 85 so I might even downgrade from a t-shirt to a tank top.

Hmm, hungry. Wonder what's for lunch.....or rather, if there is anything for lunch. =P

Currently: Yay!

A Crush Ramble

2009-04-10T23:41:00.000-05:00

I hate to go over this again because it seems like I always am, but it's because it just fascinates me. I don't understand it, which is bizarre since it's....me.

I decided to do a bit of number crunching in relation to the guys I find attractive - from those I've met in flesh and blood to the actors and such I fantasize about for the hell of it. I already knew the ratio would be sad, if not rather pathetic, since for some strange, strange reason I am more attracted to guys who are not American.

To say 30% of the men I find attractive are American is being generous.

Why is this?? I seriously don't understand. I've discussed it before, many times, but I don't get it. It's not the accent either, if that's what you're thinking. While that is a definite turn on, I'll be watching the TV/movie screen and think, "Damn, that guy is hot" only to find out much, (some times a lot) later that he's not American. And they always end up being from the UK area or places the UK has touched on (Australia and on occasion, South Africa - even several Canadians have beaten out Americans in attractiveness). It's just fucking weird, ok? And it's kind of pissing me off because that means I'm sort of screwed in the guy department, which I have been for quite some time. How so? Well, first off, if I find a guy, he'll have to fall into that meager less than 30%. Add to that, of all my 25 years, I've only had serious crushes on all of 3 guys (almost 4, but I don't know if I can count that guy or not due to it not being a crush so much as "This guy is hot and goddamn it, if I get a chance to make out with him, I'm fuckin' takin' it.").

Yes, you read that right. 3 (sort of 4) guys. What. The. Fuck.

People say I'm picky, or used to. They probably still do. Hell, anyone reading this probably thinks I have mental problems. I don't think that's quite it. I say this because I've tried. People would always say, "Oh, so-and-so likes you, why don't you give it a chance?" I would. Mentally, I would. I'd try to see myself with the person, many times, in different situations, but most of the time it just didn't work. There was no zing. No attraction. Friendly affection, sure. Shit, I can do that with anyone, but as for sparking chemistry...*shrug* Which, I might add, sucked because then I always felt bad saying, "No, sorry, I don't want to date you. Sorry."

*huff* It's a conundrum I can't seem to solve. I don't know what it is about these outsiders that always catches my interest. Maybe American guys in my eyes are all generic. That same American boy style, look, ambiance. I don't know. I. Do not. Know.

I guess there really is no point in me trying to analyze my desires. I guess I'm just bound to like what I like. I sure as hell won't ever examine my attachment to chocolate, but I like to think that drooling over a man is different than drooling over a food item. Hell, everyone likes chocolate, unless they're allergic to it or just......fucking weird. It's just that some little switch gets turned on in me when these certain men appear......

I don't know. This isn't a complaint (ok, it sort of is, because this switch basically indicates that I'm fucked and while I'm cool with the aspect that I might never marry, I'd at least like to hook up with someone awesome now and then for Heaven's sake. A girl has needs.), but more of an attempt to understand what the hell the deal is. I'll probably never find out and instead ought to get a plane ticket to Ireland or something and find out what happens. Hah.

Whatever the case, I'm going to look damn good at work tomorrow since I have to be there all day. Who knows, maybe I'll bump into some hot non-American and get a little something out of it.

Boy wouldn't that just be the highlight of my adult life. ......And in a sort of creepy twist, a song titled "You Never Know" has just appeared on Winamp...

Currently: Yep. Still needin' that sugar...

¬_¬'

2009-03-27T18:36:00.000-05:00

*snort*

[link]

Um, okay - why is money being wasted on this type of study? I mean, think about it. How many thousands, possibly millions, were put into this study in order to find out that yes, crustaceans can be stressed and feel pain.

I have a real easy test they could have observed that's been done for years.

When you put a lobster in a pot of boiling water it tries to get out. Why? *Probably* because that shit hurts. The same can be said for just about anything.

Jeez.

Oh a lighter note, or at least a less annoyed, are-you-freaking-kidding-me one, life is good. Tolerable. Ok, it's good. I mean, I have a roof over my head and plenty of food and a job (or two) so that counts as good. Otherwise though, not much going on. Same old, same old.

I have to say though. I miss....well....ugh. Never mind.

Currently: Oh hell. I need some sugar. T_T

Psh

2009-03-23T21:14:00.000-05:00

FUCK South Africa.

I mean, SERIOUSLY people. How much sense does that make?

And by the way, for the record, anyone who doesn't have a problem with the guys in Guantanamo being let out should take them in. Let them sleep over at their house for a few weeks. Do it. I dare you.

Currently: GAWD are these people FOR REAL? Ugh.

Been a while

2009-02-28T20:06:00.000-06:00

So yeah. Been a while since that last spaz post. I mean to post a few days after that but...yeah. Anyway, a few things I've either discovered or forgot to mention:

I do answer to the name of Janice now.

I can still become invisible.

Discovery Cove kinda sucks.

I've realized why it may be harder for me to hook a guy - I look younger than I am. When I was 24, one of my co-workers (a girl a few years younger than me) thought I was 19. Everyone always guesses way lower than my actual age, and while that's all fine and dandy and going to work out well for me when I'm older, it's kinda shitty at the moment because if I see a handsome man of 27 or something, he's not going to look at me twice because he probably thinks I'm 20 or some shit. Great for walking across campus, bad for wanting to find an actual man as opposed to a college schmuck. Damn. It looks like I'll have to dress up and wear makeup more than I actually do (which is 1 out of every 30 days maybe) in order to potentially boost age-appearance. Even then I'm not sure it works. I think it does...for all I know I'm reinforcing the age concept. Damn. I'll have to ask around.

I find it funny that when gas started to go up again, no one started bitching. I'm willing to bet no one bitches until it's as high as it was last time. Idiots. I sure as hell bitch. Not much I can do about it, but I still bitch.

JPMorgan Chase can go suck a donkey. They broke the previous agreement between Washington Mutual and MyPoints, Inc. so now their credit card is going to turn into some shitty card with lame rewards. Once I pay off my current balance, I'm canceling that bitch. I should email MyPoints to see how their new card agreement is going.

I'm going to Florida in July. Who wants to join me?

My sister's wedding is inching closer and I'm going to freak out one of these days and buy one of the items on her list (...are they allowed to look at it after putting stuff on it? Cuz um...I'll probably be the first to buy something out of sheer paranoia). Hey, I decided on this thing WAY long ago and I'm going to be mega mad if someone else beats me to the punch.

I'm actually happier and more normal than I sound on this blog. I made cookies (A LOT of cookies) the other day, I enjoy my job, and we got our first thunderstorm of spring yesterday. Ok, so it's going to get cold and snow later in the week and it's not even March yet, but STILL. It's gonna come in like a lion and it was nice to just lie in bed all snuggled up and listen to it rumble.

I'm thinking of starting a tea campaign, if only to annoy the fuck out of the political heads and remind them that the people are still here. The idea? Simple. Get a bag of tea. Write a brief, to the point letter reminding them that they work for us, not themselves, and mail both items to a politician of your choice. Hey, it's just tea. They can't bust you for that. No joke. I am sriously, seriously considering doing it. I mean, just think - politicians all over getting hundreds of bags of tea every day. Sure, they're probably not going to be handling the mail themselves, but it would sure as hell show them that we're watching what they're doing and a lot of us are NOT happy about it, no matter what your political affiliation is. The point isn't to pick on dems or reps - the point is to remind them that THEY were voted in by US. THEY WORK FOR US. But most of them, on both sides, work only for themselves and it's just not cool any more. Hell, just think if that made the news: "Washington has lately been deluged by tea. In a statement that can only be reflecting the Boston Tea Party that helped spur the Revolution, citizens across the country have been sending bags of tea to politicians with letters reminding them of who they work for."

I should so fucking do it. Start up a website, take some pictures of the tea and the letters. Yeah.

Currently: A little crazy.

OMFG GET DOWN! incoming rant

2009-02-03T21:56:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry, but I can't help it anymore. I have to say something even if NO ONE is going to read this but you guys and I'm sure you all agree with me (or at least most of it).

So South Carolina is seeking to charge Michael Phelps over the whole bong photo thing.

Seriously? I mean...seriously??

Ok, granted, it's illegal (in which case, whichever douchebag leaked the photo scores with an EPIC FAIL), but consider what's going on here for *just* a second. Let's compare.

Two players here at Penn State University were busted for marijuana (and more, if I remember right, but then again football players here at Penn State are ALWAYS fucking up. That's right - if you're a Penn Stater, most of your players are fucking douchebags who start bar fights and do drugs) but guess what? They were suspended for two (maybe four) games and then the big Michigan State game rolled up and guess what? They were back on the field playing. Good ole Joe Paterno and every fat cat at that fucking university put those guys back on the field because football is lucrative, collegiate or not, and they want to win. Because winning is important kids. Winning is EVERYTHING, even at college. Especially when it's a big team. Why, you have to have your drug snorting guys playing on the field. Are they being charged? I *think* so, but hey, here, I'm not sure. The police might be a bunch of pussies too and let them off with a warning for all I know. But the university sure as hell didn't mind much.

Our new President, Barack Obama, has explicitly stated that yes, he's done MJ. And....wait a moment....he's done cocaine too. I guess a little blow now and then is okay if you don't get caught. How come he's not getting in trouble? Why isn't he getting charged? He ADMITTED TO SOMETHING THAT IS ILLEGAL. But I guess that's okay now that he's president. That and he's from Chicago where a good percentage of corrupt politicians slither out of *coughBlagocough*. You pretty much have to be a major fuckup to get arrested when you're a politician from Chicago (which is why Blagojevitch isn't going to get off, I mean, c'mon, the freaking FBI came to your house and arrested your ass dude. You're toast, admit it. And besides, nothing you say makes any sense in relation to what's going on and I don't think anyone really gives a shit anyway. GTFO. Douche.) So yeah. President Obama has smoked marijuana and sniffled up some cocaine (you haven't heard? just search for Barack Obama and drugs and you'll get oodles of news clippings and oh yeah, it's in his book). But hell, as least he admitted it as opposed to Clinton's retarded, "I didn't inhale" speech.

Hey, wait, that works. Phelps! Just tell them you didn't inhale!

It's apparently okay to evade your taxes too. You can skimp and keep all that money, and if you're caught, you won't have to pay anything, and even then if you have to pay something, you won't have to pay any pentalties. That is, as long as your a politician. The rest of us will get screwed over without any Vaseline. In fact, I'm surprised no one has been shot yet by some disgruntled worker who's lost his house and his job. So who are our tax evaders? Timothy Geithner - who, by the way is TREASURY SECRETARY. The guy can't even handle his own goddamn taxes and he's expected to handle our money and be economic advisor to the president? OH wait, it's no big deal. He says he just made some mistakes. It's okay. Senator Tom Daschle has also apparently make a few silly little goofs. He was the nominee for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Way to serve yourself by not paying $128,000. Douchebag. There's at least two more but I don't have time for them.

Then of course there are aaalll the people bitching about this. Self-righteous idiots who think everyone that goes through college doesn't drink or try drugs (of any kind) or that if they have, they're automatically drop-outs or bad people. Take a long, hard look at whatever football team or baseketball team you cheer for. How many of the players have been in drug busts? Beating women? Starting bar fights? Fighting in general? Dog fighting? And look at them - they're all still playing, not in jail, getting away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist and a fine (which they can pay off no problem because it's a drop in the bucket for them). Most of them, anyway (it seems like it's only when the public gets too pissed off at one person do they decide to press serious charges and actually chuck the guy in jail. But hey, when he gets out, he'll be able to play again, and might just start up with old habits. Why not?). But do these same people bitch and whine? Do they even pay attention? Do they have a clue? No, probably not. And if they do, it isn't until multiple offenses by the player do they finally get annoyed. Plaxico Burress of the Giants is a good example (and WTF kind of name is that anyway? Sounds like a goddamn plastic company). I mean, he shot himself in the leg with a gun at a nightclub and then a fellow teammate tried to help hide the gun. What. The. Fuck. And to prove my point, on the New York Daily News website next to the article about that is a vote you can take whether or not he's more trouble than he's worth! One option is "Yes, shooting himself was final straw" which begs the question of how many fucking straws were there before, and then "No, he's simply too talented to drop." He shot himself...with a gun...in public...and you want to keep him because he's fucking talented? Michael Phelps won eight Olympic gold medals and I'm willing to bet the same people who would vote "No" would cry foul just because he's taking a hit from a bong.

Are you people fucking serious?

I can't take it. I simply can't take it anymore. People in this country are just getting too fucking retarded for me. Yes, I said it, I'm politically incorrect, and I don't fucking care. By the way, 16% of however many people took the poll voted "No, keep him." Oh, and by the way, he had the gun "to protect himself." Despite the fact that there were security guards around him. And he was drinking. Yeah. Real smart, Plastic boy. Fucking douchebag. And he gets $35 million a year to catch a football. That's fantastic.

But no, by all means, charge Phelps, he broke the law, naturally, in a photo, since that's evidence enough and everything else I've just mentioned is a-okay. I just thought I'd point out how fucked up this country's priorities have become and how hypocritical people are.

Currently: Unable to take it anymore.

"FUCKIN' BRIAN'S COMING."

2009-01-15T13:47:00.000-06:00

Sandra's right. It has been way too long. Course, I always say, "I don't have anything to talk about" and then go on some huge ramble that lasts forever, proving myself wrong (yet again). So now that I've said that, I can go on into my huge ramble.

Since November, I've spent way too much money on presents for my family during December, so my credit card is slightly retarded (add to that my car repair bill, but hey, at least I get points on my credit card, so that means I get gift cards later on, hence buying something essentially means buying something else at the same time, just at later date). The good thing is that I'm now getting more hours at work (a slight pain in the back, but hey, whatcha gonna do?) so that means a nice chunky paycheck (or at least as chunky as my paychecks can get) each week. Likewise my credit card bill isn't due until Feb. 3 so by then I feel pretty confident I won't have to move any money out of my savings in order to pay it off (that's right, I pay the whole thing off all at once, all the time. I refuse to pay more than I have to when I don't have to). However that also means no money goes into my savings for a while. *sigh*

But hey, that's what I get for spending so much (but what can I say? I like giving gifts and even when nearly broke, I bought books for some kids for charity - I can't help myself). No biggie.

On the subject of presents and money and books, I'm excited because very, very soon now I will purchase a nice bookshelf for all my books that need a home. A combination of gifts will give me that and I'm super excited. I really need another bookshelf (taller + more shelves) because I keep accumulating books and I don't want to have to stop just because I have no room (which has been my main reason, but when I get stuff as gifts, it kind of messes things up a bit). At present, I have a healthy number of books sitting on other books, on the floor, or just in places that could be put to better use. I got ahead of myself today and bought a bookend because I know the new shelf will leave me with plenty of space and a bookend will become necessary. I got it before leaving Greensburg at their B&N since ours doesn't have a super cool gift area complete with nifty bookends and extra stuff. A good example of me ending up with more books than I ever expected would be during my stay in Greensburg, when I brought two books and ended up bringing back eight.

Which brings us to Greensburg. For those of you that have forgotten, I'm in a Master's Program there, so every 6 months-ish or so I drive 2-3 hours (depending upon traffic) west to the not-so-little town of Greensburg outside of Pittsburgh. I stay for a week and do writer workshops and take 3 hour classes, go to book readings, and attend other random events like wine socials (which we'll get to in a minute because it begs discussion). Residency this year was good. The first three I was social-ish, and if you recall my previous blog entries, not quite sure how to handle the whole thing. Mostly because I've been on my own for, well, ever, so suddenly getting thrown in with other people who have magic users and detectives and young adults as protagonists and antagonists and just plain similiar to myself in work habits and thought patterns was weird. After all, this is the only place where, as Sherry said, a person can say, "It's a good day for torture" and everyone knows what you mean. ;)

This year though, I have to say, I was pretty damn social. A social butterfly, in fact (at least as social butterfly as I'm likely to get in my life). I hung out with different groups (you know who you are) and had a good ole time. I got to chitchat with mentors (I really would love to share Mike Arnzen with you all, or even the world, but those of us who know him would likely agree, the world probably isn't entirely ready for Mike Arnzen. I'm sure he knows it. Haha!) and found out that I'm a cool cucumber and apparently have elements of Lovecraft and Howard lurking around in my writing (something that I thought, upon hearing, was extraordinarily flattering, shocking [as in surprise], and pretty much just put me on cloud 9).

While we didn't have any bread fights or major battles - it's harder to have a major battle in a hotel - there was a lot of semi-psychotic chatting ranging from Cthulu worship to dragons eating people to hillbillies creepy enough to make the aforementioned Mike Arnzen exit the conversation. *side snicker* And of course, fuckin' Brian. I've debated whether or not to put up a story regarding fuckin' Brian and an elevator and have decided that as funny as it is (despite its outcome), if you want to know it, you can just email me. The rest of you were there and you know what happened and who kept hitting the button and who wanted to swallow a knife. A better way to understand one small thing is to familiarize yourself with Dane Cook and his skit about fuckin' Brian which reminds me that I need to send that to someone...

Ok. So yeah. That's pretty much it. Now I have to do a handful of things and then I graduate in June (whoohoo!). At present I must unpack and...well gosh I think that's it. I could list the junk I need to do to graduate, but I'm sure that would bore you all (since most of you don't really care and the rest of you, well, you already know anyway). I guess I'll just end this with a few life notes:

Normally I'm very photogenic, but FUCK THAT.

Texas Roadhouse bread still rules the unverise (in conjunction with Outback - is there an Outback in Greensburg? I must look this up...)

Later on I'll post a link to a fellow Seton Hiller's picture account so inquiring minds can see Seton Hill in the winter. And depending upon who posts what, I might have a picture of myself in the blue dress again (which later on led to a slight bit of discomfort. Fuckin' Brian...)

We now know what scares Arnzen (wait, I already mentioned that).

We're going to miss all of you who have just left. Can't wait to see you on the shelves!

There really, truly is always just ONE creepy dude that lurks around you and won't go away.

See the rest of you in June!

Currently: FUCKIN' BRIAN'S COMING! (oh, wait, he's not, it's cool)

Raowr.

2008-11-09T16:42:00.000-06:00

...

It annoys the hell out of me when people assume they know what I am when they see me. A fragile little blond girl who probably doesn't do much and shops and isn't informed.

So, to the universe and anyone who's ever thought that about me - fuck you.

(Yet another reason why this blog is rated NC-17)

I was out today chopping wood and happened to be on my last piece which, of course, was a nasty chunk with some hidden knots in it. We've got an ax but when knots come into play, we bought a wedge and a small sledgehammer to beat the wedge into the wood and force said chunk of wood to scream mercy and crack. So here I am, minding my own business and hammering steadily at the wedge which by the way is almost through, when I hear some guy go "Excuse me!" and look up to see him traipsing through our front yard like he's thinking of coming right into the back with me but he stops right at our little gate.

"Are you trying to chop some wood?"
At first I'm thinking he lives nearby and the hammering is kind of loud and he wants me to tone it down or something so I say, "This is my last piece."
"What are you using?"
Uhm... "Well I've got the wedge here and this small sledgehammer..." Why is he asking this?
"You should get a maul. It's made for chopping wood."

I kind of flatline because I don't know wtf this has to do with anything because right next to me is this massive pile of kindling and decent sized chunks for the fireplace so I kind of nod and go, "Okay." I guess Mr. Dude also failed to see the ax shining in the porch light. And for the record, I know what a maul is. What I should have told him was, "Yeah, I know that. But when we went to Home Depot to get one, they were all out so we just settled on this." Besides, even with the maul, made for wood or no, some of this crap is still really knotted, hence the whole wedge-sledgehammer thing, which is exactly what the wedge was made for.

I'm sure he was just trying to be nice and helpful, but quickly after I felt rather indignant. I get the feeling he saw some little blond girl in her black leather jacket (fake leather and yeah, I was lazy and didn't care what I wore - I've chopped wood in nicer clothes and probably looked really weird doing it but seriously, it's not that dirty a job) hammering away at a big chunk of wood and thought I had no idea what I was doing and was just making it up as I went along or something. It just bugged me. We have an ax, and maybe if you'd come along five minutes earlier you'd have seen me using it and using it well I might add. One good swing and BAM! Two pieces of wood. I picked out some real nice ones today that split with one chop. Easiest wood chopping day I've had yet, actually. Maybe I should have gotten up and shown him the ax and then held out my hands and been like, "I'm not stupid, I've done this before, as you can see by the little calluses beginning to form for this year."

Grr. I just hate it when people think I'm weak. It's one of the few things on this Earth that drives me nuts. You know, I used to want to mow the lawn just to prove to my dad that I could. After a while, I knew I didn't have to prove it by then, but then at that point he figured I was old enough (not strong enough, old enough mind you) to mow the lawn and I didn't want to do it anymore.

*huff*

So that's my rant for the week. A bit unnecessary, but I had to get it out. Just something that bugged me (obviously).

Currently: DUDE!

Well, here we are!

2008-11-05T07:52:00.000-06:00

Ah, there are so many things I'd like to say, most of them so far gone down the road of politically incorrect (like "There, America has elected a black person, now all you racist fucks can shut the hell up."). Suffice to say I hope everyone realizes that Jesus Obama will not heal the country with some magic touch like he promises. Every candidate promises the same thing. We've been promised energy independence since Reagan. And before you start jumping to conclusions about what I believe in when you have no idea, leaving defensive or ugly comments and so forth, let me enlighten you.

Politicians, all of them, are essentially scum. If you don't think that even in the remotest of senses, you're a complete fool. Politics means power and if you don't think that half (or probably more) of Congress and everyone else chosen to an office doesn't think of you or the people of your state when they vote for bills and so on, you're a fool. That's why it's scary when people run after candidates like lemmings toward a cliff. I think readers and writers of science fiction who pay close attention can easily get freaked out. It's like watching the reality of a world, or for now just the nation, get stalked by 1984. I could go into details, but I'll just get all worked up and want to throw things.

Why the hell do you think I write fantasy and SF and even dabble in romance and horror?

Anyway, my early prediction for the future is that gas will go up again. Hope everyone has enjoyed their $2.something gallons. It was nice while it lasted.

On a lighter note, head over to Alternative Ramblings to hear about my latest writing escapades. I promise you it's good stuff. :)

Currently: *sigh* Just tired.

"Should"

2008-10-28T13:22:00.000-05:00

There are other things I should be doing. "Should" being the operative word here. The word I'm not supposed to use according to Neil Fiore. It has to do with procrastination. But I'm not really procrastinating the things I have in my brain because they're not really important and procrastinating them doesn't have any major affect on my life. See below:

Should be writing reviews. That way I can get rid of the Blood+ anime on my computer and free up some much needed disk space.

Should be...aw crap what was it? Not writing, I'm doing that tomorrow. Technically I guess writing could fall into the "should" area but I refuse to let it. No, there was something else...

Ah forget it, I can't remember.

Anyway, I seem to have fallen into some sort of 80s loop lately. It started off with a really bad movie which I'm almost afraid to list out of pure shame (though I'll review it sooner or later so everyone'll find out) - no wait, that's not quite true. Jeff Goldblum started it off. See, he's going to be on Law and Order (one of them anyway) as a cop and that got me all "goody-goody-gumdrops" because I haven't seen Jeff in quite some time and I rather enjoy the man. Then I started thinking about other random things related to Jeffy and then in that weird movie-premonition thing my sister rubbed off on me, one day dad was flipping and landed on Encore - one of the scrambled channels (though it's really not all that bad - I've watched entire movies in light fuzz from time to time when there's nothing else on) - and for shits and giggles sometimes we wait to see if we can figure out what's playing. ...Or rather I think he lingers on it so he can see if I can figure out what's playing (and sadly with my movie knowledge, more often than not, I can). Whatever the case, I soon started cracking up even as he asked, "Is this that one weird movie...Earth Girls Are Easy?" Yes. Yes it was. GOD every time I think of that movie I start laughing my ass off because it is so bad. I mean, retardedly lame. The whole thing is just...awkward. And even though I'm ashamed to say I like it, I'm still enough of an idiot to say if you haven't watched it, you ought to. Just...because. Seriously.

Of course, we didn't watch it in fuzz. Dad's too impatient for that. But I remembered that even though I've never been particularly tickled by Jeff Goldblum, I clearly remembered that he was hot in that movie. Yeah. Shut up. Don't ask me how this happens. Sooo then I had this annoying need to watch the movie scramble-free just so I could see Jeff step out of...I think it was a tanning booth...looking fine. And I did. And it was good. Too bad he's 56 now. Yeah. And he still looks good. I don't mean the "I wanna jump his bones" good, I mean he's still handsome. Surprisingly handsome, actually. ........... Er, anyway, he still looks good. Hey, shut up. I know what you're thinking, reader o'mine, and you can just stop. I know every one of you has someone older that you still think is hot. Bruce Willis still looks really good. Besides, Sandra thinks Jack Nicholson is hot so the rest of you can kiss my butt. >;D

Adding to the 80s drivel is my sudden awakening to A-ha, which, much to my chagrin (well, sort of), a girl younger than me remembered while I stood there like, "Yeah, the song goes like this..." Course, I suck at remembering bands even now. I'll forget who the hell sang what while looking for it in Winamp so I guess I have no reason to feel like an idiot. Besides, I was what, 3? when that band was be-bopping around? I rediscovered them while at the VGCats website and watched the Take On Me - Literal Video Version. ("Is this your house??") Well done singing, I must say. So then I started perusing more A-ha and found "Hunting High and Low" and watched the video and got all girly because it works so well for a new idea I've had which was, ironically enough, inspired by Labyrinth, more 80s goodness.

Buuut my current fixation is Jeff Goldblum. Not so much for hotness...I know, you're all weirding out aren't you? Don't worry, it's not like I'm fantasizing or anything. Though I do still need help. Probably because I need a man. *sigh* Cripes. Let's not get into that, shall we? Otherwise I'll just go on forever, and ever, and ever, and ever............

SO. Jeff. I'd already made up my mind long before any of this went down that I wanted to see that Law and Order show, mostly because I wanted to see how he was as a cop. Note that I used the past tense of "want" in that sentence. While on IMDB, I found him as Detective Michael Raines...but there was no mention of his new Law and Order stint. I did a bit of looking around and apparently last year in March NBC came out with a show called Raines in which Jeff is a detective who happens to solve cases whilst conversing with dead people - except they're not ghosts so much as really vivid figments of his imagination, so it's not like they just show up and say, "Oh by the way, so-and-so killed me." Sadly, the show only lasted 8 episodes before it disappeared. Not surprising. Why? Well, if you use TV.com as any sort of example, you can see people giving the show ratings of 10 out of 10 and nothing below an 8 for each episode on average. Yet it went off while shitty shows remain on. Kind of like The Class. That show was freaking funny, and yet it got canceled while a really UNfunny show like Till Death mananged to drag on for two seasons. Frankly, I think it was poor advertising on NBC's part, which I don't understand. A star like Jeff Goldblum getting his own show on prime time television? Where the hell did you people go? What were you smoking?

And why am I defending this show? Because I've seen two episodes of it already and honestly, if I'd seen it while it was on TV, I'd make a point to watch it every night. Though things seem to fall in place a bit easily (there's something about the plots that seem simple to put together or something, it's hard to put my finger on it), it's interesting. I keep watching not just to find out the whodunit, but also because it's fun to watch Jeff as a cop - sorry, detective - pulling a gun on people and wearing a bullet proof vest. Madeline Stowe is in the show too as a psychiatrist who's got to work with Raines because one of the other cops saw him talking to himself (which he is essnetially doing), though so far his character's been pretty much an ass to her. It's just....fun. The whole show I mean. I don't watch the other cop shows because they're bummy and just...I dunno...meh. Snippets of police procedure that may or may not be correct. Though I do admit I have watched a handful of episodes of the SVU one because it had Ice-T and I liked the other two main characters - one of which I didn't realize had played Casey Jones until my dad pointed it out. Casey - from hockey stick toting vigilante to high-ranking cop. Good form.

IMDB has the full episodes of Raines, though they are missing...well wait, maybe they're not missing anything. TV.com doesn't have any information on the supposed episode 8...and episode 7 claims to be the season finale so who knows? Either way, if you're interested you can judge for yourself.

I think that's all I really have to ramble about. I'm sure this entry's getting pretty long by now. See? I always write more when I'm not expected to. I should just go with the whole spontaneity thing. Oh, before I do go, I should introduce you to my newfound joys of life - Troy and Jerry. No, I'm not dating two guys (as though you thought that anyway). I listened to Bob and Tom while going to work in Illinois and other than that, the radio stations pretty much sucked ass. But here, oh dear sweet Lord I'm saved. 103.1 is my love, with all that is awesome rock, and most of it's new stuff. Not like that crap rock station in Champaign 107.1. Troy and Jerry are both mildly insane, love the UFC (kickass!), and aren't afraid to say shit that in many cases would get you yelled at by someone. Want an example? Ok, you asked for it. Retarded people who have killed someone have lost their usefulness in society. I'll let you guess where that went. You can listen to their past broadcasts through that link. Some days are better than others. Like the one that had me and my mom laughing our asses off - it was like a brief make fun of white trash radio show. They were basically acting out what had happened at a trailer park when someone not even involved with the domestic dispute ended up getting arrested.

Ok, I think that's really it this time. I'll up date my crazy link section now, provided Geocities isn't a bitch. Then maybe I'll watch some more Raines and do some reviews. I don't work tomorrow JACKPOT so I'll get to stay up late (whoohoo!) and do some stuff before I wake up tomorrow and finish my book or at least finish the majority of the massive battle. It's due the 30th but with the way things have been going this semester, it doesn't really matter. Haha.

And if you're ever bored, I highly recommend this.

Ta!

Currently: Cute and a lil sexy.

I lied

2008-10-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

I'm a big fat liar.

Ok, so I'm obviously never going to write about residency. It's long gone by now and I don't think any of you really care anyway, and the rest of you were there so you know how it went down. If anyone really wants to know about the battle (which was really just a massive attack with bread and napkins - mostly napkins) you can email me and ask. I'm not even sure who reads this these days - I know a handful of you do, though who knows? Readership may have dropped off from my long leave of absence.

Nothing major is going on in my life. As usual. I eat, I sleep, I work, I get my car fixed, I eat a lot more chocolate than I ought to, I write, I indulge in music, I read. Speaking of which I need to go to the library still. Maybe I'll do that Thursday.

So yeah. That's my update. Not very inspiring is it? I don't even have anything to ramble about. The birthday has come and gone and involved cake, books, DVDs...and I think that's all I bought so far.

And for those of you paying attention to my progress, the book is almost done. Woot.

Currently: Yeah, I dunno.

Brief

2008-08-19T16:41:00.000-05:00

I really do plan on writing a longer post at some point. Really!

Anywho, in case you didn't notice, I've revamped the links at the side. Half you guys don't do jack to your blogs or sites or whatever and I've added in my Seton Hill peeps in support of them and also to try and pimp them out as much as possible (every little bit of exposure helps) for their current/future writing careers. The list is small now, but I'm sure as people throw their sites at me, it'll grow to a sizeable amount.

Things to look forward to (ok, seriously, I'll write it down in my planner and make myself sit down and do this things somewhere in a gap in time in the future): The Seton Hill residency that includes a paper battle, aliens, and chupacabras, overall goings on in my life, and my brief yet interesting escapade with a large pane of glass. I feel like I'm missing something but maybe that's it. *shrug*

Currently: Eh?? I have how long till my deadline?! (actually no, I'm not worried at all, which is a really, really big change for me)

Really Random

2008-07-29T23:12:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know I need to post something substantial.

Yes, I'll get to it. I just don't know when. No, I don't feel like it now. It's the Lazy Bitch in me.

China sucks ass. Those in power there can go fuck themselves. I'll say it because I'm meaner than the Dalai Lama and I know a ton of us are thinking it. And so in that spirit, I hope every nation beats the crap out of them in the events.

I had more really random stuff but, as usual, if I don't write it down, I forget it. If I remember I'll add it later.

See? Random.

...Really?

2008-06-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry, but I've just gotta get this out.

Ok, so yesterday Tim Russert died. Now it's going to be on the news for at least a week. I'll be flipping, land on a news channel and say, "Yes, Tim Russert is still dead."

Whatever. Now at B&N people are going to be coming in to buy one or both of his books - demand will be ridiculous and we can't order any in because you know what? We never sold enough while he was alive so we didn't carry any in the distribution centers but OH all of a sudden because the man is dead everyone and their grandma is going to want a copy. Tough shit because we won't have it.

But here's what really got my goat about 5 seconds ago. On the MSN homepage I see a picture of Russert and next to that is someone's quote: "A Loss for the Entire Nation."

No. No it's not.

To be fair, it sucks for all those close to him, family, friends, and whatnot, but the entire nation? Give me a fucking break. I didn't give a shit about Tim Russert and you know what? When my father dies, do you think anyone but friends and family are going to give a shit? My father is trying to help children with disabilities and what did Russert do? Interview politicians and deliver news. Did I ever watch him? No. I can't stand it when people generalize like that and when someone is made out to be the best damn human being in the world after they die. Why is it such a big deal when a celebrity dies? Why the fuck do people care?

You know, the only time I was ever actually bummed to hear of someone famous who died was Steve Irwin. That's because Steve did truly productive things with his life, helping animals and teaching people about them. But here, Russert is not a loss for the entire nation. I don't care at all, so that statment is automatically false. I also don't care if I sound really rude right now. Yes, while Russert himself can't be replaced, especially for friends and family which is where his death actually matters, for the rest of the nation, people will forget after a week and guess what? A new journalist will take his spot and the world will still turn. I just don't see why people who didn't know him personally keep saying, "Omg, it's such a tragedy" or "I'm so devastated" or "America will miss him." Shut the hell up. Geez. The Holocaust was a fucking tragedy, okay? 9/11 was devastating. America won't give a rat's ass once they stop playing the story on the news. Tim Russert dying, while it sucks, is no different or special than the death of any other person who does something useful in the world.

I'm not saying I'm cool that he died. I'm not saying I laughed when I heard the news or something equally heartless. I'm just saying that I think it's ridiculous people react this way to one man's death when countless other people in the country who are just as important die every day and not a second thought is given to that.

Ugh, please. Give me a break.

I should paint my nails...

2008-05-12T14:42:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted anything here for a while because....well...nothing's happening. The snow has melted, the rains have come, and the temperature can't seem to decide if it wants to stay cold or if warming up would be a good idea. So far it seems to be content staying in the 50s. *bleh*

Work is work. I'm waiting for the next round of employee discountage so I can go insane because I have around $100 in gift card money *woot!* since I'm smart and killed two birds with one stone. *sneaky smile* Though I don't really have any more space in my room to put books so I don't really know what I think I'm going to do...I'll figure it out.

Gas prices suck. But anyone with a car knows that. Heck, anyone without a car knows that. And politicians are idiots. If you think Obama is going to fix everything, you're an idiot. If you think Hilary is going to fix anything, you're an idiot. If you think McCain is going to fix anything, you're an idiot. Why? Aside from each candidate's issues (i.e. if you tell me Obama didn't know his reverend spouted hate-speech for 20 years, I'm sorry, but you're a fucking moron just like he is. Especially since now he admitted yeah, he may have heard something, which still makes him a moron because that only shows he has severely poor character judgement, but that's just one example), everyone forgets that Congress is ultimately responsible for 90% of the shit that goes down. Sure, the President can veto stuff, but don't you remember your Constitution tests and all that? If 2/3 of Congress gets together, they can effectively say "Fuck your veto" and that's that. By the way, I'm not defending Bush - I think he's done an incredible fuck up on this "war" but for different reasons than most people say and if I mention those reasons here people are going to think I'm a horrible person and I'm not going to get into it. Suffice to say you can't be politically correct or nice in a war. If you go to war, you fucking go to war. None of this nicey nice bullshit.

Ok, anyway, I can't keep on like that or I'll just get pissed and rant forver. In case you still read this blog and haven't heard either from Megan's blog or from the lovely couple in person, Megan and Derek are getting a house. Feel the awesomeness. Haha, I don't even have my own apartment (but it's saving me money so meh) and they're getting a house. I should go nomad and travel the US.

Hmm...what else is there to say without sounding like a total freak? Freak? Yes, there are things I could mention as casual thoughts but I think they'd weird people out so I won't... *snicker* Writing is going well. Lots of revision to be done. Fanfiction has turned into my escape from serious writing, which in many ways is retarded because I used to write seriously as an escape. Not to say that I don't still enjoy what I'm working on. I've had a few moments of "Ohyeah, awesome." But I do miss fantasy. Fantasy is my first love, always will be. This one is also more difficult because I just had to go and bring Earth into the mix. So now I have to be kind of Earth-centered in terms of technology and logic. Sometimes I just want to go "Fuck you Earth" and "Fuck you Scott - I love you, but God.." (Scott's my main character who wasn't supposed to be, the bastard - can you believe I'm still coming to terms with that?).

*checks list o'stuff to do*

Fuck. I still have to read Lies of Locke Lamora and I had it here but didn't have the time and now I'm third in line for the library to read it. It's due the 27th and then someone else gets it. Sonofabitch. Now I have to think up something else.

"REVISE EVERYTHING." Yep, that sounds about right.

I need chocolate...

Pretty self-explanatory

Random Story

2008-04-06T18:26:00.000-05:00

I was out walking with my little sister a few minutes ago, and as we headed down the street for the bike path, I suddenly remembered something funny that happened to me and my dad a while back while we were walking. I don't know if it was November or December when it happened - I just remember it was freaking cold at that point in time. For some reason that day dad decided to put on his backpack. At one point before then he'd asked if people would think it was weird if he went out wearing it. I said I didn't think so because it looked like an obvious training method (or so I thought).

Ok, so we headed out, bundled up, dad with his massive pack, hiking poles, and me bundled with my one hiking stick. We'd reached the Domino's about a block away from the house when I stop him, as a car is turning into the parking lot and he's got music on, and I don't think he's paying close attention. The car, to my bewilderment, stops in front of us and the driver rolls his window down. For the record, he looked like a completely normal guy, probably just picking up some pizza. Dad's just realizing just what's going down and we get this:

Guy: "You guys look pretty cold!"
Dad: "Yeah, it's pretty chilly out here."
Guy glances at me and then dad again: "You guys want a ride somewhere?"
Me: ?
Dad: "No, we're good. Thanks though."
Guy (a little uncertain like he's sad he can't help or something): "Ok then. Take care!"
Dad: "Sure. Thanks."

It was a friendly exchange and the guy rolled up his window and pulled forward, we continued our walk and he eventually went to get his pizza. Dad just kept moseying on like no big deal, but I thought the whole incident was kind of random until suddenly I thought about what we looked like and I laughed and poked Dad.

"Dude, I think that guy thought we were homeless!"

I mean, think about it. We're all wrapped up in coats and fleece, walking sticks, dad with a scruffy goatee, carrying a big backpack. That has all the potential of homeless father and daughter with the father carrying all their worldly possessions as they trek across the city/state/country/whatever. The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced the guy was trying to be a good Samaritan and give us a lift in his warm car to wherever we were headed.

I've been called Jenna and Elizabeth, been told I walk like a pimp, been confused for a guy (Halloween costume), thought to be 14 when I was 16, 21 when I was 24, and perhaps an alien.

And now I've been thought to be homeless.

Awesome.

Currently: Not homeless

Ohyeah

2008-03-18T22:34:00.000-05:00

I realized today as I put up other photos that I never posted the photos I got from residency. I figured I'd put them up because A.) I look cute in both of them, B.) You can better see my cute short hair, and C.) They're the most recent pictures I've got. =P These were taken with my critique partners. I'm not exactly sure why we take pictures of our groups, but oh well.

June Residency (obviously. I think the date from the camera kind of gives that away).

January Residency

I'm letting my hair grow out again. I miss being able to put it into a clip. But I always have done the whole hair-length-altnernating thing. The only difference this time is that I have some layers.

Ok, that's it! =P

If You're Not Wearing Green, I E-Pinch You

2008-03-17T13:55:00.000-05:00

Been a while, hasn't it?

I'm erasing old names from my address book. I know I'll never call many of these people again, and I'm willing to bet that 99% of them have either changed addresses or, even more likely, changed phone numbers. For example, I was told that Ryan is in Florida now, so I'm willing to bet he's changed over to a phone number with a corresponding Florida area code.

It's kind of weird, this erasing of the address book. I need to do the same thing with my email addresses. It's sort of like erasing the past, or some of it anyway. Old information of old friends who might still think of me from time to time as I do then. Or not. Who knows? Some that I might even consider long gone and far away may be reading this blog, but I'll never know.

...Damn. I have a lot of S names in here. Oh, I'm not erasing everyone, of course. Some people get to stay in here because I still contact them or could use their contact info in a pinch, should I suddenly weird out and send them something. It's been known to happen.

I have a lot of things on the table to bring you in the future. Ok, not really, more like just two. Maybe three if it matters. There isn't a whole lot going on in my life to relate. I go to work at B&N, I eat chocolate like the world is going to end tomorrow, I sleep and love it, and I write and read and keep listening to music that probably qualifies me as a dork but I don't care. All I have to offer in the future is the Dumbass Story, which I plan to write very soon because it's on my list of things to do and continuously putting it off is pissing me off, and I'll also relate the tale of dad nearly breaking his ankle while we were on a "mountain." I put that in quotes because I don't consider the undulations of the earth around here to be mountains. I consider them hills. Large hills, but still hills. Though I think that'll come as a blog instead of a story because it's kind of short, though it ended up with a second part. Heh.

I like to think that maybe since today is sunny and bright, winter will finally have whooshed itself out and spring will finally come. It's been hanging on here and the grass is all sad and mashed from the amount of snow (which we may still get but as much as I enjoy snow, even I'm ready for spring now).

Well, things to do today (like laundry and lunch and critiquing) so I'll be off. You'd better be wearing green today or people are going to pinch you. ;)

Update at 4:34 pm: I'm sitting here eating yet more chocolate. That's right - I just bought two more bags of candy and as I worked on a fellow crit partner's story, I realized there has been a severe spike in my normal chocolate consumption. I unwrapped another Hershey Kiss pondering this and suddenly thought several things at once which amounted to a generalization of sexual frustration. The idea gave me pause. Hmm. Could that be it? Am I sucking down candy because I'm not getting any? Fuck. ...Or lack thereof I guess. Oh well, I haven't gained any weight at all even with all this candy, so meh.

P.S. Highlight of the day? I got to play with a ferret today. I never knew Petco sold ferrets. Ah, good times. (yeah, I know, it couldn't be a puppy, right? My sister is right - weird stories kids. Weird stories. Haha.). That was fun.

Get yourself some four leaf clovers!

XD

2008-02-15T18:17:00.000-06:00

My sister rocks the universe.

Nyahahahaha.

(aww shitty, they took down the picture of the firefighters carrying a fan)

Oh, and Epinions rules and Macs suck. (and snowboarders need love too)

*end shameless plugs*

After Returning

2008-01-24T13:18:00.000-06:00

TA DA! I'm back.

Of course, I'm sure many of you were unaware that I ever left. Hehe. Yes. Just as I disappeared for a week in June, I did so again a few weeks ago. January 4th -10th was residency week. Technically residency ended the 9th, but since I realized I was paying for an extra night in the room, I stayed the last night and left at 6am the next day. Hey, my roomies were leaving early to catch their respective flights, and with nothing else to do, I headed out (and took two wrong turns...again. But I'll get to that).

It's hard to describe what it's like going to school a two weeks every year. It's definitely different, but quite lovely. It makes sense, since we're all working on books, and since some people have families in addition to jobs and such, adding on classes would get a bit cumbersome. It all works out.

The 4th I left around 1 o'clock, headed for Greensburg, and not too long into the trip, missed a turn. Construction has fucked up everything around here, but I should have known better anyway because I made it last time. I don't know why I became a total idiot this time. I went back 6 miles, took an off ramp (I figured even if I ended up cruising around a little town, by God I'd be able to find out how to get back to the main road), picked a direction that made sense, and managed to go the right away. After I passed Altoona, I screwed up again. Instead of taking the exit I needed, I failed to check my directions (actually I had, but I'd just looked at the wrong piece of information. I thought I was to go 58 miles on the road I was driving on - not true). So about 23 miles later, I'm thinking to myself "This doesn't look the same" though a part of me writes that off as "Last time you drove to Greensburg it was summer, so it's not going to look exactly the same" while the rest keeps insisting something isnt' right. The second part is right, because I see a sign for Blue Knob State Park and that's something I definitely do not remember. So again I pull off, pull to the side, and examine my map and directions.

Fuck.

So I turn around and head on back to where I screwed up, and get on the right road and don't screw up anymore. Funny part is that after my initial mistake, one of my roomies called and before we hung up, I said "Yeah, I'll be there soon, if I don't screw up again, hahaha." Don't say things like that, otherwise you'll end up doing it.

Residency was good times. Learned some helpful things and hung out with fun people. Got lost in Greensburg a few times trying to get from point A to point B (if any of you ever thought the one way streets in Bloomington or Champaign sucked, then get your ass into Greensburg and you'll shut your mouth within the first five minutes). Honestly, I can navigate my way around ISU or Champaign's one ways without any problems. They're simple, make sense, and are almost always in grid format. Greensburg? No such luck. I'm never living in that town, and I'm glad I didn't get all excited and take an apartment there. *barf* Oh, I'm sure I'd be able to navigate it eventually, but I wouldn't be too keen on trying. You all know I hate driving in town as it is. I prefer just an open road, highways you can zoom ahead on, without much interference. Drive around in Wyoming for a while. Hell yes. Speaking of which, I do miss random country cruises with Sandra. You can't really do that here. Too hilly and not enough country roads. And the country roads you do get on aren't in grid format either, so you might end up in the friggin' backwoods of nowhere before back on a road to town.

Back to residency, yeah good stuff. Haha. What else is there to say? From 9am to 9pm (practically) we take class, eat, class, and go to readings or chat with mentors. Oh, and find out what's wrong with whatever piece of writing you've sumbitted for critiques. Readings are fun because you get a taste of books that may eventually be on the shelves. Sometimes you'll hear a piece and think, "If that doesn't get snapped up by an editor, there is no hope in the world." *coughLisacough* XD We do wine socials and other events too. So for those of you who remember my fancy, frilly cream crsuhed-velvet-looking dress, I wrote that. *woot*

I also played Apples to Apples for the first time (highly recommended if you haven't played it), realized The Hampton is a fantastic hotel (omg, the comforters!), and have decided that I have absolutely no gaydar whatsoever. I think it was Katie and I who found this out during school, but now it's been confirmed (but honestly, I don't think any of us would have noticed it, but then who knows?). Because of this, I have also realized that it's almost true that all the best guys are either gay, taken, or in the military. NOTE THAT I SAID ALMOST. I don't want any backlashes. For me, it seems to be that all the guys I'm attracted to fall under one of these categores: Player in disguise, in the military, gay, taken, or unavailable because they're Scottish/Irish/English/Australian and therefore overseas or actors I'll never even get near. Ah well.

Back on topic. Residency was cool. Greensburg is bigger than I thought (bigger than State College, definitely). On my way home, I first missed my exit ramp (it was freaking dark and I couldn't see where the damn turn was. It was agreed during residency that Pennsylvania has a lack of light in many areas as well as signs in important places, with too many signs in unnecessary places), so turned around at a church we'd turned around in before, and got on. Then when I was on some random country road that connected the roads I needed, I missed the second wonky little turn I needed to make. So with a "FUCK!" I spun my little car around and headed back with a mindset of "If anyone gets behind me and thinks I'm going too slow, they can kiss my ass." But I made it and had no more mess ups and drove home in the early morning light. Going home that early has its perks; I made record friggin' time.

Now I have to continue work on my story while reading various books. Yay! I'm still working at Barnes & Noble. Yay! *dances because of discounts* It's friggin' cold, there's snow on the ground (YAY! For the snow, not the 19 degree weather), and I had chocolate doughnuts this morning. Life is good.

I have a great story that's going to be titled "The Dumbass" and placed in The Library with all the other stories. The title may not seem to give the story justice, but HONESTLY, if you knew...well, you will, so I'll let you judge. It has yet to be written, but I'll give you a few tidbits to serve as a teaser trailer.

"In a house where a father will do anything to protect his family, the sound of breaking glass at 2 in the morning is never something he wants to hear. A standoff will begin. A shotgun will be fired. And the intruder at the door will not leave."

O_o

P.S. So the answer to your question about egging my house, buddy, is if you do, you may very well get your face blown off by a shotgun. (I found the irony of our conversation and what I found out when I got home to be insane).

TRY IT!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-27T00:23:00.000-06:00

Shut up. I know I'm a day late.

=P

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I will entertain you with mini stories from work and potentially ramble (as usual). Enjoy.

Mini Story #1: Jon Voight
This actually occurred Christmas Eve. I worked 7am-3 that day, spending most of it at the cash registers ringing up all sorts of books. By the by, it really is fun seeing what people buy and the way some people act when they feel like they're buying something naughty or whatever. Heh. So it's nearing 3 o'clock and a girl who works there with me named Elizabeth comes up as she goes from getting returned books and back out onto the floor. It's crazy busy, so she doesn't exactly have time to chat (neither do I), so I don't catch much, but it's enough. The exchange went something like this:

"I just talked to Jon Voight."
"What? No you didn't." I totally thought she was just being...I dunno, weird or something, though she's not exactly the kind to be weird in that way, and if anything, of all people to pick, why Jon Voight. This is why I did have an inkling of belief in my head, but still basically in that, "Naaaaahhhh," mode.
She continues, "I did too, he's over there."

But she's got an armful of books and I've got a lady checking out in front of me so she heads off while I'm still thinking "No way" but of course she is Elizabeth, so I'm peering over the book stacks into the milling people in the store to see if I can catch sight of the supposed Jon Voight. Then I see him. Or rather, the back of his head. Really, it could have been any older guy, but he just had that look to him. What he really reminded me of was the coach in Varsity Blues because he had on a blue wind jacket. Then he turned and I caught sight of his profile.

Holy crap. It is Jon Voight. He cruises on over to audiobooks, and while part of me thinks it's cool he's in here, mostly I'm thinking, "Why is he in State College?" Not to say celebrities can't go anywhere but L.A. and New York and other big cities, but what the heck is in State College for them to come to? Has to be family. Once my drawer gets taken care of, I stroll out onto the floor and find Elizabeth.

"So what happened?"
"Well first I saw him and I went up to him and told him I loved him in Catch-22 and he smiled and said 'Well thank you.' Then later he came up to the info desk only then I had an AA book in my hand and he saw it and asked what it was and I told him it was recovery and he winked at me, so now he thinks I'm an alcoholic."

After having a good laugh, I went and clocked out. I figured he was gone because I didn't see him in any of the isles. Even if I had, I wouldn't have done anything. I guess it's kind of like looking at something the way you would in a zoo, but I didn't want to bother the guy while he's just checking out some books. But of course, on my way toward the back, I spotted him in the kids' section. Interesting, and I am rather determined to get a better look at him because out of sheer curiosity I'm wondering what it would be like to be near a big time celebrity since it's never happened and probably won't again (though you never know). I think, hey, I'll go say see ya and Merry Christmas to Flossie since she's kind of like that other-mom type. You know, that older woman who could totally be your mom if you didn't already have an awesome one. I do just that, and as luck would have it, Mr. Voight is standing right in front of the computer terminal where (ha!) Flossie is. So I say my Merry Christmases to her while stealing random glances at him. It was cute actually; he was standing there looking through a picture book and smiling in a "This is a cute book" way. Cool.

The biggest thing I realized is that Jon Voight is a big guy. I mean, he's taller than dad by a few inches definitely and seemed rather broad. You see these people on TV but he looks smaller - and I mean thinner too, though I do remember thinking he was a big dude in Mission Impossible. A random fact I found interesting. After that I left for good, though as I strolled out the door, a guy coming in glanced through the glass and got this "Holy cow" look on his face and breathed a "Whoa." That's because Jonny boy was checking out at the register next to where I'd been not 5 minutes before. I kind of snickered and walked out.

Mini Story #2 (not as good but still "wtf?" interesting) The Weird Guy:
I confided this story to Elizabeth because after it happened it was one of those things you have to tell someone because A.) it's weirding you out a little and mostly B.) it's just really wacked out. This was several weeks ago now, and I had some books to put away until I was down to just one, and it belonged in the psychology section. Occasionally, when you're helping people find things, they give you a slice of their life story for whatever reason. We all do it, what can I say? The need to justify why we're looking for what we're looking for. *shrug* It's not bothersome until people ramble for much longer than they should, or they just tell us things we really didn't need to know in the first place. This falls into the second category.

So I scan for the right spot and this old guy, who had to be at least in his late 70s, is nearby and decides to inform me that the best thing he's ever read was a book some guy wrote about schizophrenia. I put the book away and give him the usual "That's intersting" response ("Oh really? Huh. I might have to look into that." etc.). Then after briefly discussing the wonders of the Id, Ego, and Superego, the conversation takes a turn into something like this:

"I had a girlfriend once who was a bit on the unbalanced side. You ever know anyone like that?"
"Ah, no, I can't say I have."
"Well you probably will in the future. Anyway, she was a little, you know, so I gave her that book about schizophrenia hoping maybe she'd take the hint, you know?"
"Haha, yeah."
"Well, she didn't, so I ended up reading it and it was really interesting. We're not together anymore, because you know."
"Haha, yeah." (standard response for most things people tell me)
Then he stares me straight in the face and says, "She was a great piece of ass though."
".........."

All I can really do is just smile politely, though my brain came screeching to a halt with the word "What??" switching on in big neon letters in the comprehension area. I had NO clue how to react to that or what to say, so I just half nod and swing him a thumbs up and immediately relocate to another area, preferably somewhere with people I can relate my tale to.

Mini Story #3 (short, but amusing) The Shirt Guy:
Do any of you remember that red shirt I had? Kind of see-throughish, but not. Little designs woven into it? Sort of scoop neck? Anyway, what do you remember, haha. One day I was wearing it, red beaded tank top underneath because even though it's a shirt I can technically go other-shirtless and even bra-less in, I won't at work, that's for sure. I started getting paranoid back during Japanese classes when I'd bend over to dig something out of my backpack and realized the shirt opened a bit much. This guy was the first to start off my weird stories from work.

I'm at a computer terminal at the info desk and a guy comes up to ask where something is. I'm typing at the computer, slightly leaned forward for some reason I can't exactly remember now, and as I'm pondering the results on the screen, he says (and thank God he wasn't old and creepy), "I like your shirt." I say thanks and as I do so, I have the distinct thought, "You were looking down my shirt." What guy compliments shirts unless it's obviously hot or cute? It's a nice shirt, sure, bold red and pretty, but I don't know if it's truly enough to merit compliments from random guys' mouths. I have no proof, I didn't actually see him, but I still have the distinct impression he was examining more than red fabric.

Those are my three random stories from Barnes and Noble. Book stores aren't boring, and there's more to do there than you'd think. Still, I enjoy myself there. I like the books. That shouldn't surprise any of you. Hehe. You definitely get a better idea of what can be found on the shelves though, that's for sure.

Here's to a Happy New Year!

Currently: WARGH!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-23T01:23:00.000-06:00

Of course, I didn't eat Thanksgiving dinner today - my sis and her man didn't arrive until late today so we're all going to chow tomorrow while all the shopping psychos do their whole 4, 5, 6am thing. Thank God I don't work at Kohl's anymore.

A funny thing. When you haven't used many of the numbers in your cell phone for, ah, quite a while, you can easily figure out who you know that still has that phone number very easily, just by sending out a mass text message. Today it's easy because you can send out the oh-so-innocuous message of "Happy Thanksgiving!" Not that I sent out the message just to see who still existed and who didn't. I was typing away happily thinking that everyone likely had the same phone number (*phone jingles* hey, there's Sandra!), except for a few that I wasn't sure of. Like Ryan. I was told by Anthony (I believe...) that he moved to Florida. I doubt he kept the same area code, haha. Unlike myself. I get 309, move back to Rantoul, then move out to PA where it's 814, but I still use the 309. I don't think I can change it, but these days with cell phones being the prime communication tool of choice, I don't think it matters much.

Anywho, the list was of about 9 people, which got me some amusing responses. Some are still with me - Megan, Derek, Sandra, and Anthony. Kudos guys. Though I guess it really just means you kept your numbers, haha. But hurrah just the same. =D Brett didn't know who I was...and after the whole stint with Christine, who actually turned out not to be Christine (further pushing the point that Natalie probably didn't have the same number because I honestly don't even remember when I put that one in my phone), even though the person I was texting apparently knew a Nikki. However, that's a bit of a giveaway because A.) she would have known who Nicole was ASAP and B.) she never calls me Nikki. At least they spelled it right. ....What was I talking about? Oh, Brett. Right. I was wondering if it really was him or the person on the other end was just "Uh, yeah, sure" but now that I've looked at it again, yeah, it's him. Haha. Katie and Jenni are still MIA. Jenni's probably with her bundle o'joy and Katie's probably partying. Well, no, maybe not. Hard to say with that one. ;D Kurt's message was pretty funny considering it sounded like he thought I might have been a guy, still, someone he knew, and apparently I also know Heather because I appeared to have talked to her. Yes, Kurt babe, I'd love to go out Saturday, but I kinda live across the country now. Nyah hah.

What started off all this texting mess was Shawn. Now, the funny thing about that is that early this morning I was in the shower randomly thinking about stuff (as I often do in the shower - I never get any story ideas in there, contrary to what a book I read said), and I thought that perhaps I should type up a blog with little shout-outs to everyone since I know email may be somewhat unreliable. Especially for some people whose email I just don't have, like Ryan's and Shawn's and whoever else might pop into my head that I'd like to say "Hey, what's happenin?!" to. Then I started thinking about the last time I'd talked to some people and how I'd left messages here and there and was trying to remember when that was. I'd last called Sandra while in a mall, having gotten there way too early and the shops were closed and the old people were walking in circles for exercise. Shawn I'd last called ah...some time ago. Before my wisdom teeth were going to be pulled - I remember rambling on about that being on my agenda. Everyone else, well, phone calls I don't even recall. Email, that's different.

So back to the beginning, I'd gotten out of the shower and several hours later was sitting on the couch, TV off, working on my grad thesis (aka SF novel) when my phone jingles next to me. Here's the weird thing - I didn't have the number in any of my contacts, but somehow it looked familiar. I recognized the area code as Sandra and my sis both have it, and I knew Shawny-boy lived in the area. I'd think it might be him and then go, "Naaaaahhhh," to myself because I didn't see much reason for him to randomly text me, that and who knew where he might actually be at this juncture in time? So of course I'm the putz asking, "Dur, who is this?" And voila! Shawn. Who'da thunk?

So yeah. A random day, with random occurrences. I'm going to go play now. Hope everyone had a good turkey day and didn't OD on food! (I'll be doing that tomorrow) I'll see about getting a decent "What I did on my vacation between the beginning of October - the end of November" blog up sooner or later. Not like I'm doing much, but ya know.

Currently: Yay!

I don't know...

2007-10-09T12:26:00.000-05:00

Um, ok.

Yesterday I watched the movie Premonition. It's weird, quite disappointing, and in the end, rather pointless. But now I've seen it so oh well. Anyway, if you don't know the premise of the movie, you can look it up because I'm not giving you a summary - I've got something else to put out there.

Last night I went to bed around 1am. Normal bedtime for me, really. I mention the movie because of what happened later on. When 6am rolled around, I woke up a little in order to turn over and get more comfortable as I tend to often do. The moment I rolled over I heard someone's phone ringing. Everyone has different ringtones on their phone and what confused me was that this song was "Ride of the Valkyries." And it was loud. I laid there baffled for a bit, thinking, "It's not my phone - I don't have that ringtone and it sounds like it's outside my door." I got up, poked my purse to be sure (as my phone is in my purse), and then opened my door and stuck my head out thinking maybe it was coming from Ashley's room across the way - like she was listening to music or something weird.

No. The sound was downstairs, and it was dad's phone because I could tell it was indeed a ringtone and dad's phone is always frickin' loud. It rang once more and then it stopped. The weird thing? Dad doesn't have that ringtone programmed to play on his phone when it rings. He's just got a normal ringing sound. I stood there just trying to understand wtf just happened before deciding it was just a weird...something (it was 6am I wasn't going to think real hard) and then went back to bed. That's when I looked at my clock and saw it was 6am. Then I tried to figure out who would call that early? Grandma had called last night concerning something about Granpa again. I didn't know what, but it didn't sound all that great from dad's end. And who always gets up early to putter around the house? Grandma. She was my only answer because nothing else really made sense. Heck, the ringtone didn't make sense. Finally after several uneasy thoughts I finally managed to go back to sleep.

I was not dreaming. I want to get that to you right now. I had plenty of dreams last night but that wasn't one of them. I don't dream about my dark room in that kind of detail. Not with the towel hanging on the door and my shelf and the purse on it and all that jazz. I was awake. I never dream about waking up and falling asleep. I don't dream about lying in bed with my eyes closed thinking about things. I was awake. So this morning I go downstairs and inform dad about this weird phone thing. Sure enough, he doesn't have that ringtone set on his phone. I know this. He thinks I'm weird. I'm not. I steal his phone and go through his ringtones and guess what I find? Under the word "Soaring" is the ringtone I heard. Ride of the Valkyries. Dad still thinks I'm wacked because he doesn't have that set for anything. I know, but that's what I heard. He also doesn't have any missed calls listed for 6am.

I tell mom about how I had a Premonition-like moment and explain to her. She suggests looking up dream stuff and maybe my window was open and someone walking outside. No - I was awake and A.) my window was closed, B.) I would not have heard it in that same clarity if it were, and C.) it came from downstairs, not the opposite direction where my window is. Clearly dad thinks I dreamed it and mom isn't sure (it wasn't her phone either, I checked and her phone was off and anyway, I know my phone way too much to know it wasn't hers because we have the exact same phone and they're not that loud, nor do they carry that song). This kind of pisses me off because just yesterday when we were watching the previews before the movie and they had one on where this house was haunted and the daughter knew something was wrong but the parents thought she was loopy and I was talking about how if something like that ever happened to me, if my parents didn't believe me I'd be pissed. Plenty of irony this morning.

So I don't know what happened. How that ring played. Who called this morning (I emailed my grandparents and asked). Maybe when dad goes to work out or otherwise isn't around his phone I'll snatch it and call it and not leave a message or answer it just to find out A.) what ringtone plays and B.) whether or not it will say he's got a missed call.

Either way, when I was standing there in the dim light, I considered going down and taking the phone to dad in case it really was grandma with not-so-great news or something. In retrospect, maybe it would have been a good idea as long as he got to it while it was still ringing. Otherwise I'd probably be screwed, what with the wrong ringtone and no missed call listing.

Very weird. Oh, and if you don't believe me either, then bite me.

At least I didn't have to face anyone dying. ...I hope.

Pennsylvania Drivers are Fucktards

2007-09-15T17:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry. I just had to say it. Why? Because it seems 98% of the time, it's true. I'm sure there are a lot of Pennsylvanians out there who don't drive like total morons, but there sure as hell are a lot that do. In my 13ish years of living in Illinois, I've encountered a decent amount of idiot drivers, some with a few memorable moments, and then have had one accident that was due to some thick fog.

Within my near 4 months of living here, I've almost been hit (both in my car and when riding with someone else) at least 4 or 5 times. I wish Pennsylvania would pass a "Don't drive while talking on your cell phone you fucking douchebag" law because I swear to God, so many people turn into inept losers when they talk on their cell phones and drive. And there are plenty of them out here. And for the record, I don't talk on my cell phone when I drive. Personally I find it too distracting, so if you call me when I'm driving, you won't get an answer. There are some people that are handy enough that they can drive and cell phone at the same time, but so far I haven't encountered any of them here.

When it comes to simple driving, cell phones or not, people tend to back up without looking, make left turns right in front of you because they figure you're far enough away that they can go for it, stop short, change lanes with NO consideration/courtesy whatsoever (and many times without even so much as a signal), and I swear, no one knows how to remotely use speed limit signs. I'm not saying everyone has to go the speed limit, no ifs ands or buts, and I also think one of the problems is Pennsylvania's road sign problem. 35 for this turn, 45 for this straight section, 25 for this curve, all of which are in like a fucking mile of one another - it's ridiculous. Not to mention just road signs in general; buckle up, don't tailgate, center lane for turning only (no shit Sherlock), keep cars at least two dots apart (yeah, there are spots painted on the road, wtf is that?), beware aggressive drivers (what?), this area targeted for enforcement, and the list goes on. I read a study once that the less signs there are, the more people tend to pay attention to their driving and stop driving like psychos. But I digress. The thing that drives me insane is that while driving down a 35 mph street, people will drive 30 or even 25. A stark change when they were driving 45 in a 35 mph zone not 2 minutes earlier around the block. Not to mention cranking it up to 50 when in another 35 mph zone (which was previously 45 not even close to a mile away). While I can handle speeding (as people tend to do that all the time), I cannot stand it when people don't even drive the speed limit.

I mean, I left 30 minutes before the time I had to be at work when I was in Rantoul and on average, I would make it there with 5 or more minutes to spare. Kohl's was about 15 miles away. Now, Barnes and Noble (I'll get to that in a minute as I realize I've not updated you guys) is a mere 5 or so miles away and should take about 10 minutes on a good day. Not so. I understand that stop lights (as there are plenty of them in my way) can take up time. But there have been times when it takes 5 or more minutes to get out of my driveway, and then deal with the idiots who just cram the roads driving at speeds that somehow tend to be lower than the speed limit (at least one a few selected roads for some reason). I often leave 20 to 25 minutes before my allotted work time in order to get there. And still there have been times when I end up late. Sometimes it's 2 minutes, but I've been as much as 10 minutes late and it pisses me off. I shouldn't have to leave half an hour early just to make it on time to a workplace that is 5 goddamn miles away just because no one understands the basic concepts of operating a vehicle. Heck, just the other day I swear someone parked at the side of the road waiting to go out honked at me. I wasn't close to them. It wasn't a situation where you let them get out in front of you. I don't know you. Ytf are you honking at me? Ugh. Freakos.

And have I mentioned Pennsylvania is the cone capital of the world? It is. Everyone, even Pennsylvanians, agree. And the roads aren't even all that awesome some of the time so I don't know wtf all these guys are doing when it comes to road construction. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, yes, Nicole has a job. Again. In retail. Again. I applied to a lot of places. Several were desk jobs, data entry and secretarial stuff and so forth, one was for the PSPCA, and I figured "Why the hell not?" and applied to Barnes and Noble. Some places never replied. I did a 3 hours trial at the PSPCA and never got a call back (even to say "No, you're not hired"). Ironically, B&N called back maybe a week (if that) after I dropped off my app and resume, and then two days after my interview, I was hired. Cool. Hey, it's a job. *shrug* And anyway, it's a lot more relaxed than other retail places. Well, in some ways. I'm not a big fan of dealing with people, as you all know, and the irony of this is that B&N is all about customer service. I was hoping to be in a position of either putting books away and mulling about the shelves all day or even in the back sorting through titles, buuuut as with most retail places now, everyone pretty much knows how to do everything (except work in the cafe, that's separate and I'm not ever doing that). I only get stressed when I'm at the information desk because I'm still working on logging all the book areas away in my brain (as in, where they are). I like being in the Children's area better because it's smaller, makes it easier to find things, and there are less people to deal with. Most of the time parents just bring their kids in to putz around or already know the book they're looking for.

I used to say I'd never cashier. Well that went out the window when I worked at Kohl's and had to learn to get my shit together pretty fast. Once again, I find myself cashiering, however, this is a lot nicer. Even though I can get a bit bored from time to time, it is a lot easier to ring up books than it is clothes and accessories and other wacky shit where you have to hunt for the damn barcode and sometimes it'll be missing, or people will bitch about the price, "It was 60% off! Wah wah wah," but here, all the books have barcodes stamped on them or they're stickered, end of story. Very little hunting. Sure, things aren't perfect, but nothing is ever perfect is it? And the clientele is much better; readers who are more mellowed and more at ease. I think the store's atmosphere helps.

The problem with working there? Same as Kohl's: I want to buy crap. Haha. I do get some not-so-bad discounts, but I did some price comparing and find that notwithstanding shipping charges, Amazon is still cheaper. Haha. I'm thinking of contacting the higher ups (since we can) and saying something. Despite that, I literally have no shelf space available. It is possible for me to rearrange a few things, but not many. Sad. I can't even really put up any shelves because um, I don't really have anywhere to put them. I have little wall space since my room is essentially shaped like this (only bigger - if it was that size it's very likely I would have said "Screw that noise" and looked for an apartment somewhere. Oh, and no skylights either, just a window at the end). I think if I was really motivated I could finagle some shelves but I don't know if I'd want to bother since I won't be here all that long. Plus I don't want to do anything that could potentially add to the value of this house becuase the fucker that owns it doesn't deserve it simply for being a complete fucking dumbass. (Yeah, I have no respect for the man. Have I mentioned small maple trees are growing out of our gutter?)

That's the latest update. Hmm. I sound bitter again. Whatever happened to happy blogs? I think it's because most of the time when I use my blog as a Pensieve, I use it as a way to bitch that way I don't keep rehashing it elsewhere. Ok, well here's a happy thought for you; fall is coming and fall is awesome and today is a gorgeous day and tomorrow I get to go fly fishing. Yep, Nicole fly fishes now. Whee!

Have I also mentioned that there's a prison not too far from here?

Possibly Sad, But Probably True

2007-08-19T01:48:00.000-05:00

I've come to a very definitive conclusion today. I've said this many times before in passing, but at this point I'm pretty sure that it's true. I say pretty sure becuase who knows, there may be some miracle out there that changes my mind (though I doubt it).

The point is that I don't think I'm going to marry an American boy. No offense to any of you, I have nothing against American men, but none of you attract me the way, ah, others do. It goes back to my love of the variations of the English accent. It never fails, they make me melt in ways no guy ever really could. So here it is:

I am more likely to marry an English or Scottish guy. If not one of those two then Irish. If not Irish, Australian, and if not then perhaps Canada, though we'll just leave Canada alone for now. Yes, American guys, sorry, but I don't see myself marrying any one of you any time soon. And no, it does not count if you can do a very good English/Scottish/Irish/Australian accent. I might find it attractive, but if it's not real then it's not as much fun. And no, I do not have to be called a "lass" or whatever you geeks might be thinking. I just want the accent, the real deal, plain and simple. Those of you who have tried to get me to date boozing, insecure, fawning all over me guys are all fired.

This post doesn't have any bearing on, well, anything, I just felt the need to say it. To put it out there. *shrug* That's all. It makes me laugh because it's probably never going to happen and I'm a dork for thinking so, buuuuut I don't much give a shit. Hahahaha.

In any case, my sister once had to fly to California for her microbiology work, and almost out to Antarctica, so Stace, if they ever ask you to fly to England, Scotland, Ireland, or Australia, if you don't ask me to come with you, I will kill you upon your return.

Ok. Guess I should go do something productive now.

I crack myself up.

YES!

2007-07-29T14:31:00.000-05:00

OMG I am AWESOME!

AWESOME I TELL YOU!

*evil, maniacal laughter*

Yes, this is one of those times when I am not humble at all.

Awww, They're So Cute!

2007-07-28T04:05:00.000-05:00

So what do I do when I'm not reading Harry Potter and making outlandish (or maybe not - who knows? I'm not done reading yet) allegations about what will happen or what's happening:

Harry is a Horcrux!

Godric Gryffindor's sword is the Elder Wand!

Dumbledore has the Elder Wand!

Both Voldemort and Harry are going to die! (or not!)

OMG did they just kill so-and-so?!

Or when I'm not lazing around trying to think of something to do that will amuse me even though I have a whole bunch of other things I should be doing like writing $35 worth of articles or job hunting/resume submitting or writing or reading a required book that is actually sitting right next to me as we speak and due back on 8/6?

I search the Internet for useless crap. You should consider that your warning because the rest of this particular blog entry is going to be full of utterly useless crap. Unless you're a dork like me, in which case never mind.

Now, I don't remember how exactly this whole thing started, even if it did just happen a few days ago, but I was looking for something or had a sudden influx of nostalgia or something, but I ended up at the Internet Movie Database looking up the old Nickelodeon show, Are You Afraid of the Dark? Even now, looking through my internet history, I can't figure it out. Anyway, whatever the reason was, from there I went to YouTube seeing of there were any episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? listed on there. Mostly because I'd visited the IMDB forum about the "scariest episodes" and found two that I hadn't seen before and wanted to check them out if all possible. Joy of joys, there are some. I remembered thinking the leader of the Midnight Society, Gary, was kind of cute and got to thinking, "I wonder what he looks like now?" He's, ah, not bad. Heheh. I scrolled through his credits and found something that got me squealing in delight (and yeah, I do tend to squeal like an excited 15 year old sometimes); he'd popped up in Stargate Atlantis. As I made to find out where, I found out I actually remembered him. I found the episode on YouTube (probably by sheer luck it hadn't been deleted or something) and sure enough, there he was. Sweet.

Today, after watching one (and having watched several the nights before just for kicks), AYAOTD episode, a thought popped back in my head that had occurred to me earlier. Ross Hull (Gary), AYAOTD, and Atlantis all had Canadian ties. Which means the actors could have easily circulated around. One guy surfaced in my brain and the more I thought about it, the more I was certain I was right. There's one AYAOTD episode called "The Tale of the Dark Dragon" that I'd always thought was super cute. Not scary, just "Awwww!" cute. To add to that, the main guy in the story, Keith, was also very "Awwww!" cute. What I'd realized was the guy playing Keith might actually be a character in Atlantis as well, and when I compared their faces in my mind, I was certain of it.

Sure enough, thanks again to IMDB, I was right (WA-POW!). Chuck Campbell was the cutie Keith and is also in Atlantis. A lot. 31 episodes so far, in fact. Funny thing is, he doesn't have a name in that show. Hahaha. ("DO I!? DO I?!") He's just "Technician." Nyahah. Funny how he's made it this far. Anyway, yeah, he's pretty damn cute too. And sweet googly-moogly do I love being right. And I love non-important actors (as in, they're not surrounded by Paparazzi and they're not freaking in your face all the time like 99% those freaks in Hollywood). To Chuck's extra credit, I always thought that episode was one of the better acted episodes of that series. It didn't seen quite as hokey. He and Cara Pifko (girl playing Mariah) were really good. Fun times even though I'm sure you don't care. However, I did also come to an interesting realization:

Hot damn, some of these Canadian boys are cute!

Yay Keith! Hahaha!

I just have to say it...

2007-07-25T02:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I FUCKING HATE this internet connection.

There is just no excuse for this thing to be acting this way. There really isn't. I mean, all other webpages pop up nicely just like they're supposed to on a cable hookup, but then other pages just don't and no matter what I do, they refuse to come through until either I kill my connection and start it again or I wait a while and then TA DA! it just magically works.

WHAT the HELL?

I mean, Deviant Art is a particular sore spot with me when it comes to this goddamn thing. The site may come in fine - aside from some of the pictures. They don't show. Random thumbs on the front page, the larger versions of images (and yet when I choose smaller view they come through perfectly). Refresh doesn't work. "Go" at the top doesn't work. Clicking it back and forth doesn't work. Sometimes the "Download" option works, but if there isn't one then I'm screwed and sometimes it's just a bitch and doesn't work ANYway so wtf.

Now, back in Rantoul it was cool. Why? Because the internet was slow. Being slow, while not awesome, at least means I know what I'm getting. If a page is hardcore Flash, then no shit, it isn't going to load, isn't going to load well, or isn't going to load until 15-60 minutes later. I knew what to expect with a dial-up internet connection, so while everyone around me was yelling and bitching at the computer, I sat there patiently and let it do its thing because I knew it could only go so fast and freaking out wasn't going to get me anywhere.

I know freaking out isn't going to get me anywhere either, but I swear to God it just pisses me off to no end that an internet connection that is supposed to be super-fucking-awesome just has random seizures and/or clusterfuck moments. There's no pattern either! It doesn't only freak out at DA (like I originally thought it was isolated to), but it's freaked out everywhere from YouTube to Hotmail to the goddamn local library webpage. I shouldn't have to be rebooting my connection every few hours just to get to a single fucking page. It just makes me want to throw things and I have nowhere to properly lash out at because we have long since made the punching bag unavailable (and after the move dad sold it, only to learn that OHYEAH, NIKKI LIKES TO HIT IT FROM TIME TO TIME). Cripes. *grr*

Oh, yeah, NOW the DA pictures work. Fucking reject cable connection. *grumbles*

On a lighter note, you people should have seen me yesterday when the parents went out for coffee at Star-steal-your-bucks and then a bit of grocery shopping. Now, I'm pretty certain that if I had my own place, I would be content because I would eat like I wanted and wouldn't have to worry about restrictions. I'd eat healthy enough, but still have junk food on hand to make me happy. I did it at college, so there's no reason I wouldn't do it again. However, stuck here means I have to deal with everyone else and most notably, dad and his carbs-are-evil diet. T_T Now even that wouldn't be so bad if we were able to have a reasonable amount of snacky food in the house (a bag of chips and some cookies - I honestly don't need that much), but since Ashley is dieting too (because she needs it), that means that sort of thing is out. For dad, if it's here, he "has" to eat it. Like, the man has no self control. He's got this Everest mantra: if it's there, I'm going to eat it. No, no, you do not. You do not have to eat it if it's in the house! And then he gets all pissed if we hide food. Um, we hide it so you don't know it's here and hence, you don't eat it. Doy. And then if we get good food and everyone's eating it, Ashley has to have some too because come on, that's just mean if everyone is chowing down on cookies and we say, "Nope, sorry, you can't have any, you're fat." I mean, she's a big girl, but it's not like she's scary obese or anything.

So me? Here's my problem. If it's not in the house and it's not allowed in the house, I start to go all psycho. I want it more because I can't have it, which makes me freak out because I never know when I'll be able to next have a cookie or chocolate bar without everyone around me wigging out. I start to twitch. People who know me already know I'm a chocoholic and if you give me good quality chocolate, I will freaking love you for life (or at least until you do something to majorly piss me off). So now that I'm in an environment where chocolate is prohibited until someone higher up (mom) starts twitching herself and dad allows her to have some or cracks himself and has a bit since just a little isn't going to kill his diet (though these times are few and far between). If I had my own place, I wouldn't be concerned. I'd have a bag of cookies or a bag of Hershey nuggets or something, eat a few after a meal, and that would be my fix. Awesome, clean cup, move down.

Ok, to the actual story; I probably looked like a flippin' coke dealer. You know how in the movies, say, Goodfellas, at the end when they get caught and Ray Liotta's wife is dumping all the coke down the toilet in that "Ohshitohshit" way and trying to make sure she doesn't spill and all that stuff? Ok, that was me. I have a recipe for No Bake Cookies and we had all the ingredients in the house. I'd been looking for an opportunity to make them, and so far, no dice. When they went out, the second I heard the car leave, I jumped up and started grabbing for ingredients, throwing butter into the pot and letting it melt while pouring milk into a measuring cup for solid ingredients and pretty much throwing everything together and muttering at the stuff in the pot, "Come on, come on, boil already!" Mostly because I didn't know if they were just getting coffee or getting coffee and doing a bit of shopping (mom had fussed about it being too late to shop so they left sort of clucking at each other). So I'm stirring stuff around, cranking up the heat and hoping Ashley doesn't come downstairs because then I'll have to share and I'm not too keen on doing that mostly because I don't want to be the instrument of her diet downfall.

I must have set a speed record for making these cookies, which I didn't even put down in cookie format because dropping them onto wax paper to cool would have taken up way too much time, and I can't hide them that way, so BOOM! into the 9x9 inch pan they go since I can cut them into bars later (I've done this before, heh). And now I've made us nearly empty on sugar, oats (not like anyone used them anyway), butter, and peanut butter (except I don't feel too bad about that because dad eats that crap like candy since he's always craving carbs and that's the best he can come up with since it's mostly protein or whatever). I didn't start thinking about Goodfellas until the cleanup. Now that everything is done, I'm throwing shit back into cupboards and making sure they're in the right spots so as not to look conspicuous, and washing out the pot, measuring cups, spoons, knives, and anything else I used and putting it right back where I got it so it doesn't look like (duh) I cooked something. I'd had the fan on above the stove to suck out the heat and scent of chocolate (just cocoa powder), and made sure to wipe up even the few drops of chocolate mixture where I'd stirred a little too vigorously.

Want an adrenaline rush? Cook like a psycho. Of course, after all that (which might have taken as little as 15-20 minutes for all I know) they didn't get back until way later, but at least by then I had the cookies up in my room cooling off where no one will see them except mom or Ashley. Ashley might ask about them or ask to have one, as I'm sure she knows what they are, but until then, I'm not going to mosey over there and offer one. I know, and I feel bad about it because it pretty much makes me a selfish, sugar-grubbing whore, but I'm tired of sharing when I really shouldn't be anyway when it comes to things like that. I told mom I had them because I'd been talking to her about them anyway, but she hasn't come up for any either (and bought Tastykakes today sooo...yeah I dunno).

Anyway, I was just amused by myself. I think if anyone had seen me they would have been like, "Geez, Nicole, chill out!" Eheheheheh....

Fuck yeah no bake cookies!

Exceedingly Bored

2007-07-14T04:01:00.000-05:00

Yes, this is what happens when I am not just bored, but exceedingly bored. In truth, I'm procrastinating. I could be working on my book, hell, I could even be writing another article for my random freelance job, but no, I'm here doing what I do best. Ramble about basically nothing.

I could talk about Transformers and how that movie was awesome, I think Shia LaBeouf is cute even though he is two years younger than me...wait, really? Hmm... Anyway, I say if a guy has even a crappy car and it turns into a robot, I'm all yours. Haha. Apart from some stupid moments and parts that could easily be cut to make the movie way better, it was pretty fantastic - and I want the soundtrack. The last time I wanted a soundtrack that bad was when Pirates 2 came out. I do have to say that it was a little anti-climatic. I have two ideas for better endings:

Better Ending 1: After the bit o'catalyst (don't want to spoil it just in case), I think Megatron should have gotten super powerful and then basically self destructed in a really cool explosion or meltdown.

Better Ending 2: Along the lines of exploding in a large manner (and forgetting the whole Shredder on Ooze part), since he's going to blow up mid-city, Optimus Prime should grab a leg and chuck him into the sky, allowing for a fantastic Megatron fireworks display. I mean, come on, with all the crazy stuff that goes on you might as well cap it off with a fanfare-like ending.

I could talk about sex and how I agree - the shoes need to come off first otherwise it just looks stupid. I could talk about some porn I found and how that girl was totally playing for the camera which made it lame but at least that guy was totally hot. Amusing for a moment - which sort of reminds me. I still think it's funny that people raising their hands for threesomes is not gasp-worthy and yet when I say I would be cool with posing nude for art and getting paid to do it, everyone freaks out. And by the way, a few years back I totally considered doing so when I saw an ad requesting models for Parkland...or maybe it was the U of I? I don't remember, but I thought about it.

On a totally separate note (and I do mean totally), I was observing my dog one day and started to think. She was just lying there, panting away since it was once again hot in the house, and I started staring at her white canine teeth and it came upon me - I have an animal with very sharp teeth just lying in the middle of my floor. I know, she's not a threat and she's not wild, but it does seem like a weird concept when you think about it. A far descendent of a wild animal (wolf) is sitting in my room...just hanging out with me. It doesn't seem so weird with snakes and tarantulas as most of the time they're in their cage and they're still pretty wild, but with other animals that you can let them run around even though they carry the potential to mangle you if they so chose. You could take Kahn as a good example. He was our last dog, a big black Doberman who decided to challenge dad for the position of alpha male. Obviously that didn't go over well. Of course we don't often think of these things since our dog is the nice dog (not counting dogs that are bred for fighting or treated/neglected to the point of meanness) but it's just a weird concept when you think about it long enough. ...Sort of how if you think of a certain word long enough it just sounds strange. Like...bleachers. Have fun pondering that.

Omg, porn is funny.

A Ring, Some Notes, and Pyrotechnics

2007-07-10T14:28:00.000-05:00

Not like I'm going to go in any order, just fyi. Anyway, now that Megan got her letter (which was surprisingly fast, by the way, quite shocked) and as I sit here listening to the Dune soundtrack (original Dune - and yes, total soundtrack junkie remember), I can inform everyone who cares of some happy fun-time stuff.

First off, and most importantly, my sister is going to get married (huzzah!). Yep, she's got the ring on her finger (and a damn nice ring too, I might add) and the plan is to have it all go down in October of 2009. And let me just say, October now officially kicks more ass than any other month. I mean, it kicked major ass before, but now it's even better. Come on, my birthday, my sister's wedding, Halloween, autumn? You just can't go wrong with October. Freaking love that month.

Anyway, we're already babbling about wedding plans, boxes of chocolates, wedding dress styles, bridesmaid dresses, who I'd walk with down the isle, who Ashley would walk with, the kind of DJing Stacey wants (with which I agree and might have to chitchat with the DJ to make sure he doesn't fuck it up - I take the duty of ensuring much of my sister's happiness seriously), decorations, and so on and so forth. It's gonna be a blast. Speaking of bridesmaid dresses, here's a list I've compiled so far so you girls can have fun in seeing what I'm looking at. At Stacey's behest, there is no need for all bridesmaids (3 of us) to wear the same thing. Especially since what looks fabulous on one person could look like total crap on another. Her only strong requests are no strapless, gown hits the floor, and have a two-toned option if possible (you know, like a dress and a little sash or something). All of these I'm easily cool with. I did strapless once and even though I was all Elizabeth Swann-style in it, I was still paranoid that it was going to slip down and I'd be in a condition to receive Mardi Gras beads. I don't like the idea of a short dress anyway - if I'm going to look extra fancy, the dress is going to be long and it's going to be kickass. And solid colors all the way through can be kind of boring - hence the dresses with the beading and fabric texture that follow. Check it out:

http://www.alvinavalenta.com/alv_bm/display_dress.php?imageno=9632&multimatch=x

http://www.alvinavalenta.com/alv_bm/display_dress.php?imageno=9634&multimatch=x

http://www.watters.com/product.php?coll=wtoo&showid=631#

http://www.jordanfashions.com/products.asp?nCatID=1&nProductID=651&nPhotoID=16538

http://www.jordanfashions.com/products.asp?nCatID=3&nProductID=700&nPhotoID=17648

http://www.venusbridal.com/cgi-bin/description.asp?dress=K825D&dressline=Bridesmaids

http://www.venusbridal.com/cgi-bin/description.asp?dress=K790D&dressline=Bridesmaids (NOT in that color)

http://www.venusbridal.com/cgi-bin/description.asp?dress=K025D&dressline=Bridesmaids

My favorite dress is the very first one. Second favorite is the 6th one (orange!). I'm not sure what color I'll go with, and since Stacey's going for an autumn style sort of thing, I'm thinking along the lines of deep red, orange, or the creme of the first dress.

I found out about the engagement when I got a text message during residency from Stacey basically calling me a sneaky whore or something like that. Haha. See, before moving Nick had emailed me, telling me to get her out of the house for about an hour so he could do the old-fashioned style of asking dad for her hand ("Especially since your dad owns a shotgun."). So the day before the actual moving day (they came up to pick up a sofa, if you recall the story), I told Stacey to come and walk the dog with me. Lame, I know, but it was all I had. Couldn't go get ice cream because it was too early, and there wasn't much else to do. At first she said no, which sent me into a panic because there was no Plan B. After prodding by both dad and Nick, she went and we took the camera - which reminds me, I need to send her the rest of the dumb pictures we took, and some of those in the field a few blog posts back are from that point in time - and about an hour later we got back. Nick found me a little later to show me the ring. Oooooh...pretty....single diamond, very nice size, white gold band. It's a sweet ring, let me tell you.

Switching major gears, I forgot to mention how awesome the 4th of July was. I was going to do it a day or two later, but kept forgetting or was too lazy to do it, so I might as well do it now. Rantoul, though I give them credit for what they did have, can't quite scratch the surface of State College fireworks. The main difference is that State College fireworks are bigger and there are more of them. We started out at a baseball game, dealing with rain on and off all day, and then moved on to hang out with some of dad's friends at a Cajun shrimp cookout. If you've ever seen on TV where they cook those big batches of shrimp/crawdads and then dump it out all over the table along with a few ears of corn and potatoes, that was it. I don't believe I've ever ODed on shrimp before, but that did it. When the fireworks came, everyone had their radios on, something I thought a bit strange...until the show started.

As a soundtrack junkie extraordinaire, as well as an extreme lover of good timing, I was very, very pleased. See, State College apparently does it's fireworks to music, timing the fireworks themselves to specific beats in the music. I've never had the software or means to make music videos, but if I had, they would kick ass. Instead the best I can do is choose pieces of music to match the video game I'm playing just to get more fun out of it. That's why I love good timing so much - I just think it's awesome. And these guys were damn good. Damn good. What was even more fun for me is that I was sitting there telling everyone around me which piece of music was playing. Gettysburg to start things off, the Batman theme from the first movie, I believe I heard Superman at one point, and they finished off with Back to the Future, which is a great suite but the amount of fireworks for the finale drowned out the music, sadly. It was a lot of music, and that's what I remember at the moment, but it was one of those times where I felt proud to be such a soundtrack geek. Boo-yah.

Can ya feel the magic? =P

Will You, Won't You

2007-07-08T04:26:00.000-05:00

After a brief battle with blogger and the ability to post a title, I realize this is the second reference to Alice in Wonderland I will have used in a post. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

Let's see now. I could talk about a post a fellow writer made in their blog about acting different during the residency than the time outside of the residency. I suppose I rambled about that sufficiently enough last time, though I guess I could add that my answer is opposite to what theirs was. Anyone who knows me thinks I'm crazy in a good way. I constantly offer cookies as rewards, I demand a pony of my parents every chance I get simply because it's my phrase of the moment, I like to swear because I am able to grasp that words are words even though I will rein myself in order to spare others the so-called horror of those words (but you know, many of them have become quite versatile), I don't mind making stupid sound effects at random times, and there are many other quirks I have that those at residency never saw.

But then, I keep myself quiet until I'm more comfortable around new people before I go off the deep end. You never know who can handle what, so you have to test the waters first. For example, unlike pretty much all my college buddies, many at the residency seemed adverse to swearing, thus upon learning so, I was done with that part of the program. No swearing for Nicole. So sad. Haven't you noticed? My blog is NC-17. Damn right. Anywho, I keep my weirdness away from the world until it's ready for it. Never mind if you think you're weird - who knows? Perhaps your weirdness and mine won't mesh. Maybe you have different thoughts on what is weird. Either way, I was much more reserved at residency than I am here. You'll have to wait before you see my gold blood...

I could also talk about nice guys and nice girls, but that topic has been done to death, since the Ode to the Nice Guy and the retaliation by the Ode to the Nice Girl, which I considered amending to make it fit more for the real Nice Girls (or maybe I should also upgrade the term into Good Girls as Nice Guys have been revamped by many into Good Guys, a mix of bad and good). In the Ode, the Nice Girl is constantly chasing after the Nice Guy who seeks out the whore, bad girl, bitch, etc. in hopes that he will notice her magnificence and correct the error of his ways. Fuck that. I'm not going to chase you if you're too dumb to figure out that woman you're drooling over would sooner step on you than look at you and you're too blind to realize I kick ass. I'll move on to better, greener pastures. We are no longer Nice Girls, but instead Good Girls or some formulation thereof. Perhaps we should go with the term Ladies as it has been transformed from elegant into a term containing a certain amount of sex appeal. We could take back the word and make it our own. We are elegant, but we've got that zesty sex appeal all you boys crave. Also been referred to as the glint (in the eye).

I don't chase anymore. I did for a bit, but I'm done with that. I'll wait until I find what I want. People call me picky. I used to feel insulted - no I wasn't picky! claimed I. And now I think, hell yes I am. What? Did you all want me to lower my standards? Think I should ease up and settle? Haha, screw you bucko. Nicole does not settle. Never mind that I like to dream about Vega or Kaiton or some other fictional character of mine who suddenly appears on my doorstep or shows up at some other obscure location to sweep me away into a different realm. Besides, I'm aware this isn't going to happen, but there's nothing wrong with dreaming. And never mind that men with English/Scottish/Irish/Australian accents turn me to mush, in which case I'm probably screwed in the guy department (or maybe not so if your mind is in the gutter) because I'm in America, land of the All-American boy. Where many of the men these days seem to be either gay, taken, or in the military. Not that I need a pretty boy or a military boy to make my day. No, no, I know what I want. And I have a thought on the whole "bad boy" scenario. At least, I know my thing when it comes to bad boys. Maybe it's not entirely that they're dangerous and exciting, but there's the underlying soft good boy core we'd like to get at. Like, he's bad, but in his heart, he's good and he cares about me like no other.

What I'd like? Oh, I'll take the bad boy in certain situations and with certain circumstances. I don't in real life because I know bad boys are what they are - change in people is difficult, and with many bad things, a change for the good is even more difficult and sometimes just not possible. I'm not going to date some guy from prison in the hopes that he'll turn around and be fabulous. Hahaha, yeah right. In my world though, I'd love to have the guy who had the potential to kill someone, but at the same time treated me as though I were the most precious thing on this earth. I'd love to have the guy willing to die for me - and don't think I'm so selfish. I want the guy I'm willing to die for as well. Ah death - how romantic. Haha. Anyway, the exisitence of such a man is slim to none. That's why you'll find me pining for those that don't exist, because the dream of them is sweeter than the best chocolate. Just tonight I basically melted all over in seeing a particular favorite actor of mine (no, you probably won't guess it so just stop) playing the part of a complete freak and guess what? He threw in an Irish accent with it. *growl* Tasty. Of course, the character wasn't redeemable, but I was busy enjoying his performance as such, since he's usually the goody-goody of the day.

I could go on about my personality twists and what I've simply begun to call my fetish for men with British and British-related accents, but let's move on, shall we? I know, it's NC-17 but that doesn't mean it has to be sex (or lack thereof) and violence. Let's try to get away from my horrible side.

I wrote a story last night. (Wow, abrupt conversation change, no?) Yes, after watching the new Doctor Who episodes (and of course squealing with delight over David Tennant who is insatiably cute...) I started putzing around on the internet to amuse myself and found something on YouTube. I don't even remember what it was now, but I remember the song that looped on the film. It was from the show - and I wanted it. Utilizing my technological resources, I found several pieces of music (and resolved the next day to get the rest - which I now have). It wasn't until 2:30am that I finally flopped down in bed, leaving the music to play (as it was sweet and all of piano and violins and sad flutes and such). But soundtracks tend to have their way with me sometimes, sneaking ideas into my head. I once read somewhere that 90% of writers get their ideas in the shower. I've never once gotten an idea in the shower - but I do have some great ones whilst in bed. Last night was no exception. A man who repairs string instruments...who particularly loves the violin...who makes the strings out of...something...special. Heh. I couldn't let it go - so I hopped out of bed, put the set of songs on loop, and wrote a very brief story. I think I might type it up and plop it somewhere quiet in the internet and leave a link in the WPF (Writing Popular Fiction, remember?) message board for my fellow writers to read if they like. I'm curious to know whether or not it's useable in any fashion (mostly for a short story piece to send in somewhere). Ah, but even if not, it was wonderful to write. I didn't go to bed until 4:30am.

I had two cups of coffee today and even though it's now 2:06am, I'm still going strong.

Finally reviewed some soundtracks and got them off the computer. Good - because I'm running out of space. Need to ease up on the anime I guess. *innocent whistle*

There is one more piece of crucial information...ok, I guess it isn't crucial to anyone at all, but it's still fantastic that I'd like to dish out, but I think that this blog has gotten long enough and also I don't want to ruin something. I sent out a letter to a friend today (that's right, snail mail) that has this piece of info and I'd hate for her to read about it here before she got the letter *coughMegancough*. So I'll hold off for another day. Besides, it will require a lot of gabbing, link posting, and pondering over various ideas. I wonder if I can review another soundtrack before I go to bed...

Personalities are multi-faceted like diamonds. What do you think happens when you unlock mine?

Just so you know:

2007-07-02T19:49:00.000-05:00

"It's so hot! Milk was a bad choice!"

2007-06-27T00:32:00.000-05:00

It's hot.

"Oh, in Pennsylvania most of the houses don't have air conditioners because it never gets hot enough to use them."

Um, no. When you live on a busy street where the sun has all day to cook the asphalt and steam the trees and your house is conveniently located in a spot where the wind (if there is any at all) has a hard time getting to the windows, air conditioning will start to sound pretty kick ass.

Especially when your room is upstairs. I'm hot right now and I'm not even on my computer, which is in my room. On carpet, no less. I don't want to turn it on for fear of it overheating at some point. It sucks. I've been saying I'm good to go, that I'm used to being in a hot room, but geez, at least when I was in my box at school I did have the option of a/c and in the winter I could open up a window. Here the options are slim to none.

I can't write here. I realized that today. Aside from the constant distractions (TV too close to the dining room, computer in the office, upstairs desk small with a monitor right in front of my face even if it is off), the heat just sucks the energy right out of you. I scraped together a Prologue today (changing my beginning yet again, though when I looked I realized I'd only technically changed it twice before now.....and apparently I have a pirate outside my house because I just heard a very charismatic "Ha haa!"), but that's the extent of my work for now. 2 pages and I'm just too sweaty and gross to continue. And the weird thing is that even now that it's dark out, it seems hotter. I just don't get it. The poor dog has been panting all day. It's gotta suck to have a fur coat in June with no a/c.

About the writing, I've decided that I'll have to go out other places to get it done. Wegman's. Barnes & Noble. Some other little coffee shop or cafe I find in order to write. I need semi-distraction. I once went to a library and found myself all on my own and kept zoning out. At a more public place you're sort of forced to look productive or look wierd, and you can't exactly get up and wander around either for fear of your stuff going missing (you can always carry it with you but then you look kind of odd again, especially in a small place).

I think tomorrow I'll go on a library escapade and look for the books I need for this term. Maybe I'll hang out there for a while and soak up the a/c I know they'll have...

A short blog entry, I know, and I thought I had more to say, and I might have, if I weren't so hot and freaking sticky in this house...

I'll take one of these...or a pool

He's just...sitting there

2007-06-25T13:24:00.000-05:00

The title refers to the spider who was crawling on my wall a while ago and then somehow made the leap from wall to my computer desk. I think he might be the same one I found under my speaker a few weeks ago when I was trying to find where the hell the ant on my desk had gone. It was like a like action version of the I Spy books. Anyway, he's back by his speaker again (if it is indeed the same spider), and I'm pretty sure he was weaving a little invisible web around it...now he's just waiting between the lamp and the speaker like that's the entrance to the Hot Gates and he's got to defend Sparta or something. ...That would be awesome though, wouldn't it? All of a sudden a little spider leg goes up into the air and I hear a tinny, "This is SPARTA!" and the spider tackles a horde of ants that suddenly come his way...except then I'd be thinking "WTF? Where the hell did all these ants come from?" and I'd have to go get Mari's Ant Annihilation Care Package and that might mean killing the spider in the process and I don't really mind his being there, even though he's not going to get any food whatsoever...

Oook, now that I've skimmed through my own blog to find out what I've rambled about and what I haven't, I realized I've sort of missed mentioning my grad school thing. Sort of? Completely, more like.

Out of the 5 places I applied to here in PA, 4 said yes and 1 said no. (1 of those 4 took their sweet time in telling me too, geez). Slippery Rock University only had English, so they were basically my last place if all else fails. Rosemont College looked really nice and I actually intended to go there, but since they were the ones who didn't tell me until it was way too late (try late May) it was a no go. Then there was Wilkes University and Seton Hill University. Wilkes is probably a little more like ISU in its location and all that jazz, while Seton Hill would be more like Edwardsville - quiet, secluded, but still near a little town. It was a hard decision. I took as much time as I could trying to figure out where to go. It was even more difficult because both of them were basically the same - residencies followed by writing periods in which communication was all done online. I didn't even truly realize this until late (like the idiot I am). Basically, you would go to the university for several days and go all writer-hardcore during those days, then go home and work on your thesis project - aka novel.

I finally decided on Seton Hill. Probably a bit of a ballsy move considering the official title of the program is a Masters in Writing Popular Fiction as opposed to Masters in Creative Writing. The less ambiguous label is bound to get me when seeking out possible creative writing jobs teaching at community colleges and whatnot. I acknowledge my stupidity and/or guts. Hey, this is the girl who majored in English and minored in Japanese. Equally semi-useless in a world like this. But hey, I figured if I was going to write fantasy and science fiction novels I might as well immerse myself in the genre and be surrounded by people who are doing the same thing. Wilkes would have supported that, as my contact there informed me, but I've been around non-genre types for too long and I'm tired of feeling awkward.

Not that I didn't feel awkward at Seton Hill. I know, that doesn't make sense, but I'll get to that in just a second. I'm actually back from the residency now - it was June 19th to well, yesterday. I had to drive on many shitty roads chock full of crazy drivers and WAY too many road signs that switch MPH on you within a few miles and warning you of agressive drivers and to keep your eyes open and to understand that cops lurk everywhere and put your seatbelt on and hang up your cell phone and keep your eyes on the road and do not pass and stay in your lane and don't try to change your pants or do your makeup while driving. I wouldn't really be too surprised if I ever came upon signs like those last two in the future. And I agree with whoever said it at the residency - PA is where the US stores all its road cones and such. Plenty of construction - just not anything active. A lot of concrete walls and cones and barrels everywhere with no one doing anything. The lameness abounds.

As for the residency, the teaching modules (as they're called - we learn about various ideas and techniques to use; I now have a sweet little erotic dictionary, hey, I took the "Writing the Love Scene" one, what do you expect?) are awesome, all the teachers having been published and they're all animated and excited when they teach. It's been a while since I've seen teachers this into what they do. It's impressive. Still, even being surrounded by fantasy, science fiction, horror, mystery, romance, and other various genre writers, I felt a bit weird. I've been around regular (as I guess I might call most of you) people all my life so suddenly being around other people excitedly chatting on about their characters and how they got away from them and went on to do their own thing and who is doing what in the book, etc. etc. was strange. The closest I can say I've been to experiencing something similiar was when I hung out with my Japanese class. Even with them I could only hang out for so long before feeling out of place. Like part of me fit right in, but the rest, not so much. I'm weird like that. Like a key in a house with a lot of doors but I just don't fit in anywhere. I think it goes back to that lone wolf complex I developed a while ago. Too many years of moving have molded me into something altogether different and I quit being a leader in many terms of the word and went off to do my own thing instead of hanging with the group.

It kind of sucks in some ways because other newbies (as we were all called) were excited and seemed to fall right into place. I oftentimes just felt sort of...there. Of course I'd participate and I enjoyed all the classes and chit-chatting with people when I actually had something to say, but other times when we were all just hanging out in the lounge (signed up to live in one of the dorms for the week instead of spending more money on a hotel) I'd feel like a bump on a log. (Then there was the annoying high school drama that did not help, but that's a whole other story you'd have to ask me about, but at least that worked itself out well). Observing everything and cut off from it. Several people from residencies past had already formed a little bond and a had their cute group, and several newbies found each other and formed their new little group, but I didn't feel like I'd found even any one person I could connect to on a stronger level, not like Jane or Katie or Sandra.

Now, that's not to say no one was nice to me or I was a total hermit or I was awkward 24/7. I hid the awkwardness as much as possible and did what I could to fit right on in. Of course, saying that means I was a bit like that one puzzle piece that almost fits, but damn it all if it isn't the right one. And again, some of that was due to me not knowing what to do in the face of the high school drama. But I was invited to go along to places, dinner, whatnot, and it wasn't until Saturday night that I felt at my best and most comfortable. I didn't go to bed until 3:30am, a stark contrast to the 10:30pm bedtime (a record for me, by the way) on the 19th, first day I got there (though much of that was just me being freaking tired).

It was all good, though I do have to admit the lone wolf in me reared its head at the end of the residency yesterday. Graduation was nice, but immediately after that, I pulled my disappearing act (something I know a few of you remember me doing in college...and probably high school too from time to time). I slipped off and went straight to my car, pulled it up to the dorm and hauled my stuff out, planning to leave right after dropping off my key. Of course, that took more time and effort than I wanted - I was practically going to give myself a heart attack with how antsy I was to leave. I mean, I wanted to GO. I was taking stairs two at a time and never bothered with the elevator even when hauling luggage around (I was only on the second floor anyway). I like to leave and arrive without a lot of fanfare - any fanfare at all if possible. I've put have my crap into my dorm room at ISU while trying to be incognito before - all hat and sunglasses and boots (but I think Bill still noticed me so I apparently suck at basic disguises). So naturally I left without saying goodbye. Very rude, I know, but it's what I do. The way I am. I can only run with a pack for so long before leaving to run in the mountains on my own again. Semi ironic in some ways because I remember getting named the most sociable newbie at the start of the residency. Well, I did try. I made a point to attempt to be social - I wasn't just going to sit in my room and do nothing. I wanted to do everything. Kind of reminds me of my freshman year in college - I kept my door wide open so people could mosey on in and say hi. No one did. I was disappointed. It's the moving over the years. Gets tiring making friends when you're going to move in a few years. I still did, but I still retain that sense of "Why bother when the time is so short?" Heh. Makes me sound like a not-so-ideal candidate for the program when everyone kept talking about the friendships and camaraderie.

So some of you may be wondering - where do all these people come from? PA? Haha - no. To my amazement, people were coming from California, Florida, Oregon, New York, Illinois, and everywhere in between. That's something I found crazy and impressive at the same time. Here I was thinking it was a big thing for me to be moving to Pennsylvania and people are hopping on planes and getting 4 hours outside of their time zone to come here and write. Yowza.

Well, today is the day I start writing. I even have it on my list o'stuff to do here. I wrote it up last night and it says "WRITE U BITCH!" on it because I have to yell at myself sometimes to get going.

Ok, this blog is long enough. Time to eat, chill, and maybe take a nice hot bath just to relax. There's a whole list of stuff to do dad wrote up that kind of pisses me off becuase it means no one did anything while I was away. It's like things are incapable of getting done around here when I'm not present. But whatever, I get near-free room and board so I guess that's my penance for staying at home. Ciao!

I'm very jealous of my sister - she got a pony and I've only wanted one since forever... XD

P.S. That spider is still there...

Hear the shutter...screw up

2007-06-10T04:45:00.000-05:00

Shutters usually go "click" or something like that. Mom's camera is old. When we got it, it was hot stuff. Now it's kinda gone the way of camera-dinosaur land. That's why some of these pictures look like crap; the flash didn't go off. They've been toyed with by me in an attempt to make them go from "brown finish" to "semi-respectable." Obviously the outdoor pictures went well, as did the pictures where the flash decided to grace us with its presense. (and yes, that purple has been colored on to the cake - it used to be brown from the dumb camera. Just trying to help things out).

Don't mind me... Er, don't mind the dog either...

Mah car! And what mah hair looks like from the back (if you care)

That's how much hair I chopped off. Momma's 3rd cake.

My 3rd cake (roses = hard to do)

The collaborative 2nd cake. Mom's 1st cake.

And of course, my infamous 1st cake. Yes - it says "CAKE" on it. And yes, it was awesome.

"The time has come!" the Walrus said,

2007-06-03T12:38:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't already realize, Nicole is back and much farther away at that. Find out what happened on the way here and soon after by reading the two-parter:

The Moving Story

The House

Within a few weeks my residency will commence and the crazy hardcore writing will begin. I know I said I'd have a follow up blog to go with "The Moving Story," but I decided to just make that "The House" instead since I had a lot to say. After all that, there's still been some more to do and we still have to get up some leaves and do some planting to make the place look brighter and more chipper than it does. It's not too bad a house - it just needs a LOT of work. And a whole new kitchen because that thing sucks. The kitchens some of you guys had in your apartments were better than this one.

Anyway, enjoy reading those - I have to go get dressed.

Oh! Holy crap I totally forgot! I never mentioned how I chopped all my hair off finally. Ok.

I'd decided to cut it in April, and the plan was to go mega short, something I haven't done in years, and last time it wasn't done that well. If you remember how short my hair was that one year at Ryan's party at his, Nate's, and Matt's apartment, you already have a general idea of how short I planned to go. It had been in the works for...well, forever. I hadn't done much to my hair except maybe trim it once back in school, so by the time April rolled around, my hair was long. Longer than I think it's ever been, or at least for a while. Fantastic to put up in a bun though, so I started doing that a lot. When down, it was getting to be just above my hips, so I didn't leave it down all that much, mostly because I wasn't too keen on looking like a hippy girl (because I kinda do, much to my annoyance).

What I wanted to do with my short hair was to just say "Fuck it" and be bold and try out what my sister had suggested several years back and I was too iffy and "Oh I don't know" to do it. Cut it short - chin length - give it some layers, and flip it out. Good plan. What's more, one day back when my dad was still actually living with us in Rantoul, we stopped by the barber shop so he could get a trim and one of the ladies there askd if I as geting my hair cut. I said no, but she said when I did, I should donate it to Locks of Love. Ok, I'm game. Got all this hair, might as well do something productive with it.

So when April finally rolled around, about the mid-point of the month on a Saturday, I moseyed on in to a little hair place and explained what I wanted. For some reason, everyone there went all psycho when I cut my hair off. Even two girls that came in later saw it and went into shock or something, and they kept saying, "But why would you do that? Why would you cut off all your hair?" Um, because it's been long for WAY too long and I want it gone ok? They acted like hair doesn't grow back and I was doomed to have short hair for the rest of eternity. It was weird. So the hair dresser is just snipping away and afte a while I start to get a little panicky, like, "Umm...how much is she gonna take off??" but finally she stopped. Now I specifically said "flipped out" as in, take a curling iron and make it flipped out. Duh. I don't know what she's thinking but when I looked in the mirror I was basically thinking, "So totally not what I want - and I reeeeeelly hope I can get my hair to do what I want or I'm going to be kind of bummed." Even if my hair didn't turn out exactly the way I planned, I wasn't going to be super bent out of shape because, after all, hair does grow back so it's no big deal.

I took my hair and went home (I have a picture of me with my hair, so you get to see how much I cut off - over 12 inches - and what that woman did to my hair), and the next day when I had to go to work, I took a curling iron to my hair and voila! Sheer awesomeness. No, really, I looked awesome. It was one of those days where things just go right. And thus did I skip into work and have everyone immediately telling me how great my hair was. Score. And it was good too because you know if people flatline before telling you it's good, that means it's either not that great or just plain crappy, but instant approval is a positive thing. I have another picture of me with good hair by my car, so when they're all developed, I'll post them, along with the cakes my mom and I decorated (we took a cake decorating class at Michaels if you recall). My first cake is super-fantastic, and you'll soon see why (it's done in typical Nicole style).

So yeah, at least I look good. =P Ok, now I'm going to go get dressed! Toodles!

I have been eating an unhealthy amount of these...

After Dying

2007-06-01T17:09:00.000-05:00

Before today I have never known how bad some women might have it when it comes to that particular less-than-magical time of the month.

Men often snort at things like PMS, saying it’s just an excuse we women use to be angry or, as the more common word is, bitchy. Pre-Menstrual Syndrome is something I’ve never particularly encountered myself. I don’t get cranky or out of sorts before it happens, but I’m not going to say some women don’t have that problem because I’m sure they do. No woman is the same as the other, so to say we make some of this stuff up (granted, I don’t think PMDD is real, or at least, wasn’t until someone decided it should be – more pills to push and $$ to get) will annoy many women. Frankly, I always want to slap any guy in the face who says, “What’s wrong? PMSing?” when I’m cranky one day for the simple fact that I have never in my life used PMS as an excuse to be bitchy or emotional, especially since I’ve never had it.

But today, and as much as I’m sure all of you want to know this, I’ve been struck down with the worst cramps in the history of my life. No joke. I mean, come on, all of us girls have probably had some shitty God-this-sucks cramps, but this was a whole new deal for me. Guys, you wouldn’t understand just how much our uterus can fuck us up, and I won’t go into details, suffice to say that I couldn’t even eat a whole lunch without thinking I might upchuck it back into existence, thinking maybe I was actually sick with something and had a fever due to body temperature changes, and essentially bedridden from the time I showered (maybe 10 or 11) until a little after 2pm. After my so-called lunch I crawled under the covers praying for sleep in order to avoid the very unhappy knotting of muscles and wake up when it was over (which thankfully happened). I’d taken 3 Advil when normally just 1 or 2 will suffice. Normally I go about my day and people are none the wiser, even if the cramps are somewhat ugly (I went car shopping for my current car – so glad Nick had heated seats).

Usually things are good to go after the first mean day. Guys don’t like to talk about it, or hear about it, something I find a bit interesting. Perhaps the idea ruins their image of us in some manner. They like to pretend it doesn’t exist or at least ignore it as much as possible. Not so say that we wouldn’t like to do that either, but we aren’t quite able and it would be for completely different reasons. Guys freak out and say it’s gross. Well I guess it is, but it’s still a natural part of us so you might as well get used to it. Basically just our body’s way of saying, “No baby this time around!” (hah, thank God – no offence to you moms out there). I still like my sister’s saying because it’s quite true. Even if we don’t get all wiggy from PMS, we can still be wiggy during those 5-7 days dealing with this annoying crap:

“If you bled for 7 days straight and didn’t die, you’d go nuts too.”

I know, this has nothing to do with moving, I doubt stress was involved with making things worse because I haven’t really been stressing (quite the opposite as I’ve found some music to assuage me). Yes, The Moving Story is in the middle of being written, though it isn’t all that magical except for the part about one car blowing up (“What?!” you say? Yes, but we’ll get to that soon) as well as the actual house itself. Maybe if we have spare film on dad’s camera I’ll take some pictures of my room and the non-shitty parts of the house so you guys can see what it looks like.

Right now I’m going to go find dad’s stethoscope and see if those really are carpenter ants in Ashley’s wall scrabbling around, or if they’re wood bees. (I have my money on the ants – I think that guy doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about).

Oh yeah, and by the way...

House centipedes are fucking creepy.

WARGH!

2007-04-13T13:04:00.000-05:00

Aaannnd we're back!

Welcome once again to Nicole's blog where you can find out basically anything you want about her life and brains just by reading through it. Of course you're still missing out on a few essential pieces of her mind (aka the crazy, semi-psychotic part that mulls over ways to kill people while walking through the park), but that's not important!

What is important is that a lot has gone down since the last post, which I don't even remember was about. *looks it up* Ok, so yeah, Kohl's. *shrug* Your basic retail except we recently installed new touchscreen registers so you get to look at one screen while I ring up your crap and poke at the other screen. It looks nice, but it'll take a little getting used to even though it is pretty much like the other registers. I don't mind all that much ringing crap up, it's just that when it's busy and I'm one of two people on the floor in the entire women's section, clothes from the fitting room pile up and clearance racks get all sorts of messed up, so then things get backed up there which lead to everyone staying later than necessary to clean it all up. Whoever in the Kohl's corporation area decided this was the best tactic is a dumbass and apparently has never worked a busy Kohl's floor. That's right pal - you suck at life. By the way, if you are one of those people who leave all of your 50 articles of clothing in the fitting room like you had some kind of clothes fiesta - stop. Just stop. And don't tell me if you are, otherwise I'll show up when you're least expecting it and punch you in the face. I could go on and on with this subject, but I'll leave that for an Epinions rant and suffice to say that people who say, "But Nicole, it's your job" don't take into account busy Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays when it becomes a numbers game. 50 people take in 5 pieces of clothing each - and that's a random selection of numbers using 1 fitting room. Most people take in oh, I dunno, 10-20 pieces of clothing? Cartfuls. Anyway, one person can only do so much.

Moving on and away from the job, I make up for my lack of full time (because they schedule me around 34 hours a week because they're too damn cheap to afford full time or just don't want to. Whatever) by the article writing. Of course, Kohl's gets in the way, but I do the other junk too, Epinions and surveys and whatnot. Maybe it doesn't exactly make up for full time, but it's something.

I've eaten way too much candy but I don't care. Mom and I are taking a cake decorating class at Michael's so that means I'm eating way too much frosting (aka Crisco and powdered sugar) and cake, but I don't much care about that either. I have, however, decided never to buy a chocolate fountain because doing so will mean an early death from overeating. There was one at work a few days before Easter and I might as well have injected pure chocolate into my veins. Rice crispy treats in melted milk chocolate are AWESOME by the way.

On to the serious stuff. It's official - Nicole is moving. Far, far away. That's right. The house is sold and we're going to be out of here by May 18th. See? Mah House

But what about graduate school? Ah, that too has been taken care of. Out of the 5 schools I applied to, 1 said no, 3 said yes, and the other one dropped off the face of the planet. Don't know what their deal is, but I've made my decision. I will be going to Seton Hill University, a smaller university but it has a nice program and a nice little town, though where exactly I'm going to be living is still somewhat up for grabs. It will take me 2 years to get my Master degree, and hopefully by then I'll have something ready to knock down the publishing doors or another plan in mind. I'm not working in retail the rest of my life.

And, well, that's the news. Aside from smaller things such as baby rabbits living in my backyard, mom and I trying to get rid of as much junk as we can before moving, me wanting to go shopping SUPER bad, the dog not getting any more canned food because of the recall, my car about to get its first oil change and official washing since buying it, me having to fill out financial aid pronto, and new Stargates airing tonight (those bastards killed off my Scottish man!), I think that's about all there is in life right now. I'll try to get in one more bloggy before we go. Wish me luck!

(By the way, who else saw 300? Eh, eh?? How awesome was that movie??)

WAY too much sugar...

Dragging On

2007-02-28T16:26:00.000-06:00

As the world turns...life continues. Quite dull, actually. My mood matches nicely with the weather.

I finally have a job at Kohl's. I'm not all that excited because it means more retail, and not just retail this time, but I have to work the register when necessary. *pukes* I had a goal in life to avoid learning how to use a register. Mostly because that's where people get bitchy the most. Hopefully I won't have to deal with that much crap - I'm going to hide out in the clothes as much as possible and just do my thing. Leave me alone - I only have this job so I can pay my school bills. I don't care about the company the way you want me to and I'm not staying here forever, I can guarentee you that.

That's pretty much my only saving grace. That I'm not going to be here forever. 3-4 months at most, after that I'm out of here. End of story. This house needs to get sold or even mom will go insane from being here too long. Besides, I still have a trump card up my sleeve that few people know about, mostly because...well I don't really have a reason for not presenting it, I just don't want to go flaunting around when there's the possibility something better might come along.

But I'm being cryptic again. Sorry. Anyway, I've been training on their little computer and today I have to go in from 5-10:30 and I guess I'll just be playing around in the department all day. Which is fine. We haven't learned to use the registers yet so yay on that. I feel like some stupid kid because I have to go through all this training. *rolls eyes* I know how to put clothes back on racks, I know how to fold shirts and pants and size them and blah blah blah. Been there, done that. *snort* But whatever. I'm getting paid to do all this training crap so whatever. Put it on my bill. Working here does mean I need a few more pairs of pants though, which is kind of annoying. I don't like buying stuff if I don't super-need it (as you are all aware). Which is why I'll try and find pants I can use all the time. Don't usually waltz around in black slacks, but I figure I might as well get a pair since there are times when I think, "Hmm, I could really use a pair of nice black pants..."

*sigh* I'm tired. And tomorrow mom is going to PA to visit dad and she'll be there until the 18th. So I'll be head of the house, taking Ashley to school every morning and then going to work whenever they schedule me at night, going to the grocery for food etc. etc. 2007 has been good so far, but I'm ready for some sunshine. The snow was fun, but it melted pretty fast and now it's just gross out. Piles of frozen over snow and the weather somewhere between ice and rain. Yuck. There are times when I don't mind it here, but others I get bummed. I like the open space and I like my immediate living area (riding my bike to the lake, library, etc.) and the mall is nice (except Vanity is now gone so if I'm that hard up for a pair of jeans I might go to Bloomington to get them...), but I miss my trees. I want the mountains. I want some hills and some quiet space and dammit I want something published.

It was nice to get comments on my last post. Good to know people are still reading this from time to time. Even if I am a loser and I don't email you back. Oi. 2.5 hours until I have to go. Ugh. I can feel my intestines crunching up...I seem to get an over-amount of internal anxiety even if I don't feel particularly anxious. I think it's just in anticipation of doing something I do not want to do. But at least now I can feel more productive and my dad can leave me alone about the job thing now and I won't be sucking life out of my family anymore (which basically just comes down to food - and electricity and water if you want to get really technical - even though I've been paying for everything of mine so far as it is aside from maybe one car insurance payment).

At least I get Friday off this week.

Arg.

Snow? Anyone?

2007-02-16T14:21:00.000-06:00

I hope you all have been having a lovely February. I know I have. *evil snicker*

I do feel bad for Sandra. I'm assuming Springfield and the surrounding areas have been hammered by as much snow as we have. If not, well then lucky, lucky you because you'd probably go nuts here.

Snow - The main topic is snow here. It's up to our mailbox. Shoveling it off the driveway twice has given me more exercise than the treadmill, which is beginning to break down. I don't mind driving on snow either. "But Nicole, you can slip on snow, blah blah blah, why don't you find it scary?" Uh, because at least I can freaking see? Big difference between snow and fog kids. At least when the snow isn't all blizzard style like it was on Tuesday. Then yeah, I'd be more nervous. Not being able to see was my downfall the first time. I don't care to repeat the incident. But driving in snow doesn't bother me at all; I'm surprisingly comfortable in my little blue Taurus even when it fusses around a bit in deeper areas. I don't really want to think about what the Kia would be like. That car and I never really got along together. But the Taurus and I, we're good buddies. So much so that I've begun to liken my parking skills to Sandra's. It's a pretty sweet deal. I'm getting her washed on Wednesday - a good wash to get off all that salt and dirt, though I've done what I could up until now keeping everything clean, using warm water to slosh off all that gross black slush I couldn't kick off.

But I loooove the snow. After 4 hours of sleep, 1-1 1/2 hours of shoveling the driveway, and little to no food (don't remember), I ran around and played in it for another hour or two. It's super-deep where the plow drove by and shoveled it all up into the yard (which is why it's so high at the mailbox...and I hope our house doesn't catch fire because the firemen are going to have major issues getting to the hydrant. Shouldn't there be some kind of ordinance for that?). Makes it easy to find rabbit tracks though. And the drive by our fence was maybe a foot or two short of being as tall as the fence, which made it really fun to clamber up and then tumble down on the other side. And you all wonder why I want to move to Colorado...it took a decent amount of restraint today not to go charging up a huge snow pile in the various parking lots I was in while mom and I putzed around town when Ashley was at class.

Job - Unreel Media, sucking articles out of me that I didn't know I had in me to produce. I'm not sure what the total is that I've made so far; I'd have to go check my database, but it's around $300 or so, soon to be more. With constant work I can keep up on bills and such no problemo. And constant work is easy to find, except I get really tired of staring at a computer screen for too long because if I'm not writing an article, I'm doing research about the subject first. And then if the client doesn't like the article, I have to rewrite them, which sucks but it's a part of the job. Customer's always right and all. Still, I've only had that happen a grand total of 2 times, both of which were not my fault. One was because the description offered misinformed almost all of us writers out there, and the other because I was never given all the information, only 1/3 of it.

Mom is going to quit her job in a few days. Walgreens isn't the place for her. She's not a careerwoman. Never was. She's admitted this to me and it makes sense. I mean, she didn't finish college, got married, had kids, so she's been housewifey ever since. I think a lot of dad's "strong woman" sense for us got translated into her and since then it's been a big jumble. I kinda wish they'd see someone that could act as an impartial moderator just so they could get this out and clear up some stuff. Not that they're fighting or anything like that. It just bugs me when someone says "Blah blah" and the other person says "Yadda yadda" and when I try to say "Well yeah, but you see," it doesn't go over in translation and together I don't see them sitting quietly and letting one another finish. Someone always has to say something. Most of the time it's dad. He's a stubborn dude. It's like once he gets something into his head in a certain way, it takes a major move to get it to change. He's all, "Well, if mom would have stayed in school, she could have gotten a better job," and while I've been agreeing, the latest development of information makes a big change. Mom doesn't want a job. She wants to be here, being housewifey. Not like slave housewifey, but happy oldschool housewifey letting the guy do the breadwinning since she's not cut out for this new age careerwoman junk.

I don't scoff at the housewife idea. Sometimes I wonder if Sandra thought I was when she talked about just getting married, having kids, and all that jazz. It's not the stay-at-home-housewife/mom thing I scoff at. By all means, if the guy would like me to be at home and I'm totally cool with it, he can go ahead and do the work thing while I take care of housework. I don't have a problem with the whole feminism movement stuff, but sometimes I think they take it overboard a bit. I'm not going to be drafted, and I'm not going into the army. Why? Because I don't belong there. Period. If someone wants to be a stay at home mom, don't think they're a loser or that they're reverting back to the 1950s because, duh, that's not how it is.

Besides, there aren't any fantastic jobs in the Champaign area anyway. I'm calling Kohl's tomorrow about an interview on Monday. Oh joy of joys. More retail BS. Whatever.

Life - I've won 4 times in a row at Epinions.com. Score for me. I think it's a record. I don't think I'll get any more for a bit though. Very few entries into January's contest, and none for February's. No matter though, I didn't like February's contest. A good review in 500 words? that's no fun. Too short.

On the same page, I am now Top Reviewer and Advisor for the categories of Books and Movies. Whoohoo! Go me! Wasn't expecting the Advisor hats, just wanted the Top Reviewer in Books, but hey, no problems with either one. I'll be bummed if I screw up and lose them, but it's difficult to know if you're meeting the criteria or not as they keep that hidden from you to keep people from gaming the system. Makes perfect sense. Having these extra hats gives me a bit of extra dough too. To me it's a substantial amount; I've jumped from around $20-some to almost $40. Yet more incentive to keep the hats. It's fun though. I feel all mentory even if I am new to the job and others have been there much longer than me. I do what I can, even if I do still feel a bit newbie-like after almost 4 years. I know, I know, what's it gonna take? I don't know. Maybe a Meet & Greet, or a newbie reviewer getting angry at me for a rating I left. That seems to be the one thing I've not experienced on the site and eveyrone else has. Maybe I feel left out of the loop? Mising a rite of passage? Maybe I'm just weird. Who knows. I've always had a thing about being an expert vs. some chick who doesn't know all her stuff. I like to be an expert whenever possible before I go trouncing about doing stuff. And again, I know; I'm weird.

Other than that, life is good. Snow makes me happy, PayPal got me my money back, I've finally sold off all those Fear Street books (it's weird not having them on my shelf anymore), I have at least some way of making myself some money, Epinions is my buddy (I think I'm in an unofficial race to 600 reviews now...), I've finished the second season of Lost (finally - Stacey will be happy to hear it), and aside from the Carson Beckett thing, I'm pretty happy. Hoorah.

Hope you had a happy Valentine's Day! BWAHAHAHAHA! (actually I don't hate Valentine's Day - I just think it's overhyped. I do think this picture is awesome though.)

Party on Nicole’s Dime

2007-01-13T18:45:00.000-06:00

Ok, so not really, but that’s just the title that came to mind.

So what’s been happening in the strange, never-ending world of mine now?

Ah where to start.

I left off on December 18th, all sorts of stuff ending and starting, etc. etc. I’d done some mild job hunting, but planned to go all out once the holidays were over since I knew it would be pretty useless to take on a holiday job when I knew I wouldn’t even be there for the holidays. Besides, I wanted to have the time to spend with my dad since he was coming back from Pennsylvania, even if it just meant doing nothing on a couch all day. Gotta soak up what dad time I could get, you know?

I did plenty of scrambling before his arrival to deal with graduate schools. I literally combed through every Pennsylvania school and finally sent material out to five of them. Pennsylvania State University, Slippery Rock University, Wilkes University, Seton Hill University, and Rosemont College. *whew* Now that was over with. Nothing more to do but wait.

After a wonky Christmas that saw us opening presents the night of the 23rd, leaving for Carbondale and Arkansas the afternoon of the 24th, picking up Stacey and then over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we went.

Here we are – the short, short version. On the road while watching Batman Begins on Stacey’s laptop and eating a piece of her homemade cheesecake (interesting to do in a moving vehicle…), getting to grandma and grandpa’s around 10 or 11 at night, having to leave the dog in the car since they won’t let her in the house (Stacey and I donating our coats for her to snuggle in), Christmas feast the next day, plenty of Lost since Stacey brought it for me to watch, ham feast the next day, feeling like a stuffed turkey myself, lots more Lost, poor doggy is miserable out in their garage, even if it is warmer than the car, and finally we go home on the 27th.

Skip over New Year’s Eve and move right on in to 2007.

Ok, moving on to the up-to-date stuff.

Two days after dad left, an ugly rainy day, I hopped into my orange candy (the scent is going away actually…awww) car and drove to Champaign for the specific purpose of getting a ton of applications and applying for a tons of jobs at once. After hitting up numerous stores and only filling out a total of 3 paper applications (two of which were downloaded from websites) and being told by the rest that the only way to apply is online (puke), I pop by the bank, give Champaign the bird, and roll on home. It’s at the computer I do most of my applying, even going so far as to go back to Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com to poke around, tallying up a total of this:

Sears
JCPenny
Bergner’s
Barnes & Noble
Macy’s (2 positions)
Petsmart (2 positions – yes, I applied here, shut up)
Pages for All Ages
Michael’s
Borders
The Banfield Animal Hospital

At Barnes & Noble when I popped by, one girl sort of gave me a weird kind of mini-interview on my way out. No idea what it was, but it never came to anything. Maybe she was looking for something different than what I applied for, I don’t know. I didn’t apply to Dick’s because they were out of paper applications (and they’re never out of paper applications) and I found later that you can’t apply online for most store positions. I take this was God’s way of telling me not to work there anymore. I also sent in an application to a little sports company that just moved here in Rantoul and is looking for someone for office work. I was all over that like a bear on honey (num!).

I had two interviews this week. One was at Sears on Monday and another with Hayden Athletics (the lil Rantoul place – it’s actually right down the road, which means working there would be extra sweet; an office job and it’s like, 4 or 5 miles away? Kickass) Friday morning. Well, the Sears one was…well, I’ll just leave it at “weird.” Also unfulfilling as I guess I applied just a tad too late and the positions were all filled. The human resources woman said she would chat with the higher up guy to see what he had and would let him see my application, but as they haven’t gotten back to me, I’m just going with “it’s not gonna happen.” Fine by me. In my heart of hearts I didn’t want to work there anyway. I know, I know, I need a freakin’ job but the idea of doing retail again just really turns me off. Not so much the retail part, but mostly because my resume just looks like one big happy retail party and I want some variety on there. The Hayden Athletics, well, I’d sign up with them in a heartbeat. They sell sports goodies to colleges and high schools, and I think I got extra points with them since I was with Dick’s and went to Rantoul’s high school and live, like, around the corner. I know I looked good anyway; swingin’ makeup, clicky heels and my hair so nice and long now it makes a fabulous bun.

Go me.

In the meantime, we’re having an open house on Sunday so strange people can mosey in and out and eat the cookies we make for them. Though if it’s true that people don’t like to look at houses in adverse weather (had someone scheduled for today, and after working my ass off to get the house spic and span, they called and canceled while I was in the middle of vacuuming downstairs – it was raining today and the weather claims the weekend will = ice storm), then maybe that just means cookies for us.

Currently, while overall I’m in a good and decent mood, I would like for eBay and PayPal have their buildings go down in a fiery inferno – with no one in it of course. I just hate both of them right now. See, I won a $100 eBay gift certificate (link to that story coming at the end) and mom wants the entire Sex and the City series. Yeah, the whole shebang – something Sandra would drool over (and I don’t find to shabby either), and since I have no idea what to do with the certificate, I thought “Meh, ok, I’ll use that to buy it for mom’s birthday and get Stacey and dad to pay the rest.” Good plan, right?

In theory, sure. Just don’t buy anything on eBay Express with a gift certificate. You see, I read the instructions on the certificate and followed them. Except when it came to the part about redeeming it during checkout, that never came up and I ended up paying all $152.94. O-kaaay… This is where I get angry. So I emailed PayPal with a patient, mild, “Wtf is up with that?” letter. I got a response several days later (fuckers take forever to respond – high email volume and all thtat – except maybe if their service wasn’t shit, they wouldn’t have that problem) that sounded like it might be handy (I later realized it wasn’t in any shape or form), but I needed more info so I emailed them again. That’s when I basically got the “Yer fucked girly” email and hence, got kinda pissed.

Ebay Express has no redeem option and there isn’t any way for me to use my certificate. I finally came to that realization today. The seller has the money and there’s no way to effectively refund $100 of my money in trade for the goddamn gift certificate. I don’t know what the fuck else to buy, and frankly, I don’t really want to use eBay’s service anymore because they suck so much. I’ve just heard too many stories on how eBay and PayPal blow to make me comfortable trying to use it again. I guess it only works on eBay, but now I’m wary about trying to buy something else, lest I get fucked again. I hate the bidding shit, which is why I went to Express in the first place – no bidding and good prices and brand new stuff. Fuckers. So yeah, this makes me happy and I sent eBay Express a mildly pissed “You need to get your shit together” email the day before yesterday, and today was when it finally sank in that uh, yeah, I just paid $100 when I shouldn’t have because these dumb-asses neglected to put in a redeem method. Therefore today I sent them a “You assholes owe me $100” email and made sure to add on “if there isn’t anything you’re willing to do, don’t even bother replying because I’m sick of hearing empty apologies.” I opted to go for the non-swearing email, even though I’d like nothing more than to set their building on fire right now.

It’s not even really so much the money as it is the “Oh yeah, by the way, you can’t use that here, hur hur,” while the poor consumer sits there all “Huh?” thing. That just annoys the hell out of me so I’m on a violent anti-eBay rampage now. Oh, and if the Sex and the City doesn’t get here by Monday, I’m gonna get really pissed.

At least I made a sale on Half.com.

A weird thing on a complete different topic is a letter I got from Wilkes University not too long ago. While it’s not an acceptance letter, it’s got PIN numbers and info for an email on it. I do not know what to make of this. Does that mean I’m in or does it give me the ability to find out my status when it comes to grad school processing? I finally looked around in it today and am no closer to the answer. It makes it look like I’ve been accepted, but there’s no acceptance letter – or email. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean and had to get off the computer before I went all crazy trying to figure it out. Whatever. I’ll just wait for the snail mail like I’m supposed to. No expectations whatsoever. I just write this off as them being weird for the moment.

But on to good things. There are some interesting good things, but as they all have to do with writing, I decided to put them in the other writing-specific blog here.

Self-explanatory I think.

The Rewind

2006-12-18T13:42:00.000-06:00

Where have I been?

Where haven’t I been?

Well, by now you should all know the story of the New Car, the final chapter in my wacky car dilemma. I’m only sorry I don’t have any pictures for you.

Thanksgiving was a good time, turkey, noodles, cranberry sauce and the like. Both Stacey and Nick came up. Of course, Nick is always poking Stacey and generally annoying her so she was scolding him half the time and then he would go get something to eat. He ate the last piece of our Sweet Potato Bourbon Bundt Cake. Yeah, mom and I made a cake with sweet potato and bourbon in it. It was on Martha Stewart and somehow I’ve found myself sucked in since mom watches it every day. But it’s not so bad – now when she gets people like Andy Dick on her show and they make total asses out of themselves and make Martha wonder why she invited them on in the first place. Hey, Hugh Jackman was on (mmmmm…) and Jeremy Irons was on the other day, and he was really cute.

Speaking of my things for English guys, I just have to say that two nights ago I had a weird dream where I was out in the desert with my family and we were trying to get somewhere, but had to avoid a sandstorm. Somehow I got separated from them and this one army guy (actually the actor Jason Scott Lee – yeah, no idea how he got in there) offered to take me to a base and was obviously hitting on me, and yet I declined. I declined a hot army guy in a freaking dream. How ridiculous am I? Except I didn’t think he was all that hot. On the other side of things, I watched a weird movie last night called Mirrormask and there was an English guy in it (actually I think they were all English, but moving on), and the entire movie he had this weird mask on – you couldn’t even see his eyes – but after the movie I started thinking, “You know, I’d choose the English guy because of his voice and personality over the buff American army dude. I’m so screwed up.” And then of course I laughed myself silly (as quietly as possible as it was almost 3am) and then finally went to sleep. I still think it’s pretty damn funny (and I’m sure the rest of you just think I’m nuts).

To get back on track, after Thanksgiving I started freaking out. Why? Well, I’d sort of given up on the job prospect thing. I bumped into a friend of mine, Christine, in the library (my newfound love), and we started chatting about life in general and how even she agreed the job market here sucks donkey. Good to know I’m not hallucinating. And poor Christine doesn’t even have a degree and has a child to support. Long story, but anyway, yeah. Champaign blows. Not a big surprise she too is trying to escape its evil clutches.

Anyway, I started freaking out because of grad school. I hadn’t done a thing on it and deadlines were looming ever closer. I needed to re-write a story and then create something entirely new. Something that isn’t my normal style because my normal style isn’t what the creative writing professors of big universities like to see. They like character oriented stuff. Basically, the stuff none of you would ever truly enjoy reading. But hey, whatever, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? I got out my notebook and started a piece. Ditched it. Started another. Ditched it. It was frustrating. I just couldn’t come up with anything I thought they would take in. Not good Mav. Not good.

Just as November was ending, it hit me and I started writing. It wasn’t the greatest of inspirations, and it didn’t get me going writing page after page in true excitement like I can get sometimes, but I took what I could get. I managed to get 14 pages (double-spaced) out of it. The ending still worries me a little, but there’s not much I can do about it. I put some subtle stuff in there and hopefully that’s what they’re looking for. Like I’ve said before – I don’t usually write this stuff. Not my bag of chips. Then I started on reworking an older story that if I didn’t send in, dad would have a cow because he thinks it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. Well, I don’t know about that, but I figured it was better than nothing (which was basically the only other option I had – nothing) so I dug in on an 5-year-old, 4 page story and gave it a face lift, tummy tuck, porcelain veneers, the works.

That was why I sort of found jury duty to be a blessing. Yep, Nicole had jury duty. In the middle of all my freakings out, December 4th – 8th was my call to duty. I was somewhat annoyed, and somewhat intrigued. Aside from my car crash issue, I’d never been in a courtroom while court was in session, much less on a jury. My only problem was that I had to wake up early every morning (depending on which days and what time they called my number). Early enough that I realized the last time I was up that early was when I was in high school. Ew. I never was a morning person. I can go all night but wake me up at 6am and I might kill you. Then again I might be to sluggish and out of it to do much of anything.

9:15 am on December 4th, we’re there for an hour and then get to leave, but have to come back by 1. Joy. I decide to go home because like an idiot, I didn’t bring anything to read, and besides, I’m getting hungry. Normally I can skip breakfast, but that early I have to eat something, but even then it won’t sustain me past lunch. Normally if I do eat breakfast instead of skipping it, I can go ahead and skip lunch. Either way, at most I only eat two meals a day. So I mosey on home, eat something, get my huge book to read about The Vampire Lestat (did the Interview with the Vampire already) and then scooted back out to the courthouse and sat around for an hour. Or two. Finally they called nearly every juror in the room and we all went down to a courtroom where some schmuck was going to be tried for intent to sell crack-cocaine. Good times.

Or at least, it might have been good times because that lawyer woman for the state had about 20 questions for each juror and they were all the same 99% of the time. Why couldn’t she just ask four people at a time in a group like the judge did with all his general questions and then let the person elaborate if need be? Ugh. It was really annoying after a while. Some guy and I started whispering to each other and in general, being kind of dumb. We were there until at least 4:30, then they finally had their full jury (I didn’t even get called up, so I sat there fidgeting – I must have looked like I had ADD), and we got to go home. Next day I had to be there even earlier – 8:30am. Oh joy. And did I mention this was the week that was super-dee-duper cold outside? Brr. But oh well.

That’s the day I brought my notebook and the story and dove on in. That’s also the day I got picked to possibly be on a jury again, and guess what? Boo-yah. I made it. It was interesting. I think I was the youngest there aside from the U of I chemistry graduate student. So 14 of us were in a little room half the time, after a while we started talking and making dumb jokes and naturally every 7 minutes we all flatlined and got quiet. Haha. I did more work on my story until finally we were called into the courtroom and they started. It was almost like the same case; trying to prove this guy was intending to sell crack-cocaine. They also sounded like there were going to be charges of domestic battery or something, but that must have been dropped because the chick never showed up. The funny thing is, all this stuff went down in Rantoul. Probably across the town where I don’t go cuz there’s nothing there. *shrug* Anyway, they called in a bunch of cops (dude, I never knew Rantoul cops were that BIG. I mean, good lord. One guy, Lt. Stuckmeyer – that guy was huge. One smack to the face and you’d be on the floor. Yikes) and they did their little question answer testifying thing, and eventually the defendant got up there, yadda yadda. Basically the state was trying to prove he was planning on selling the stash the cops found in his pocket. His appointed lawyer was saying sure, he was a user, but he wasn’t going to sell it.

Well, after they all did their little courtroom circus thing, we went to the back to deliberate. Heh, I kept thinking of 12 Angry Men. There were three options we could pick: Not Guilty, Guilty of Possession, and Guilty of Possession and Intent to Distribute. The first vote was 6 and 6. Sure, he had a fair amount of stuff on him, but they just didn’t have enough evidence (by far, trust me) to prove this dude was going to start doling out crack. Sure, I’m gonna be like “fuck” if I ever were to find out he really was selling it, but I really don’t think he was going to. So we chatted about it some more, evidence, reasonable doubt, etc. and then took another vote. This time it was unanimous – Guilty of Possession. End of story. Besides, you get some kind of time just for having crack, right? Better than nothing anyway. Ok. Guilty. End of trial. Adjourned.

The next day I had to come back yet again, but after an hour or so they let us go, picking another group and then not needing us. Same happened on Thursday as well. I bumped into the chemistry grad and he said now that he’d made it four days, he figured he might as well go for all five and get the full amount of money out of it. I agreed. Then, after several hours and my flourish of a finish on my story, the lady came in to tell us that our trial went bye-bye and we could go home. Of course, then Friday rolled around and they didn’t need our number half. Go figure. Jury duty adjourned.

Now, during all this grad school, jury duty nonsense, my review website, Epinions.com, is hosting a huge sweepstakes. Normally, each month they host a contest where if you write the first Very Helpful review on a product, you can enter it into the drawing and win whatever one of the prizes happen to be. Since the very end of September, I started re-reading all my Fear Street books by R.L. Stine, and it’s because of him (as no one save maybe 3 people) that I’ve had so many first reviews. I won 1st place in September and then 3rd place in October. I’d like to win November too, ($100 Target or Best Buy card) but I don’t want to get greedy. Especially after Friday. You see, Epinions suddenly had buku bucks to give out. $1000 on Monday. 5 prizes of $100 on Tuesday-Thursday. And Friday was 10 prizes of $100, 1 prize of $500, and 1 prize of $1000. Can you guess which prize I won? $100? Noooo… The $500? Noooo….!

That’s right. Nicole just won $1000. Boo-yah! I knew these Fear Street books would come in handy someday. Ok, I didn’t, but when I’m done reading them they’re going to Ebay. But I can win yet again either this week or next week too. So I’m still reading. It’s fun to see other people I interact with on the site win too. So it’s a Christmas giveaway bonanza on there. It’s just too bad they aren’t doing the bonus thing this year – I’ll be bummed for some people who didn’t win anything and deserve a little something extra. Oh well. Not much I can do about that.

So that money is going toward grad school stuff, car stuff, loan stuff. And now maybe I can slip a few presents under the tree. And now we’re finally all caught up. I need to send out the last few items to grad schools, pay my recent loan bill, car insurance bill, eventual credit card bill (which only has maybe $28 worth of gas on it), and hopefully if that girl is able to get Ebay to stop being a bitch, I’ll sell the rest of my MK stuff and send that out too. Then I’ll be free and clear of worry for a while so when we go to Arkansas to visit our grandma and grandpa for Christmas I can kick back.

That’s my story. Hope all of you are having good times, that those of you who want snow are getting some, those of you that think snow sucks are getting what we’re getting here (a lot of nuthin’ and a lot of rain), and may all your Christmases be bright.

Till next time peoples! =D

Merry Christmas!

Please Stand By

2006-12-06T17:32:00.000-06:00

I am alive. I do exist. I am not a figment of your imagination.

I lead a very odd life. The rest of you have jobs, are still in school, have definite plans.

I, on the other hand, uh...lead a very odd life.

Please stand by, as I will give you a large update as well as complete the Corn and Cars story, possibly when I have plenty of free time to spare, but if not, then definitely once January rolls around.

*cue white noise*

I Have Been Diagnosed With CCC - Which Means I Am CI

2006-11-02T20:50:00.000-06:00

I have been diagnosed with Creepy Car Curse - which means I am Car Impaired.

"So what kind of car karma do you have that this keeps happening?"

That's what my mom asked me today on our way back from Champaign. You see, I visited Carsoup the other day and found a 2000 Pontiac Sunfire SE for $4800 with 71,000 miles on it. Sounds great right? That's what I thought. I'd done the research and everything. So we went over to the house today to check it out. The guy who owns it is in Florida right now going to school, so we dealt with his mom. Nice lady. Very pleasant. I took it for a spin, enjoyed, everything worked nicely, she had all the paperwork that he'd kept in a file, from oil changes, to the work that was done when he was rear-ended. No real need for a Carfax because everything was right there. Even the date he'd last rotated his tires. Obviously a kid who takes care of his baby. This is a good thing.

The problem is that when we said, "Yay, we'll go ahead and take the car," she called him up to find out the best way to handle the transaction since he still had payments to make on the car and all that jazz. This is where my bad car karma (or Creepy Car Curse) kicks in. Turns out he just gets accepted for some internship and decides he no longer wants to sell the car. According to him, he'll need it down there in Florida (though why he didn't just take it down there in the first place is beyond me) and can't sell it to me. He's coming up in a couple of weeks and plans to take it back with him.

Yeah. W t f.

His mom is embarrassed and I wouldn't be surprised if she called him back after we left to give him a piece of her mind. She made him tell me himself that he couldn't sell it and said later in a terse voice, "Well could you please take it off Carsoup then?"

I want to kill myself.

Actually I don't, it's jus too ironic for me to even be pissed about. I know you might think I'm making this up or that I say this kind of stuff all the time, but another reason I'm not even mad or even horrifically surprised is because in some way I sort of saw this coming. Not that the kid would call up and reneg, but that something weird would happen and I wouldn't get the car. Like it was too good to be true or something. I don't know. I never have normal stories.

I'm starting to really get weirded out by all my car failure though. First the Tracker. Then the Kia. Then the Focus. I could include the Sentra, but that's sort of iffy. And now the Sunfire. Something is really wrong here. I may sound a little overdramatic but it tugs at me. Too weird to ignore. That's why the idea of possibly going down to visit Nick to have him help me search scares me. Not the going down there part, not the search part, but the driving back up part. Like maybe something would happen that would take that car away from me too. Maybe I'm paranoid, I don't know, but it freaks me out. It's not even the long drive thought, it's like a specific "something happening" thought. I can't explain it. You can all just think I'm weird. But I don't freak out when I drive mom's car. Granted, I'm still paranoid, checking and double checking and sometimes triple checking the road before I turn, being anal about speed limits (well sort of - I never go faster than 5 miles over the limit), stuff like that. But again, I dunno.

Another weird story for you to chew on, discuss. Does someone upstairs really have a plan for me that involves a lack of a vehicle? Or is this just a really weird, weird string of abnormal coincidences?

You tell me, because I have no fraking clue.

The car that was not to be.

Must...Resist...Halloween...Candy...!

2006-10-29T17:36:00.000-06:00

Yeah. That's the best title I can come up with.

Here I am again. Here's the deal with the car situation for those of you who may be curious. I never have normal stories...

During the days of October 18th through October 22nd, my mom flew off to Pennsylvania to visit my dad, who did a good job of tending to her every need and jumping at probably every call and beckon she had. That's a good thing considering I was worried he might not do so, the end result being mom possibly turning into the Exorcist and wacking out on him. And without me to save him, well, who knows how that might have turned out.

But to get back on topic. I test drove a little 2000 black Ford Focus. Small. Zippy. Something I can grand theft auto (I use that as an adjective and a verb now, I suggest you try it) and be happy with. It had 91,000 miles on it and was well within my price range. I was happy. I did research on it. The 2000's seem to have had several recalls and some issues, but I liked to think by this point in time, 2006, the main issues had been taken care of. Either way, I planned on Carfaxing it up and going from there, but the bottom line is that I wanted the keys in my pocket and I could be done with this car searching crap.

Saturday the 21st, the day before mom is to come home, my car guy calls in the morning and the conversation went pretty much like this:

"Nicole, guess what? You know that Ford Focus?" The tone in his voice was not a good thing.
".....Yeeaaaah...?" Except I pretty much already knew and was hoping by some act of God he wouldn't say it.
"...It got sold."
Inside my head I go a little ballistic.
"Well, you know, you snooze you lose-"
That's where I cut him off, at the same time managing to keep most of my slowly building rage out of my voice, or at least to a decent minimum. "What? It's not my fault! I don't have the money! I couldn't pay for it right then, my mom is out of town! She's in Pennsylvania! And she has to be there to sign it too in order for the insurance to cover the taxes!" Of course, he knows all this, but I wanted to throw it at him again just in case he forgot or something...

Anyway, the conversation went on a little more, mostly with him talking and saying stuff like, "Well, we couldn't very well not sell it, you know?" and me sort of shutting down and grinding my teeth lest I throw the phone through the window or bark at him or something equally wacky. I do a lot of grumbling. "Nicoooole...you're not smiling...I can tell." Yeah, no shit Sherlock. Of course I'm not smiling. You sold the car I freaking wanted. I wasn't going to smile for him - I really didn't give a shit. So I snorted instead. I did, I really did. He took it as me falling asleep and thought it was funny when I just wanted to hang up the phone and kill something. It was a mix of getting screwed out of yet another car that I wanted, and the fact that now this whole car business had to go on for longer, and time was running out on the insurance-tax thing. So I hung up the phone and because the punching bag wasn't hung up I kicked it, got on the treadmill, and was on there for another 4 miles. When I got off I elbowed the bag a few times and kicked it a couple more. What I really wanted to do was break something, just for the satisfaction of shattering something, doing destruction.

I'm beginning to think I have unrequited rage.

So I've driven at least 6 cars that I can remember in the past however many days. A Nissan, Chrysler, Dodge, Pontiac, Ford, Ford, and I've been picked up in a purple PT Cruiser. The Nissan was a 2001, Sentra, tan, and drove nice except it had 130,000 miles on it and the check engine light was on and no one knew why. Of course, I say I like that one and everyone is all over me like a flock of hungry geese trying to get me to buy it. But there's something about the milage that doesn't sit well with me. And I'm through with not trusting my gut. I've done it enough to realize that it's a bad idea, so I refuse to settle and get it. Call me stupid or whatever you want, but I won't do it. Besides, I've had plenty of my personal car boys telling me I can do better. I agree.

Onto the next weird stage in car searching - a few days ago I got a phone call from a different guy than my car guy. Fast-talking, no details over the phone (or at least he skipped around them), the guy that was made to sell cars. I'm not stupid. Everyone sees me and because I look younger than I really am, I'm a girl, and I have blonde hair, they think I'm a total idiot or will get all excited about a Sebring convertible, even if it's on a rebuilt title. ... Riiiiight. Boy was this guy a salesman. It was so painfully obvious. I wonder if I should have mentioned that my dad used to sell cars. I know how this crap works. Or at the very least, I know enough not to be a total idiot. I think I'm becoming a hassle to them, but I honestly don't care anymore. Drop me. It doesn't matter because the 30 days is up so the insurance isn't going to pay for any car taxes anyway. I could go on and on about these guys, pulling the exact stuff dad told me about, but I think I'm going to stop. All those dealers talk too much too. You get the idea.

I did another 4 miles today. I was flustered when I got home yesterday. I'm starting to consider limousine service, or maybe a horse. I told Nick to go ahead and have a party looking for a car down there because the choices are infinitely larger and better than up here. It's slim pickings up here. I've been to Kelly Blue Book, Edmunds, Autotrader, and Carsoup so many times I'm starting to confuse the cars I've looked at with the ones I haven't looked at.

To the next subject, Halloween is coming up, and everyone who remembers my dress from the first Charity Ball dance, yeah, I'm wearing that again. You've seen it several times actually - FOI, Charity Ball, Halloween (Rocky's baby, ohyeah!). I thought about getting pointy ears and getting all elvish, but I decided to be lazy and the Carnivale masks that are out there suck too, so I'll just get dolled up and dole out candy that way.

Oh, and the squirrels ate our pumpkin lid. Dad thinks it might be a rabbit or two, but I can't see them getting up onto the little table the pumpkin is on without tipping the pumpkin over while going for the lid. On the other hand, I don't see a squirrel hauling off the lid. It's hard to say. When we used to live in Champaign, squirrels would basically eat the entire pumpkin. I never knew until that point that squirrels enjoyed pumpkin. Which isn't fair because there's a house out in the country we pass by on our way to Champaign and they have 10 or so pumpkins hanging around and they're untouched. So he's a lidless pumpkin now.

Mom got Halloween candy yesterday. We've already started eating it. I have to restrain myself from going nuts on it, but I feel like Lula and need to freaking eat some. No, you know what? All this Stephanie Plum stuff, I want doughnuts like there is no tomorrow. I'm sure Sandra and Stacey can relate in some way. I mean, I want doughnuts. I have this loony craving for doughnuts now. But if you are any kind of Halloween candy passer-outer, you'll buy chocolate. Not that some of the hard candy isn't good, I enjoy butterscotch stuff and Smarties and bubble gum as much as the next girl, but it seems like everyone steadly began opting for the cheap-ass candy and no one gives out the good stuff anymore. Be kind to the kids on Halloween; give them real sugar. Currently we have a mix of different Snickers in the cauldron (yes, cauldron), Reese's cups, and Twix. We may have to buy more.

I guess this whole thing is long enough. I had to finally get on and say something. I feel better today after the 4 miles. Though I still need to get out of here. I've been doing nothing but reading, reviewing the stuff I've read, reviewed more stuff, eat, sleep, and watch the occassional television show. I'm starting to dream of when Christmas break rolls around and dad and I can go cross country skiiing in Colorado or something like that. I'm a little insane. Sure, I may not have shaved my legs in a week (ok, maybe longer), but I made up for that fact because they smell like strawberry daiquiri. My hair is super long and I probably won't cut it until spring, as is my normal fashion, and then I'm going to seriously chop it all off, go for layers, and curl it out so it looks super-cute.

Here are a few facts for you to chew on:

Fact: I'm on book #11 of the Stephanie Plum series

Fact: I've reviewed over 30 things this month; a flippin' record for me.

Fact: I'm going to read a K.I.S.S. Kama Sutra book in exchange for free ice cream. That's the deal - that guy in Alaska better come through with it.

Hellz Yeah Halloween Candy Rulez!

Irregularties & Weird Stuff

2006-10-11T19:11:00.000-05:00

Hmm. So my father reads my blog.

Just so you know I'm not changing anything. Heheh. I'm not going to completely censor myself simply because words in the English language don't bother me. They only have power that people want them to have.

Moving on...

Yes, I know. I haven't updated squat. Guess I'm lazy. Guess I don't think it really matters much. I don't know how many of you read this, or how many bother to look. I know a certain number of you do, though how well you comprehend it, I wonder. *lol* Anthony - I don't have a car anymore, how on Earth am I supposed to visit anytime? Do tell. =P

I thought I had a lot to say, but I'm getting lazy again and have been doing multiple things at once online, so naturally all the words I had in my brain eked out my ears and I'm left thinking about what I want to eat for dinner tonight. I'm leaning towards chicken pot pie. Mmm...that sounds good...

*ahem* I'm not working. I don't have a car. I'm looking for a car. My car salesman is supposed to call me and he's even offered to come get me. Said he got in some new trade-ins just recently. So far he hasn't called yet and I know I have three books at the library hanging out and I would like to go get them except I can't drive there (mom's at work with el car) and it is just too freaking cold for me to bother walking there. Bike? Mm, I could. I'd have to take dad's bike because I think the back tire in mine has just about had it. I hop on and look back and it's pretty much in the throes of "Aaaagghhaghghggguugh..." Not so great. Besides, like I said, it's cold. A wet fall day if I ever saw one. Freckles is still a bouncing pile of fur and feet and wants to go out even if it's raining. I'm beginning to wonder if she grasps the whole getting wet concept these days. She's going deaf - unless the possibility of her getting older and just deciding not to listen to us anymore is more likely. Never know with that kook.

So my main goal right now, aside from hoping that once I get a car I don't have any Stephanie Plum incidents, is to try and stay busy and feel productive. Having said that, I don't think I've read more books in a single month than I have in a long time. Maybe 7th grade. I'm going overboard on the Epinions because I earn a small amount of money there and doing this is the only way I can feel like I'm doing something as opposed to sitting on my ass watching TV, which I can't do anyway because it gets boring and there's never anything on. Instead I read. Or in the most recent case, re-read. Since I have to occasionally wait for a Stephanie Plum book to arrive at the library, I've decided to finally tackle the 57 Fear Street books hanging out on my closet shelf. I'll read them, review them, and then sell them all on Ebay. I've already managed to sell my MK stuff there, though being new to the system I got much less than I was wiling to sell for, but oh well. Now I'm selling all my starter kit stuff and I refuse to receive less than $100 for it. So yeah. Epinions up the wahzoo.

Right. I guess that's about it. I'm thinking my car guy isn't calling. I guess I should make some dinner, and I'll probably end up reading another Fear Street book tonight and filling my head with enough weird thoughts that I sleep like crap yet again. Gawd that sucks... I haven't had a good night's sleep for 4 or 5 days now. Keep tossing and turning. No clue why.

I want Halloween to hurry up and be here...

Oh, and who watched the UFC last night? Huh? Huh?? Probably just Derek. No big deal - just that it kicked ass is all. Haha. I love Tito. Got it all on tape too. Except I just did that since mom was working and so I recorded it for her because she likes UFC just like me. Stacey doesn't...I don't quite know why. She enjoyed Fight Club. I guess she just liked the concept of it but the actual idea of guys beating each other up freaks her out. *shrug* Your loss freako! Thanks to all for the birthday wishes, too. I was going to blog about that, but it was kind of depressing what with the court date and the fact that the icing we got for the cupcakes sucked butt. Who the hell knew there was gross icing out there? It's not like we bought weird icing, it was just white icing - how does that get screwed up? I need to buy myself more chocolate...

A review a day, if not more.

Where I've Been

2006-09-25T22:55:00.000-05:00

Indeed, where has Nicole been? What's she been doing? Why hasn't she updated anything?

In truth, I've been sitting on this story for a while. It happened starting September 14th, the ultimate culmination occuring 8am on the 15th. I wrote all this the 16th. I think it took me a while to post it because a part of me was waiting for this whole thing to be over (as in, the insurance guy fixes everything, I get whatever $$ they can give me, and walla, done), and another part just not ready to sing it to the world. I can't say why.

But anyway, here it is, without any further ado, why I've been absent, and what happened to me in Corn and Cars.

How Does Nicole Stay Sane?

2006-09-08T02:35:00.000-05:00

o.O

As I speak I'm looking at jobs online. The publication place never called back. In fact, I've called them twice. They say they're still looking. For what, I don't know. More people to interview I guess. So naturally I've had it with being patient (I mean, it's been three weeks) and I really want some kind of income, if anything just to make me feel better and productive, so I'm out looking. The thing is, I don't want to deal with people, or at least deal with them as little as possible. But you all already knew that. Yes, inevitable, says the world, like so many bad guys to the good guy. Smith and Neo come to mind, actually. Hmm. Anyway, I could go back to Dick's, easy as pie. But I really do want to do something different, even if it is just retail in another store. Gordman's comes to mind there. Or maybe Kohl's. Hmm. In reality the prospects are just really...they suck monkey butt is what they do.

I have a theory that there are places that don't want people with a college degree. Why? Duh, because then they think they can get away with paying you less. With a degree it's like you're stamped to get a decent amount of money, whereas say you only have a high school diploma, well, suddenly you're not so awesome now are you? And it's Champaign. The people here have this attitude like they rock out so hard core when in fact, uh, they don't. I might have mentioned all this before. I don't remember. My memory is going from all this nonsense I have to do. Online, offline, application here, application there, etc. etc. I threw up my hands today and just called an employment placement agency. The chick was obviously taking a look see in her computer (could hear the clicking of keyboardness) and started talking about picking corn. At first I thought, "Oh geez, honestly..." but then considered, "Well, I like being outside, doing my own thing away from masses of people and bitchy customers, and $8.50 an hour for pluckin' corn isn't too bad. I'm game." I am game. Unless Sandra emails me about the horrors of corn picking, in which case I might decide suddenly it doesn't sound so cool. But then again I'm not exactly normal - I'm not a city girl (hell no) but I'm no country girl either. I'm like a weird thing in the middle. I don't even have attributes of either one. Hmm.

¬_¬ Bugger.

Ah well. I have a credit card - did I ever mention that to anyone? Yeah. There's nothing on it though. Haha. I plan to use it for gas only. Speaking of gas, it's magical how the prices have gone down, eh? Lucky me - I get a car and boo-yah! Gas is down to $2.51 here, so said the gas stations today. I apologize to those of you in bigger cities in the case that you're getting pounced upon and having your wallet stolen every time you gas up. In Champaign it was $2.53 so weirdly enough it was actually cheaper here. I think we should throw some kind of party if it ever reaches below $2.

So dad is all gone. Off to Pennsylvania where he backpacks to work out and is happily working away in his program, talking about publication with the big boys etc. He calls every day. Poor bloke. He emails like there's no tomorrow either. Guess he's bored down there...or over there. Pennsylvania isn't exactly "down" now is it? Nicole needs to learn her geography all over again. Dur. He keeps telling me not to worry about the job thing, and when I think about it, isn't exactly worry. More like stressing. I feel useless to my family, just some slug sucking off them. Nicole's a little parasite. Gross. Jobs, jobs, jobs, yadda, yadda, yadda. Let's move on to something else for all your sakes. Why can't I ever write anything fun like Stacey? She writes about Mac vs. PC commercials and all I've been doing is bitching. Puke.

I've gotten into contact with a guy named Tim who lives in Champaign and whom I basically know nothing about aside from the fact that he was referred to me by a guy named Jason who was referred to me by a woman named Alison who's the head honcho (at least of the poetry program) at Carbondale. *whew* Anyway, Jason said I should get in touch with him since he's applying for grad schools as well and we should exchange work. Makes sense to me, especially if I'm going to have to create literary short stories (the utter opposite of what I so enjoy doing). Might as well have someone out there to give them some kind of critique. (Hey, I smell like soap. Mmm...). Might meet up with him sometime after all this job nonsense and have a cup of coffee (or a frap...or a big cookie - I've been a cookie whore as of late) and talk writing and grad stuff. He's curious about my rise and downfall in the world of graduate school. Haha. At least it's interested someone. Maybe I could write a short story on that.

On the list of other good things includes the approach of my 300th review at Epinions. I only have 7 reviews to go. Hooray beer! I mean, hooray! Or maybe hooray margaritas since we still have some margarita mix left and now mom bought some margarita glasses. That's right Stacey - mom bought margarita glasses with that gift card. Wahaha. Oh and how I want the shelves I saw there when we went. Pier 1 had the greatest shelves and they were on sale 50% off. Aaaaaggghhh I wanted them so bad. It's not often I go nuts over something. Sandra and Katie were around when I had my sudden button-down shirt fetish. Megan was there when I regretfully did not buy the utterly sweet Old Navy messenger bag that I didn't think I'd use and then found out it would have been AWESOME the very next semester for my Writer's Crawls. Or my limited $100 spree which entailed a brown phase. *pauses* I think that's about it. Anyway, it's been a while since I've wanted anything that badly. But naturally, my buyer's sense came up.

"Do you need those shelves?"
"...No. But they're so pretty..."
"Don't you already have a shelf?"
"...Yeah. But I could put it in the computer room and ditch that old ghetto one."
"But do you really need them? Are you really willing to pay all that for them?"
"...Kinda. I could put it on my credit card."
"And then pay it back with what? You have no income."
"...I could have mom get it for me as a graduation present..."
"Does she honestly have the money for that?"
"......"
"......?"
"Well yeah, I guess you're right. What with dad in school and her stuck at Walgreens...but it's not fair! I haven't gotten anything yet and I'm going to pay back the $2,500 for the car!"
"..."
*sigh* "Fine. I know."

Bugger. :(

The other good thing includes the sale of two books on Half.com totaling $41.75. And cookies. I made cookies last Friday during the fun-time Stargate goodness and I'm going to make them again tomorrow. Not to mention that I ate German chocolate cake tonight along with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream by Edy's (just a little). *pokes tummy* I am like a crack addict. I'm more relaxed when stuff like that is in the house and I know I have access to it at the drop of a hat. Like at school - easy access didn't always mean total indulgement - er, except for that whole Vermonty Python/fudge cow thing. Yeah, that was a little overzealous. I might have worried Derek. Haha.

So how does Nicole stay sane? Chocolate, sugar, the simple joys of life like watching the clouds, growing things, hummingbirds (that chase the bees away from the feeder - that was funny), and people who make me happy. Two noteworthy mentions - Stacey's blog and Derek's "suckosity." I'd be even happier if I got to hang out with everyone on Saturday, but apparently someone had to go and cancel. No names will be named. 0XD

And I'm very disappointed that Dane Cook's next movie stars him and Jessica Simpson.

Bugger. >.<

I need to redo my nails.

Queen Bitch of the Universe Is Back In Her Cage

2006-09-01T12:45:00.000-05:00

I'm better now.

I had my breakdown early Sunday (and then the next morning after dreaming my dog had died) so all my rage and whatnot has leaked out. So I'm back to normal - I don't hate my car, I finally got into contact with the company I want in on, my glories are doing their damnest to make a comeback, among other things.

Good times.

The car. The dealership called me a few days ago to set up a check up on my car, and I took it in and got a new battery out of it (no charge - sha-zam. Though I did sort of wanna go "HA!" to them, but I was normal so I didn't) and everything else checked out fine. The breaks aren't an issue, though the car is a little shuddery when slowing down. It's not the breaks, it's just the fact that the car is 6 years old. The thing that does bother me the most is how iffy it is in the wind. Seems like the wind pushes it around more easily than it should and that makes me a little wary. Oh! Good lord, and the blind spot is a little larger than I'd first noticed. Or enough at least that on Wednesday I almost lane-changed into someone. Fucking NOT cool. You know, I don't even think the guy noticed. Freaked me out though, so I'm going to be an extra paranoid driver when I have to change lanes or pass someone now. Joy. Still, it's a pair of shoes. What's that mean? I mentioned last time it would be like a pair of shoes I bought - sucky at first, but I'd get used to it. It's as I predicted. I'm slowly getting used to it though it hasn't totally sunk in that this is my car. I'm still distanced from that since I guess it's not what I would have gone with from the start, but as usual, oh well. It's something and it gets me from A to B and we haven't gotten to the resentment point that the vacuum and I have, and I don't think that's going to happen. I told the car I'd be good to it if it was good to me, and so far it's holding up it's end of the bargain, so it's cool. Car situation: A-Ok.

I called the company again, and this time the person I wanted to talk to wasn't in a meeting, but neither were they at their desk. Ugh. But five minutes later I got a call. I might have noticed (says the person) that the ad is still in the paper so they're still checking things out. Um ok. This is Champaign - how many people do you think fit the bill? Hire me already! I'm a hard worker and I want to do this! I wish they just knew that I'd be great for them. So I'm still waiting. But I figure at least by me calling they know that I want to freaking work there. In other areas, I'm pondering joining Mary Kay again now that I can transport myself, or just going to a company and having them hire me out to temp jobs and all that since who knows how long we'll be here and such?

And on that note, dad is off and in Pennsylvania already. He left yesterday for his little apartment, calling after reaching every state. I got him plenty of goodies on his computer to listen to (including a plethora of songs from The Blues Brothers - which I'm listening to as we speak). I was up till 4am the other day doing it. Nyahahaha! But now we won't see him until November. Bums me out but at the same time it's not too bad. Love my dad and all, but there are a few perks to him not being here. Chocolate. Lack of TV/news. Lack of errands to run. Lack of being told I need to do this and that and feeling freaked out and rushed. I did get all bummy when he left because I think mom was getting teary eyed and I knew that he was going to really miss her (heck, we go to Colorado and he starts missing her even though he bitches about her doing this and that when he's here...whatever). I think as time goes by he just wants to be by her as often as possible. Getting older and all that. But what do I know - I'm just guessing. Anyway, it's just us now and the house is getting looked at again on Saturday. I'm making cookies Friday night because I've had a craving for fresh cookie dough and cookies straight out of the oven since a few weeks ago.

Another thing about dad being gone - we can keep the clutter to a minimum. Mom and I went on a cleaning spree yesterday. I did most of the computer room (have yet to do the counter here), fixed up my room since dad took the small bookshelf and so we moved the tall one up there, mowed the front lawn (Ashley did the back - in like, 5 minutes. It's crazy how fast she does it, and it's not a small yard either). So our house is spiffied up, dusted, all that. Needs vacuuming and a few more things - oh, and I need to till up the dirt where the pool was and we need some grass seed to put down... I have a plethora of things I need to do and haven't done just yet. Random stuff keeps getting in the way, but it happens. So much to do, and it's already September. Man, the last weeks of August went by WHOOSH! Speaking of September, who wants to give me all the details about this September 9th Tailgate? I hear Anthony is in charge, but I don't have the boy's email. Either way, I do plan on coming (I'd have to have the excuse of either dying or someone I know dying not to come now, what with transportation and all). Besides, I've been told so. According to Derek's last little post in my bloggy here, "Be there or suck." I fuckin' almost died laughing.

At least I'm back in my normal mood again. That makes me happiest.

*rocks out to Blues Brothers music* "Bend over, let me see you shake a tailfeather...do the twist!"

Begone Clutter!

Beware! This Is A Hardcore Vent/Rant/Bitch Session

2006-08-27T15:35:00.000-05:00

What the hell is today? Sunday?

*cue exasperated and agitated growl*

This whole Penn State thing is fucking up my world and essentially the worlds of everyone around me. It's great in the end, but so far it's pretty much caused us nothing but grief. Shall I tell the tale of the buying of the car, or the coming death of my Morning Glories? The disappearance of money from my savings account, or the constant stress in my stomach that makes me want to throw up and random intervals?

I am not a happy camper.

Let's start from the beginning. I last left off the day after Monday, when all was fairly good. Please note I still have not heard back from the publishing place, but I will get to that.

Basically, we brought mom in to test drive the three vehicles we'd decided to choose from. A black Saturn Ion, silver Saturn L300, and a red Chevrolet Tracker. All for good prices considering their milage (which was not much), year, and all that. Soon it was down to the Tracker and the L. The Tracker was cheaper, had a little more milage, but still in good shape. I liked the Tracker; I could see myself driving it, though it needed new breaks. Mom liked the L, but she's sort of biased towards cars and whatnot, whereas me and dad not so much. However, it had gone from dad getting a new car and me buying the Isuzu and all that entailed, to me taking over entirely and getting a car myself - just had to wait for a job. Well, that wasn't happening, but I was still going to get the car because I know if anything I'll just skip over to Dick's Sporting Goods and hop on there. They're always in need of some decent workers. But to the point. We're ready to get the Tracker. I'm excited because I'm getting something I like, it's not through the roof, and we can finally be done with all this car shopping nonsense. After all, dad's leaving Sunday (that was to be today, but I'll get to that in a bit too) and we won't have any more time to do this crap.

The salesguy is a nice guy and since it's Saturn they're supposed to be all straightforward yadda yadda. Of course, the guy's still gonna be trying to sell whether or not he can jack around with the price, but we know this. Dad used to sell cars anyway so it's nothing new to him. However, before he gets the chance to get us all comfy and ready to shell out money and all that, some lady breezes in, starts snapping up the paperwork, says something about St. Louis and says for us to come into her office. I didn't know what the hell was going on, but let me tell you this - the sales guy looked a little "..Whoa, wait, wtf?" and her demeanor just was a bad omen. She wasn't being bitchy, but right away I just knew it.

"This is not going to end well."

You know, the whole, "I have a bad feeling about this" thing, yeah, big time. Basically, she already settled in her mind what we could afford before us telling her what our plans were, she was obviusly working for herself, was rather distant, winced about stuff (you know, in that "Ooh, I don't know" kind of way which made no sense and was not cool), and in gerenal, was getting dad in a bad mood really fast - it was obvious and if that woman had any sense whatsoever she would have known. Apparently dad had caught what she'd said initially, which was something about her having to go to St. Louis and pretty much wanted to do this and get things overwith to be on her way. Not a good choice when we're buying an $11,000 vehicle and you're being a snot. The warranty on the Tracker was up and so she offered a brand spanking new one for four years - for $2,500. Not so great. How about two years? $2,000. Wtf?

Needless to say, she was working all this for her benefit, and we basically walked out. I could see the sales guy out of the corner of my eye spot us, looked a little freaked out and start toward us, but we weren't stopping and left. I guess he decided it wouldn't be a good idea to chase after us. I knew he would call the next day after whatever'd happened cooled down. He did and dad promptly informed him of the nonsense we'd dealt with. He tried to smooth it over, but to no avail. But it was Thursday when he called. And guess what we were doing? We were in another dealership for a good portion of the day.

Okay, now I want you to understand something. For those of you who've never seen me mad, count yourself lucky because I turn into an utter bitch. I've freaked a few people out. I woke up irritated. When I'd gotten home after the Tracker incident (since I knew we weren't going to get it) I was very unhappy and was getting so worked up that I ran on the treadmill when we got home at 5pm right before dinner and I seriously overdid it because then I was hacking my guts out later, but I didn't give a shit. So I woke up irritated and I knew we had to go car hunting again and I really didn't want to. At all. Getting your first car is supposed to be fun, perhaps a little tiring and maybe annoying, but when it's your first car, it's supposed to be cool, right? Sure. Whatever you say kids. So once more, it's 9am, and we're out and about, and I'm trying not to talk a lot because if I do it's just going to come out in ugly sarcasm in a flat tone and just overall pretty nasty. Dad had already tried to make things up to me the day before by buying chocolate (which I didn't even eat until 4 hours later, if you can believe that), but that just made me more irritated because I wasn't mad at him, it wasn't his fault she was fucking stupid. And when I'm angry I just like to be left alone to stew that way I'm not a bitch to people and then start feeling worse.

But to get back to the story. We get into a random Kia Sportage, 2001 with close to 81,000 miles on it, ready to test drive it - and it doesn't even start. I decided then that aside from God's commandment of "Thou shalt not have a boyfriend" (tried that twice and look what happened - breaking commandments is bad), now tacked on is "Thou shalt not have a car." This not-starting thing did not make me like the car, naturally. After a jump it worked, but to be honest, I was pretty much in the mood of "Fuck today, and fuck this car." I was really, really bad. I don't think I've ever been more upset in my life. After test driving it the salesman proposed that since I had to go to Parkland to drop off Ashley I go ahead and take it there. I must have said "No" or some varation thereof about ten times to him and dad. Take it there and let it sit for an hour? Was I comfortable with that? No. Uh, no. No. $@#%& NO!

I ended up with the keys shoved in my hand and driving it to Champaign anyway. Dad kept asking me if I hated the car. I kept saying, No, it wasn't that. In truth, a part of me did hate the car because it wasn't anything near what I'd ever pick out for myself. The cup holder is in the shittiest place ever, and if what I drink doesn't condensate all over my controls, it's going to block them. The breaks were shuddering. It's a little floaty in the wind. It had double the miles of the Tracker. I don't personally know how good Kia is. Even though it's about the same size as the Tracker, I feel like a soccer mom driving around a van. It's tan. It took me about 10 minutes to get the seat where I wanted it and get comfortable. I kept getting rugburn on my right elbow when I got in and rubbed it on the seat fabric. There's no CD player and no cruise control and I don't even own any tapes to put in the tape player. The locking control has four buttons on it and only two of them actually do something (who the hell makes this shit?). And yesterday it took my sister and I about 5-10 minutes to figure out what was wrong with the back since it wouldn't close and latch unless pushed hard from just the right spot. So yes, a part of me has major issues with this. For the entire day yesterday I was on the verge of tears. I nearly cracked twice in the middle of the dealership just sitting there. I kept hearing from dad, "You do like it right? Is this okay? I don't want you to be forced into buying something you don't like," and though, yes, in essence, it's okay for just $7,000, I wanted to yell

WILL YOU SHUT UP?! QUIT TELLING ME YOU DON'T WANT ME TO FEEL LIKE I'M FORCED INTO BUYING THIS WHEN I AM!

And I was, really. Our options were gone. I wasn't going to have the resources and skill to go mosey on out and buy something for myself. I don't know enough to keep from getting screwed. I was just not excited about this car - at all. I couldn't get into it. I just knew that it and me were going to end up resenting each other the way I hate our vacuum. It never does anything it's supposed to when I use it and I'd love nothing more than to take it out like in Office Space and beat it to shit with a bat.

Now I don't want you guys to get the impression that I'm not grateful for a new car (or in my case a car) because it's not a bad little vehicle, they spiffied it up real nice for me (no gas, but oh well, fine), they fixed up the breaks (just as long as they don't fucking die while I'm on the highway and I crash) and the battery is cool, just needed some charging (still wasn't jazzed even after hearing that anyway) and the entire car is paid for and in my name. This means I owe dad about $2,500 as I pulled $4,000 from my near $5,000; I subsequently had to downgrade my savings account to just a regular one that didn't pay out as much so I didn't have to pay penalty fees. He did offer to shave off maybe $1,000 from that as a graduation present since I never got anything, but I declined. Yeah, I know, shut up, you guys think I'm nuts. But that's how ugly I was yesterday - I declined paying less money for the simple fact that I refused to have this part of this car payment as a graduation present. Graduation presents are supposed to kick ass, correct? This does not kick ass and I stand by my decision and will not go back on it. They can think of something else, though it is likely that in our present situation that I will never get anything (wouldn't be a surprise anyway, coming from the girl who got hand me ups from her little sister). C'est la vi.

It will take me a while to get into this. Presently it's like that pair of brown shoes I bought freshman year - I regretted buying them because they were cheaper by $10, but still cute, though not as cute as the ones I really wanted, and then they ended up killing my the backs of my heels but I was like, "Nope, I bought these and dammit, they're going to fucking work or else." They're fine now. It took a while of careful lacing and walking, but after a year or so they finally got to a point where they seldom bothered me and finally now they don't. So this car and I are going to get along or else. I'm just pissy because the whole experience was bad, and I'm still really pissy because I never got the chance to either A.) cry until I ran out of energy to do so or B.) beat the fucking shit out of something. So I'm still wound up.

Other news that didn't help any of this, dad's car started wacking out and smelling like gasoline when starting up and got progressively worse. I called the place that interviewed me on Friday but the person I wanted to talk to was in a meeting so I left my name. Then I had to leave yet again due to the car situation and when I returned, apprently the phone had rung two seperate occasions but no message was left. If it was them, more reason for me to be irritated. This weekend my sister and Nick came up. That's not a bad thing, but since Nick is Mr. Fix-It, suddenly dad wants to fix everything and use Nick for his knowledge and help. So he goes from making me fix the lightbulb in the kitchen that I can't even remotely reach even with a ladder to the guy who can fix everything. A part of the fence is weirded out so they fixed that. I have Morning Glories I've been growing there the past few years and they were pulled down so they could do that. Then dad walks in and tells me I just need to put them back on the fence. Do you know how improbable that is? There was nothing to hang them on! I had to pull half of them out and I'll bet money that another good portion of them is going to die and hence our fence will go from looking fine to looking like shit and I'll have to pull more of my lovely glories out. It's just the little things are drving me utterly insane. Tor needs to hurry up and reply, tell me I'm published, and I need to get famous and rich so I can shower my family with plenty of money and move my ass to Colorado to cool down.

I've been overdosing on chocolate and sugar hardcore too. The last time we went out (because more people have been seeing the house so we have to leave again with the dog and OMFG it can be a nightmare because half these people aren't even giving us one day's notice like they're goddamn supposed to) was to a smorgasbord and I was like "Fuck it" and just went nuts on dessert.

So I need a week to either cry, kill something, or immerse myself in anything but stress that's been making my stomach cramp up and me all nauseous for the past several days. I just want my job - I want my little cubicle where I can work on a manuscript. I would be so happy just to do that, 8-4 for five days a week, proofreading and being quiet. That's all I want right now. Is that really so much to ask?

Super Fuck Everything

Ladies and Gentlemen:

2006-08-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

I no longer want to shoot myself in my face.

I’ve been wanting to post a blog for a while now, but I haven’t wanted to push my luck or anything. I’m vaguely superstitious sometimes, so I decided to hold off on putting anything up until after Monday.

What happened on Monday.

What didn’t happen on Monday?

We need to rewind a little bit first.

You already know that I’ve been putting in applications and looking for work. Right, nothing new. My little sister Ashley is enrolled in Parkland College and classes began on Monday. Ok, good. Mom and dad went to Pennsylvania again last week for the entire week, coming back on Friday. They looked at houses and apartments; dad needs an apartment to stay in until we go over to move in somewhere, and the houses they looked at were basically crap since the real estate lady worked for a high-end sort of place and knew that we couldn’t afford anything just yet, so she basically didn’t work very hard to impress them. Rude, I think, because for all she knows we could sell this bitch tomorrow and then have the cash to shell out for a nice house and make her a nice chunk of money, but hey, what do I know of customers and respect and timing? They got back Friday, and I was beginning to stress because a new car is indeed in the works, but dammit, I need a job in order to pay back school loans, not to mention that now it’s August so I’m getting really antsy. This will be the first time in my life where I don’t have to go off to school, so now I definitely need something else to do in order to stop mooching, as I’ve previously mentioned.

Moving on. Thursday, before mom and dad got back, I took Ashley to Parkland where we walked around in order to find all her classes and for her to get a better feel for the place. Good God…but I’ll get to that. It was also during that week I got a phone call from a company called Omegatype that publishes textbooks and that I applied to for an editorial position. They would like an interview. F-ing score. When? I say any day will do – it’s not like I’ve doing anything and school doesn’t start for dad yet so he’s not going anywhere. Monday at 2:30. Sounds good. Confirmed. Clunk goes the phone as I put it back. Huzzah. Drinks all around.

Monday. Here we are. Ashley’s school starts today and guess what? I get to wake up at 7:20ish and take her there for her 9am. Ugh. I am not a morning person. I never have been. I feel like I’m the one going to school. Not something I’m excited about. My hope at the time of forming my interview was that I would wake up at 9ish, shower, makeup, eat something, get ready, and leave at 1:50 to be sure I got there with a decent amount of time to spare. I absolutely abhor being late. Especially when it’s something I consider important. I was never nervous about the interview, which is ironic since I’ve only been to a total of 2 in my life. They can’t even really be counted because I was basically in with Dick’s and the interview was mostly a formality to be sure they were getting what they were promised, and the other was at the Daily Vidette and how serious can that be taken when they seem to be unable to proofread themselves out of a bag at times. I’d made a point to visit the building on Friday so I was sure I knew where it was.

Instead of my plan, the plan got out of my control and became this: I take Ashley to school, dad and I go get a car or at least look at a few more, we tool around until 1 when Ashley’s done, go get here, mosey around some more until 2:30 for my interview where I would be dumped off. Ugh. Not excited. I didn’t want to do all that, I didn’t want to be dumped off, and my biggest fear was that in cruising around Champaign or doing whatever errands dad had to do there, like get a new ink cartridge, we would get to my interview late and that would turn me into Grade A Bitch, and I mean hardcore. Especially since I was now pretty flustered. Most of my being flustered was for Ashley. We got there and I went in with her – yeah, I know we treat her like she’s not 19 and it’s pathetic, but you don’t know Ashley, so try not to judge. Besides, I’m always the one doing my best to get mom and dad to ease up off her and let her do her own thing since she is 19 for goodness sakes, but I can only do so much and for years I haven’t been here to tell them to back up, so yeah. Anyway, as I was leaving, I did something I don’t often do unless I’m stressed and worried tons, I asked God to keep an eye on her. I was uber worried she’s get lost, get flustered, and have an utterly horrid time there. It’s completely possible too, for anyone. Parkland is a maze, okay? A fucking maze. Even I didn’t know where I was going and got turned around half the time when we were there days before. But all I could do was hope that she’d remembered the route we mapped out from class 1 to 2 to 3 and be fine, call us when the day was done, and be comfortable with her new routine. She’d had hell to deal with in schools before, that’s why I was so worried for her – I don’t want her to deal with any more fucked up stuff.

Wishful thinking.

I voiced my freaked-outness to dad and he decided to forgo with the car shopping/buying. For that I was grateful, though since we bought cookies at Sam’s a day or so before, I was sucking those down like there was no tomorrow. I can’t even begin to guess how many cookies I ate yesterday. So I had time to gather myself together, do some reading, get gussied up appropriately, dress, exchange gym shoes for black heels, and around 12 something we left. We mosey into Parkland and I manage to get us where Ashley is and that’s when we get some shitty news. Someone somewhere fucked up, bad. Parkland didn’t get paid, Ashley’s classes got dropped. See, she was supposed to visit a room at some point to do a writing sample for them to pick an English class for her. She has a break between 11 and 12 so she went over there then, having nothing else to do. It was then someone behind the desk informed her of this. Cue more stress for the poor girl. Someone did manage to reinstate her, but that meant we had to pay that day or else. She managed to find her classes, which were in different areas now (God knows how – I thanked him later). So after wandering around a bit and getting bearings we visit the Business Office. The lady behind the desk has a bit of attitude and so that brings it out in dad. Joy. My feet fucking hurt because of all the ramps in the place – what I wouldn’t have given for stairs. I’m also getting all hot and gross and hope it doesn’t make me look too freaky for later. No one is a happy camper. We’d missed all the payment plan deadlines and now owed nearly $900 right then. Yeah, right. Dad raises some hell and then we march all over to a few other places to get some information.

I don’t know who went wrong. I don’t know where things went wrong. RTHS took their sweet ass time sending over Ashley’s transcripts so she couldn’t enroll until August 4th. All the dates were pretty much passed at that time, but the records show that the transcripts came in June. In short, I don’t know what happed, really. I just know that now, everyone’s basically pissed off. Ah, but moving along. It’s past 1 and we’re finally heading out of there. Dad and Ashley want food. Dad offers custard, but I’m not freaking hungry – at all. I’m hot, irritated, and have been wanting the day over with ever since 8am that morning. After they get food at Arby’s, we head to the interview. I’m happier because A.) I’m there and B.) I’m almost 10 minutes early. I head in, get greeted by two interviewers and the Vice President of the whole shebang and from the get go it already sounds like I’m hired. Again, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but the way things went, it just really seemed like it. But I’m not counting my chickens until they’re hatched, grown up, and laying eggs of their own.

The end of the interview basically meant the end of the day, or at least the totally bonkers part of it. The house was being shown at 7 that night still. So we had time to get home, eat, and then all of us went out with the dog to the lake near our house and waltzed around there for a while. It was a really good ending to a super crazy day. Cool air, grass, open space, fish swimming around in the lilies (or whatever they were). All was good. Then we went back, they were still at the house, so we went and got ice cream. Heh. All I’d eaten all day was a number of cookies, dinner (grilled salmon and a side dish), and then ice cream.

Today is an off day. I should nap I suppose, but I have laundry and I’d wake up grouchy or like I’d been shot with a horse tranquilizer so I’ll forgo the nap. The Parkland situation is still not awesome and we’re getting the car tomorrow (going to be a black Saturn Ion for about $12,000 with 13,000 miles I think – could be wrong on the milage) and it’s been decided that I’ll be driving it. Dad’s going to need the Isuzu for transporting his stuff to Pennsylvania, and if I do get a job, I’ve decided that I’ll make payments for the car and make it mine. I’m already dishing out $3,000 as it is (because originally if I didn’t take whatever we ended up getting car-wise, I’d pay that and take the Isuzu).

I’m beat. A few final notes and shout-outs to random people. No Stacey, I haven’t been playing any video games. I don’t feel productive when I do that – but once I get a job, then I will because I’ll finally be doing something. Ashley plays them too much and it just makes me go “Ugh” at the idea of doing the same, you know? Once I have a foot in somewhere, I’ll be comfortable enough to sit down after work and let my ass fill out while I play. And Kingdom Hearts is annoying the fuck out of me. I’ll probably move on to Prince of Persia. And I sold all the old Sega games except the system and the Sonics. To Sandra and Stacey – I’ve finished the first Janet Evanovich book; did it the last two days. I am highly amused, but I’ll have to order the next one from the library like I did last time. And Sandra, you need to visit Stacey’s blog to check on her cast list for the books and see if you approve, haha. Oh, to Stacey again, I rented Return to Me from the library too, but have yet to see it. Megan, you’ll have to be sure to let me know how your days at school go in your new position. To Jenni – where the hell are the baby pictures? To Derek – Bonnar and Griffin are going to fight again; that kicks ass. Anthony, what is all this shit I hear about you doing some tailgating thing and you not contacting me to invite me? I’m going to kick your ass next time I see you (or virtually if I’m online – wahah!). Shawn – you’re still mad because you’re ugly. Katie – you suck for never emailing me back, you bitch you. ;) To everyone else, love ya and hope your summer has been whomping butt and leaving behind the stress.

For some reason, I’m feeling rather vampiric today. Anyone else?

Additional Note: This was going to get posted at about 3 o’clock today, but then the A/C decided to be a bitch, Parkland’s online system is a goddamn joke, my damn dinner kept fucking up, and now I’m very hot and irritated. At least I’ll be driving a new (for me anyway) car tomorrow.

Day Of A Thousand Phone Calls

2006-08-14T18:18:00.000-05:00

I really wanted to post something yesterday, but was holding off out of respect for my dad. Now I've decided to go ahead and post and simply leave off certain bits of information. And about the title, I'll get to that in a bit once I've caught up.

*deep breath*

It was yesterday when the day started at 6:55am. Why? My dog woke me up. Ok, well, I'd been sleeping crappily anyway, so I was half-awake at the time as it was, so it wasn't too big of a deal when she came in and started fussing. She'd gotten stuck outside of mom and dad's room and of course she doesn't ask the alpha male for anything, and so if mom doesn't do something for her, she comes to me next, like a kid see-sawing from mom to dad about candy. Anyway, after being incoherent to dad, I went back to bed and didn't get up again until 10.

Two sausage patties and two over-easy eggs later, the phone rang, dad was on the treadmill, I got it, and skipping ahead, our real estate lady was going to show our house that day at 1 or 2. Oh joy. (to her credit, she'd tried to reach us twice, but was unable to get through - probably because dad was online downstairs where nothing picks up as opposed to upstairs) Our house, though in good shape, new oven and dishwasher and some paint jobs and all that, still has a few tweaks that needs attending to. Of course, having just slapped it up on the Century 21 site a day or so before, we'd hardly had the time to put in a new storm door, paint a small area outside, fix the wood tiles near the front door, and clean. Cue the mass hysteria.

I doled out the job of vacuuming to Ashley whilst I ran around and...well I'm not even sure what I did at that time exactly...I just remember running around like a chicken with my head cut off all morning. I did clean the stovetop, counters, kitchen area in general, threw a bunch of clothes away that had been sitting around unsold from the garage sale, and attacked our goofy little pool outside once dad was done cleaning it out. Ashley pretty much did everything I told her. We tidied up around the house, hid random items, I went bonkers in my room the second I had the chance, putting away my clothes from the day before from the drying rack, stashing my purse and a few knickknacks, under my bed, in my closet, under that birthday hat with the candles on it. Dad was Quikcreting cracks outside, a spot inside where the wood tile had to come up and the concrete had broken and gotten all loose, and then came the paint.

The day before we'd gone to Lowe's and gotten some paint. Dad picked it out. I was baffled. It was an odd sort of green color, one he claimed was going to go outside. Nothing outside was this color green, or remotely that color. No idea what the man was thinking. I made my confusion and doubt clear; "Green? I don't think that's the color outside dude." But to no avail. When we got home, well, I'm sure you can guess.

Anyway, back to what we were doing. Dad had found some paint that was a much milder green (sort of - it was lighter, but rather, ah, vibrant) and had set to painting outside our little doorside window. It didn't match much. I was ordered to finish (oh! That's what I did first that morning! Paint the mailbox, I remember now) and did so and then went about cleaning paintbrushes and yanking tape off of other painted areas inside the house (er, ok, just one spot on the other side of the glass) and remembered where the paint had come from. It had no relation to the outdoors, rather, some sponge painting mom had done in the bathroom. Oops. Ah well, our plan was to bust out the paint we'd used not long ago to patch areas in the house. It's basically the right color, and over the green paint, would work out nicely. And it does, in fact, as just several hours ago I hopped on out there and slapped up a fresh coat so now everything looks peachy (shut up, we all know it's not exterior paint, but we don't hide the details from possible buyers either).

While we're in the midst of our frenzy, our real estate lady calls again, and as I've left the phone in my room upon the initial frenzy, I'm spazzing about the house in search of it and don't reach it before the answering machine goes off, which is back downstairs, so I obviously don't get there in time, unless I want to hurl myself down the stairs and hope for the best. It's 12:50 and the message on the recorder says they'll be there around 1:30. Gyah. After some more bustle, I get dressed into something respectable instead of slobwear, and head out to inspect the green paint just as they pull up to mosey around the house. I'm pooped, dad's down where it's polar in the basement to cool off, and the dog's been put in her little kennel cage and we hope she won't freak out too much. I'm not exactly accustomed to being around while people are looking about my house. But we all chat - dad and the husband are chattering away, etc. etc. until 3:40 when the wife finally manages to break the two up and drag her hubby off.

The day ended at Applebee's with the news that prospects were good, but to keep an eye out in case not, you know, things like that. I never dreamed selling this house could crop up so quickly like that. Case in point, just today the first phone call I got was from an agent with a customer wanting to see the house tomorrow at 5. So I have to clean again, or at least spruce up. I'll probably have Ashley vacuum again for good measure. When the time comes we'll take the dog for a nice long walk. Or car ride. Whichever. She likes car rides so it doesn't matter.

And what about the phone call thing? Well I've already picked the dang thing up 6 or 7 times today. Mom and Dad are off to Pennsylvania once more to scope out living places for dad while he goes to school (or houses...or something, not entirely sure what their purpose is down there) so I have to manage all this craziness, which is fine. Cripes, even my grandma called today. A telemarketer, three calls (our real estate lady, dad, and the random one) to tell me about the 5 o'clock showing tomorrow. Blarg.

So once again, that's what's been going on in the life o'me. I'll bet none of you ever thought that when I started this blog it would turn into a play by play of my relocation to a state in the east. Hell, even I never imagined it would turn into that. How odd...

...I'm making beef fajitas tonight anyway.

OMFG stop calling me!

Bloggy

2006-08-10T17:50:00.000-05:00

How to start this blog?

I suppose I should start by coming right out and saying it: The house is officially up for sale. Yup, there's a sign in our yard and everything. Our agent came over today (while I was making bacon and eggs in my pajamas for heaven's sake!) and they chatted and talked and her husband helped fix a light dad had long since given up on and that I'd forgotten existed and were there until I came back down to make myself a miniature sub sangwich. (and no, that's not a typo)

Of course, that means major housecleaning. Housecleaning and often for people who decide to come strolling through. I'm going to have to organize my room again in some shape or form. And we need to sell more stuff too - chairs, a chest of drawers, the Nissan that's been sitting under the carport for so long it won't budge and will probably have to be towed out by whoever takes it. And then there's the stuff we won't bother trying to sell and instead will just put on the curb for a freesale. Freecycle.org digest here I come.

Before then, I've been running around, looking up job stuff and filling out applications and write, rewriting, and printing cover letters, tweaking resumés, and all that other nonsense. Let's face it - there are no decent jobs in this town. Clerks, secretaries, laborers, nurses - basically jobs that either aren't awesome and don't pay all that awesome either, or stuff for professions I have no relation to. So I guess my best bet is retail. Besides, I don't need a super awesome job if I'm going to move in however long it takes anyway. I did send off some stuff to flash around my skills for a spot I saw in the paper blaring "FREELANCERS WANTED" (sha-zam) and another for an editorial spot for a company that puts out textbooks. Then of course there's Borders and Barnes & Noble (who is hiring - sha-zam again; I'd like working there). I'm still not too keen on getting back into the working sector (naturallly) but I'd get to feeling real guilty real fast for living here and not offering anything at all. I admit to leeching from time to time, but I can't go on like that. Drives me nuts and it's not right. If I couldn't get a job, I'd redouble my efforts for publishing. I've taken a bit of a break from it now. Gets exhausting after a while. It's like studying and writing a paper since I've got my nose in books with a highlighter poised over the page and I need to check and recheck addresses, editor names, blah blah, until I realize I've been doing all that for two days in a row and I burn myself out. Speaking of which, I might send something else off today...but the rest of this is stuff for the other blog.

The weather hasn't exactly been agreeable either, but at least it's not been completely horrible. When it rains it's just normal rain - it's not coming down in sheets or flying sideways. It's been one of those days where even the dog lays around because there's nothing to do and she can't play outside. I've taken to reading a lot, myself. Actually, some of that is due to another publishing company. Their guidelines are very specific and they request the submitter read at least two books from a small list that they have (and not surprisingly, the library only had one, so I think I'll just say, "Screw it" and buy the other one) so as to get a feel for what they like, and then fill out a form, yadda yadda before even submitting. That way you can decide if your work really is the right stuff to send them. So far I'm still leaning towards "Um, yes," but I want to be sure and read this other book first, one specifically published by them.

And, in the end, should I end up jobless, dad has asked if I want to go with him for a week to Pennsylvania while he gets a bunch of junk and paperwork and other stuff together. Sure. Why the hell not? Especially if I don't have a job (which I really do need to have, actually, guilt or not, because I owe the government some cash). Get a feel for the layout of the place, things like that.

Ugh. I need some freaking chocolate.

But yeah, that's about the gist of things. And the car fiasco. Well, it's not really a fiasco. Just that dad will need a car and I'll probably need a car since we only have two at the moment and we'll all be split up depending upon jobs and such. Dad in Pennsylvania, mom will be working in the new Walgreens here in Rantoul (instead of the ghetto one in Champaign), and me, well, that's left to be decided.

And I'm starting to think this book search I might just dump and execute plan B at the library...

Thank God for the little bit of Linkin Park I put on this computer.

Our sign is not this nice - it's just one of the wire ones. =P

Edit 8/12: Actually, never mind. Ours is that nice now - some kid just put it into our yard...

5-yr-olds, Floods, and Pancakes

2006-08-02T23:26:00.000-05:00

So dad's been really pissy today.

I don't know why, really. Something to do with mom he said. He tried to make me guess, saying it's the one thing that can get him all mad like that. I failed to guess correctly.

He's still pissy. I can hear him right now, banging around in the pans trying to do...something. Hell if I know. ...Hell if I wanna know. Either way, he's been like this all day, just bitchy and whiney. Heh, I could ask him if he's on his man period, but he might kill me.

So instead he did what he does best - get mad about everything and order everyone around. Naturally we do it because it's easier to hop to than to argue about it and just make the situation worse. So the house is all spic-n-span, the camping gear is all neat and tidy, everything is vacuumed, pool is refilled and covered, etc. etc. Since then I've been hiding out in my room because every time I'm around him he wigs out over something and that's no fun. Of course, hanging out in my room doesn't always work either since he can freak out anyway and yell about something to which he needs an answer or he'll freak out more. I'm thinking tomorrow I should go to Barnes & Noble to do some work, seeing as I've been at it all day (see other blog). However, there is a small problem with that since I've been planning to pull an all nighter tonight and do a bunch of reviews on music and books and movies, and basically anything I can get my hands on. I'm up to 271. I only need 29 more to hit 300. And why not? August is a good 300 mark. Don't ask me why, I'm just making this up as I go.

I forgot to mention at any point that the basement flooded again about a week ago when it rained (a.k.a. the sky opened up and went *barf!* all over everything). The street turned into a river and that was about when we realized there was a lot of water coming into the basement. However, because of last year's (was it last year? Well, whenever, you remember that story) flood, we were prepared. Pump, wet vac, (...is dad making cookies down there?? He's making something that involves stirring...I feel like saying pancakes but that makes no sense either since he was rooting around in the pan cupboard before) and dehumidifier. All of the above came in really handy about then. It wasn't half as bad as last time though - I'd say only about 50% of our basement - no, more like just 40% of it was affected. It didn't get two of the rugs (hooray!) and never made it over to the exercise equipment. It definitely didn't take us all day to clean up. More like an hour or two. Maybe that's another reason we should move...I have a few others recently popping up, but I can basically file them under Rantoul's stupidness so maybe they don't count.

Oh! The reason behind the flooding! Almost forgot. During the storm (and not long after I saw a bolt of lightening behind a large tree not a mile from our house - I subsequently turned off my computer and the other two) the power went out for just a second. Okay, maybe two. Either way, it was long enough for the city underground pump to shut off and not turn back on. Oh the joys of our city. I tell you, the street being a river - it came up over the sidewalk and started getting into our front yard there was so much rain. Ca-rayzee.

I still don't know what dad's making, and I guess I should head on over to the other blog to talk about the other things I've done today, but I'm getting tired of being on here so I might do that tomorrow. Who knows. You'll find out when you take note of the date and time at the bottom of it.

Pancakes? I have no idea.

Edit: It has something to do with the oven...

The Madcap Recap

2006-07-27T14:50:00.000-05:00

July 15 - Par-tay. Of course, we bought too much food, the guy came up wearing sombreros, we killed Rico the piñata, had waterfights via tiny squirtguns, drank plenty of booze, and in short, got my dad utterly wasted to the point that he was in bad shape the next morning. I didn't get wasted because we ran out of margarita goodness...that and I was running around as the cook and burned my hand on the oven sober so drunk would have been a bad thing. It was freakin' hot too.

July 16-19 - Mom and dad head off the Penn State to check things out. I am left here with Ashley and we go shopping, see Pirates of the Caribbean (yeah, that's right, I saw it again, bitches), and in general laze around. I exchanged my Angels & Demons book while we were out too, so now I can finish that. We also got the soundtrack to Pirates (which I highly recommend, but then again, I'm a soundtrack freak); worth every penny.

July 20-present - That morning it was raining. I don't know how it was in other parts of the state, but here it was just basically the sky vomiting down on everything. I woke up thinking, "We shouldn't go today...we shouldn't go west. This is a bad omen. This isn't right." Of course, I convince myself that once I get out there everthing will be okay, blah blah blah.

Boy am I an idiot. Why do I never listen to myself? But hey, I wanted to go to Colorado dammit.

The plan was to leave that day around 6am and get to Gothenburg, Nebraska that evening. Uh huh. Sure. The Penn State thing threw a wrench into just about everything. Dad's already sick of driving, and he's uber tired, and we still have to pack the car, he has to get his junk together, though I put as much as possible together the day before. We didn't leave until about 4:30pm. Not the best time to leave. We drive until around 1am and find a place at 1:30 to stay. We head out the next day, still far from our destination, which we eventually reach around 5ish. It's a Friday, and for some reason this year, the place is packed with people coming out like us, or people from Colorado just out for a weekend of camping. There is nowhere to camp. Literally - all the campsites are full, tents, trailers, RVs, everything everywhere. It's bonkers. All the hotels are full, "No Vacancy" signs everywhere you look. We head out to another town about 12 miles away. "No Vacancy." More. Finally we find a place for $108 and drop it. Our plan; to go out early the next morning and snatch the first open tent site we see.

8am and we're tooling around Timber Creek in circles, looking for anyone who might be packing up. Eventually we vulture around a Missouri couple and stake our claim there. Dad is in not so great shape. Headaches galore. We amuse ourselves for the few days until the 24th when we are to head out again into the mountains, packs on our back, etc. So far, aside from simply being in Colorado, the highlight of the trip for me has been happily petting a forest ranger's horse. As agitated as he was, he seemed to enjoy my company.

Ready to go, we hike up 3 miles to a site called Twinberry and put up the tent. Dad made the mistake of asking for rain the day before, because as we're hanging the food (gotta hang it from a snagged tree in a spot where bears can't climb up and get it), it starts to rain. Then it gets harder. I notice the clouds and can tell that if we just hide out under the trees long enough, it will break for a period of time long enough for us to go get our rain gear and not get wet in doing so. Dad is impatient, so I run and get it. Sure enough, the rain soon stops, but it's too late, we're already wet, but at least we've got our gear so when it starts up again we won't get more wet. It's cloudy the rest of the day, breaks long enough for stuff to dry out, us to have dinner, and then for me to play around while dad hangs around in the tent, trying to cool off and wish his headache away.

The next day we wake up around 6ish to the pitter-patter of rain. I recall the day before when it did the same thing and then cleared up. Dad is in bad shape. I ask if he wants to go down today. "Yes." So we pack up when the rain stops. The weather wasn't the issue, because it was clear of rain (though still cloudy) all the way down the path. It was the altitude. Dad can't handle 10,000 feet anymore. He's always been able to sense it. I'm sure some of you would too, but for some reason I never notice it. Sure, I can breathe in and tell the air is thinner, but other than the annoyance of ear poppage, I don't notice any difference between this patch of land in Illinois and that patch of Colorado 2 miles above sea level.

The mosquitos are thick this year for some reason and are chewing me up, but I doubt they'd be around in our other tentsite, since it's much higher up, but I'll never know. Skipping ahead, we get to the car, pack our junk up, and head out of Colorado back to lower altitudes. I'm trying not to be all mopey, but it was really hard not to. I didn't blame dad at all, I mean, a person can't help it if the altitude doesn't agree with them. There aren't any pills for that. The only cure is to go down, and if you don't, you really could get into big trouble, or die. I was just irritated that after all that nonsense, we were going home already. There was no backup plan, the Penn State screwed up the timing, dad, and other things. I wasn't even really all that mad at that. I was mostly bummed that I was leaving Colorado so soon. God knows when I'll get to go back. For a while dad was trying to be nice and make it up to me in various ways, and I was giving him all I could in the ways of peppiness, but I was really to the point where you think, "Please, just stop trying to cheer me up because it's really not working and just making me more irritated. Leave me in my despair for a while - I'll come out of it on my own."

I was better listening to music you listen to when you're totally pissed off, driving through a storm with a decent helping of lightening, and later on when we found a place to stay (by then my head felt like it had something unpleasant trying to escape from it...go figure) with an indoor pool. I swam around for a while, exhausting myself and working off pent up energy that was meant for the hike and frustration that had built up from being unable to use it.

We drove all the way from North Platte, Nebraska to Rantoul yesterday. I really wish there was some kind of cancellation button (or maybe a "Fuck This" button) you could press in those types of situations and just *poof!* be back here again without the hassel of the downhike and drive back. So now I'm sitting here after checking my hundreds of email messages in my pjs still and wondering what to do next (after the next blog entry).

At the very least, I got a lot of writing done...

The Kraken!

Buttered Waffles With Maple Syrup

2006-07-07T14:35:00.000-05:00

That's what I had for brunch today.

Actually they were just Eggos, but it sounds much more delicious describing them the other way. Eggos are so boring when they're just Eggos.

I've been meaning to post something for weeks now. I just haven't because (as usual) I'm lazy. Yeah, too lazy to get online, babble, and click a few buttons. Aren't I the pathetic one? It's not as though there isn't anything happening around here either. Sure, most of the time dad's simply watching TV, Ashley is playing video games, and mom is working, there have been diversions. If you haven't read The Critter Trap, it's up now and may amuse you to some extent. I'm trying to decide whether or not to bother doing a garage sale story because while it was just your basic garage sale, there were (naturally) elements of the weird surrounding it, extending two days after the sale itself. Items concerning the sale include tigers (not exciting as it sounds - they weren't live tigers mind you), kids, and one particular little girl that simply wouldn't go away. Perhaps if anyone jingles my chain and says, "I wanna read about it" I'll do it...otherwise it might not happen unless I get bored enough and decide anyone cares. After all, the sale was almost two weeks ago on June 24th.

Because I've been on an extensive Spring Cleaning (a.k.a. "We need to get this old shit outta here - seriously.") mode, I've been goofing around, trying to think of ways to ditch stuff we don't use/need and isn't worth keeping to sell or give away for free. People around here pick up anything if it's free by the way. So we had a huge box absolutely full of books that we didn't know what to do with. We only sold a minute fraction of what we had in stock during the garage sale, and since I knew mom probably wasn't motivated enough to find ways to rid herself of them, I had been pondering ideas on my own. Charity seemed the best option for the books, remaining games, and pethora of stuffed animals lurking about in the house. I'd managed to consolidate the karate gear and sports equipment into a large bag and a large box, and practically dragged dad down into the basement to give me the OK in trashing a ton of his Electrolux stuff. Electrolux, by the way, is the vacuum company dad used to work for. In the boxes were tons of plaques, awards, a trophy, yadda yadda yadda. He hates that company and so they were all pretty much useless. The only concern was whether or not the garbage men would take them away. They can be picky sometimes...which is weird because it's garbage. I mean, I can understand, you know, a couch or a large something-or-other, but a thrown out trophy? Come on. But I didn't need to worry too much because they took it all. Huzzah. Less crap to worry about/deal with.

Oh, the books. Right. Well I've recently gotten into looking over our ghetto little Rantoul newspaper and stumbled upon an article about the library needing books to sell and whatnot. I promptly took out a pen and circled it. Score. So on Monday I managed to needle mom into taking them over there (it was a two person job - I was the laborer and let me tell you, that was a big box and those books were freaking heavy - needed someone to open doors and things). Now all we have to do is get rid of all the crazy stuffed animals and old board games. While thumbing through one of mom's old magazines I found a tiny bit about disposing of old items for free without needing to really go anywhere - www.freecycle.org. Woot. So I went there and unless we find anything better, I'll see if I can't get mom into doing that with me. After all, I only own 1/3 of the stuffed animals in the house. Stacey's are not under my juristiction, the same with Ashley's, and I know she's eager to rid herself of some. Another idea, of course, is the infamous Ebay. But people like pictures and that's a bit of a problem seeing as we have no digital camera or a scanner. I guess we could just take pictures and then get them all on a CD, but I don't know how keen mom (or dad) would be on me clicking away. True, I could get a disposable camera and make a CD, but in the end most of this crap (more like 90% of it) isn't mine - I'm just really into helping get extra uneeded stuff out of the house. I'm not a fan of clutter.

Aside from junk, birds flying into my window (didn't mention that? Well, that's all there is to it - they see a tree in the reflection of the window and *bump!* to which my response is always "OMFG!" because I don't ever expect it), my dog going deaf (she so is), my chocolate withdrawl (I'm out of Nuggets), the looming house party on the 15th (Mexican themed), and my scheming to get more Ergo Proxy, there's the other thing. The Penn State thing.

"Penn State?" you ask. Yes, Penn State.

If we want to get technical, it really has nothing, or at least very little, to do with me. After all, I am 22, independent, and could simply strike out on my own. The Penn State thing is this: My dad is at U of I in the Special Education Dept. However, they don't have a specific program, and it just happens to be what dad wants to focus in on. Instead he's weaving about, getting this and that done, until one day one of his pals from graduate school during his Master's search contacted him and told him about how Penn State has the program he wants, how it rocks out, and other good things. From there things have basically snowballed and now he's in contact with some of the higher ups in that program. Now they wouldn't be bothering with a 54-year-old guy who has a family and would have to move etc. etc. if they weren't interested in him to a large degree. You'd think they'd be going after younger kids, you know? So it's an interesting little spectacle. And me? Would I go with? Well that's interesting too. I have to decide if I want to try out again for grad school, which I may, and dad mentioned that Penn State has a creative writing program. Intriguing, to be sure. Why would I bother? No offense to my fellow Illinois friends, but you're all aware on how much this state bores me. Don't get me wrong, it has its high points (all of you included), but skipping off to Pennsylvania, I must admit, does have its tug on me. I've moved so many times one would think I'm tired of it, and in some ways I am - I did fuss a lot to dad when he kept babbling about moving to Champaign...but then that is just 30 some miles down the road and a move I consider just stupid. I'd have to see where I'm going before I get too excited anyway. On the other hand I would be farther away from Stacey and that sucks nuts as it is. Decisions, decisions.

I should go biking...but I'm lazy.

I leave for the Rocky Mountains on July 20th. "Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam..."

Currently reading Wicked

(after my Angels & Demons book copped out on me by going from page 304 to page 337, subsequently leaving me out of the loop for 30 some pages)

P.S. If you've never had custard before, the frozen, ice-cream-like kind, do yourself a favor and go try some. It's fantastic.

Weird Stories

2006-06-23T01:00:00.000-05:00

Between the 6th and now, several things have happened. However, the whole deal about the mistaken identity of the cat, the trap, and something that Shawn, Kiera, and Jenni will all get a kick out of is too large of a story to go here and (once it concludes as it is still ongoing), it will be written and go up in The Profile. Yes, I'm sure many of you are now going "What?" I know. You'll just have to wait. Don't worry, you'll find out.

My computer was set up, you knew that, but about a day after mom and dad came back from the grocery store and I was presented with the tiny bit of metal and plastic I needed in order to give life to The Magic Box (yeah, that's what I called it when setting it up - I was in a hurry and just went with it. If you think it's lame, bite me). So yay for that. However, upon waking it up I was greeted to the same sound I received the last two times I started my computer up from scratch while still at school. Weed eater motor. Yeah - start up the comp and it sounds like a weed eater. Wtf? Well those were my thoughts, so two days after completion, it had to be unplugged again and taken in to the makers of it, along with dad's computer (the front USB port didn't work and never has) and my original speakers (not the white ones that in no way matched my computer). According to the boys, my speakers were fine (in which case I don't know why one of them just decided to stop working on me. Bastard), and I don't kow what the deal was with the comp, but it doesn't sound like it's starting up an engine and about to race out of my room on wheels anymore. It's an improvement.

So the electronics department of my room is finally in full swing.

Dad is back on the Atkins' Diet. Oh shoot me now. Before he actually wasn't like I thought he was, which meant no cookies and junk in the house still (hence the Nugget supplement), but things weren't ridiculously exclusive. How so? Dairy Queen Blizzards. I rest my case. But now he's on the diet, and in truth some things haven't changed that much, except now the Blizzards are out the window. *twitch* I had to get some more Nuggets today. I decided to go with dark chocolate. Better for you. I need to be careful of the wrappers though. My stomach was being kind of a bitch tonight and so I ate more than I really would have preferred to (I was seriously hungry and ate about 4 even though normally I only need 1 to shake the junkie craving). So there's a wrapper next to me and since the Internet is in no way linked to my computer I'm not in my room. Leaving it for dad to see will bring about bad, well, no - annoying things, I'ms ure. There's no cable in sight - Stacey suggested that when I have income pouring in we should get cable and I'd pay for it. I guess it's a good plan - after all, I'd be on that shit 24/7, and definitely on AIM more. I don't get on AIM much here because this stuff is slow, which means after an hour or so I want to get the hell out of here. Already my eyes are getting annoyed with the shitty light in here.

Blah blah blah.

Speaking of Stacey, her birthday was the 18th (huzzah!) and my plan, as was mentioned, was to go down that weekend and hang out with her that week. Bzzt! Wrong. The lovely Isuzu had an oil leak and didn't get fixed until late, which meant Chris's mom went on to new and different things since we'd cancelled out. However, there was a chance we were going to get back into it, but she'd already scheduled different stuff, so we were screwed and that means no visit to Stacey for me. And the bus options pretty much blow, as do the train options. I've checked before.

Writing goodies - see other blog.

Working out is going well, though I need to do some more arm workouts to tone up and some sit-ups if I want my nice tummy back. Something Sandra would like - the U of I stadium is now filled with U of I football players who happen to be practicing (many times with shirts off) while we backpack up and down the stairs. I've got 25lbs. in my pack (which is about 1/5 of my bodyweight), and the fun part is that this amazes both the coaches and the players. Occasionally I can see them staring up at one of us. Not sure why it's so awesome. I think it's the fact that we've got rather large looking packs. I guess to those who don't know much about hiking and all that jazz it looks pretty awesome. Ironically here I am, "God, they're still working out in this 90 degree weather and it's 12 o'clock? Screw that nonsense." The really weird thing is that now I'm out of college - so the guys who were so recently on my level if not older than me suddenly seem so much younger than me. Like I'm looking at some strange version of high school. Adding to that, just recently they painted some of the railings red. So now they're all red and white. ... Shouldn't they be orange and blue or something? Haha - it's my stadium now. My colors. Sha-zam.

A few final notes before I sign off I guess:

Jenni - I hear Kaleb is now out and about, so when did this happen? I must know...
Sandra - mom and I are watching all the Sex in the City DVDs. They make me think of you sometimes, hehe. By the way, you win the gold prize for calling - makes me feel special. ^_^
Derek - you made Superhero status in case you never heard. You've joined the ranks of Katie and Sandra. Why? Brian Regan (I had a spiderweb moment today) and Mitch Hedberg, that's why.
Shawn & Kiera - just wait until you see the newest story...

And I'm done.

MOOSEN!

Victory Will Be Mine!

2006-06-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

My room.

"Or as I like to call it, the Death Star. It is not yet operational."

Not quite.

The good news is this; with careful nudges and a new internet connection, the desk Stacey brought up is now in my room, computer all set up (albeit the printer), and my notebook sitting open, pencil on top, already with new stuff in it. Not much, but something. There are, however, a few problems.

The biggest issue actually isn't all that big because there exists a very simple solution to the problem. The surge protector is sitting right next to an outlet, ready to rock and roll. However, as we all know, surge protectors have three-prong plugs, and the outlet is old, lame, and thus has only two. And so my computer, though looking pretty on the desk, can't be turned on simply because I can't plug it in. I need a converter (or whatever they're really called) to enable me to finish the job, but we're out here, so I need to go find a new one. Not all bad because I need to get my hands on a nice desk lamp too. It's times like these that I miss Bloomington because everything you needed was right up the road, a bus ride/friend's car (haha) away, whereas here, if you can't get it at IGA or our lame-ass Wal-Mart, you have to drive 20-30 minutes to get to Champaign to get it. Oh sigh.

The other problem isn't really all that major, it's just a little frustrating. As many of you know, I don't have a super-awesome connection here. It's just dial-up. Old school, slow-as-a-freaking-sloth-on-a-bad-day dial-up. Okay, so it's really not that bad, but it doesn't exactly hold much of a candle to the zippiness we had at school. Our dial-up is about $13, which is (understandably) why my parents are reluctant to get rid of it. What with mom working at Walgreens now and dad still at U of I (excuse me while I throw up) grad school, money is a big tight (so they say: they tend to say that all the time and then just the other night we went out to eat, see a movie, and then get dessert afterwards. I'm not going to complain about that, but if money was so tight, shouldn't we not be doing that kind of thing?), so going cable/DSL for however much isn't all that appealing. Okay, I'll bite. So with a new mission (as dad always calls them), I went downstairs to his near-bachelor apartment style basement, hopped onto his laptop, and put the info for the internet connection on this computer on there, so now even the idea of a wireless dial-up network (which, as that doesn't exist, would lead to wireless internet which leads to something nice and fast) is out the window, as he can now get online downstairs (though it cuts off anyone getting online up here) there is no need for any network or internet change at all. Too bad for me, as I could have easily skipped onto the wireless network with my comp. But as much as that sucks, I can live without it. I have just enough patience for dial-up, and the only thing (for me) a faster connection is good for is video, audio, and downloading.

*3 days, a few workouts, several cookies, and a partridge in a pear tree later...*

I began this blog on Sunday. I was interrupted by a brief hiking trip to Allerton Park and never got back to finishing this until, um, now, because I'm lazy and forgetful.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the not yet operational Death Star room.

Wal-Mart didn't have what I needed. Go figure. There are still several things I need to do, like hang up my shadow boxes of seashells (instead of having them laying all over - they're pretty cute, which I had a digital camera to show you guys), and sell a bunch of junk to get it out of my way so I can put other objects elsewhere. About the desk lamp, well that was taken care of too. I'm the hand-me-down receiver of just about anything. During my life I've gotten things from Stacey, mom, even Ashley (who is my younger sister - hand me ups?), and dad. Different people mean different categories of stuff. And I'm not just talking clothes here. I'm talking CDs, jewelry, hiking/camping equipment, furniture, blah blah blah. I'm selling some of Stacey's stuff at the garage sale because it's too good to throw away, she doesn't want it, and neither do I. Sha-zam. Oh, right, I digress; the desk lamp. I used to have one, it was a bad purchase because it was virtually useless after freshman year when the bunkbeds went out the window. So I gave it to Stacey. Dad has a desk lamp downstairs. It's kind of small, but I think it might work since I mentioned "I need a desk lamp" and he offered it up, claiming he didn't use it a lot anyway. Good times (if it works).

Little lights on the horizon include a trip to Target since they have a CD of piano music I've been hunting for for a long time now, finding a converter for my computer/surge protector plug, and hopefully a trip to Stacey's for about a week. Dad happens to be planning a 3 day camping/climbing (haha, maybe) trip because the parents of a kid named Chris, a kid he used to work with who has RAD (I'll explain in a second), want to go camping with him again like last year - only this time I'm getting dragged along. But since it's southern Illinois we camp at, that means I'm basically next door to Stacey and can be dumped off at the end of the trip to leech off her for a while (muwahahaha).

Now you all know I don't mind camping. However this time of year things are getting hot, the rain still randomly shows up, and Illinois sucks when it comes to the woods because of the happy abundance of ticks, flies, and mosquitoes. Oh joy. Bug spray my ass up. I hate ticks - they're Satan's work, I swear. Aside from the impending threat of Lyme, West Nile, and other bug-carrier diseases, RAD means Reactive Attachment Disorder. You can look it up for the details, but in short, this kid is the type that, if not taught right to control his behavior and whatnot, will be the next serial killer on the evening news. Goody, goody. According to dad, Chris is okay with other people (and I guess he's getting better), so it's not like I have to worry about him coming after me or anything.

How awesome is that? But it's really not all bad like it may sound, hanging out here at home. I mean, if I really wanted I could just shut myself up in my room and I doubt I'd get bothered.

I think I'm going to write today, even though I reeeelly wish my computer were up and running because I'm starting to go through the beginnings of withdrawl from my music. Radio stations here totally blow, and I only have a handful of CDs, most of which I've listened to about a gazillion times as it is.

"What the hell is an aluminum falcon??"

Chocolate Junkie

2006-05-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

I meant to write this blog a few days ago, but knowing me, I put it off for various reasons, so now all the fun, pithy comments I wanted to write have abandoned me saying, "Fine! Don't write us! We're going for a drink."

Oops.

Ah well. So what's going on in the Life O' Me as of late?

Well, I've finished moving into Stacey's room and putting everything else that needed to be moved into Ashley's room, like her computer, the Playstation, and a few other things. Actually, wait, no, that's a lie. Not the part about Ashley's room, but the part about me being finished moving into Stacey's room. I'm 98% finished with that. What's missing? When Stacey came up to retrieve so many goodies as mentioned in the last blog, she also dropped off a small square desk space for me to use as a computer/writing desk, which got me all excited because:

1.) I used to try writing in the dining room but it was always A.) freezing in there and now B.) the TV has been moved to the living room, which is essentially in the same huge room.

2.) I have tried writing at mom's small table in the kitchen, but A.) it's covered in all kinds of stuff and B.) same as A and B from above - it's not the same room, but there are no doors to block out TV sound.

3.) I have used the computer room several times but A.) everyone comes in here to use the two computers that now occupy the counter, B.) it too is covered in all sorts of papers and crap that I don't know what to do with because it's not mine and dad is virtually no help in organizing it, and C.) the lighting in here sucks big time.

So I was happy to have a spot where I could close my door, have a nice little desk lamp giving off good light, and be able to have my own little space for good times, writing and computering. However, Stacey and Nick put it together downstairs and I guess they put it by all of dad's stuff because now he's taken it for himself (as he is wont to do so very, very often with things). I told Stacey about it (I'm not mad about it because hey, at least I got Stacey's room) and she said it was all wobbly anyway (didn't seem like that to me when I picked it up and later put their huge laser printer on it). Oh well.

Moving on, there is no shelf space for anything in her room. My dresser drawer top is occupied with my TV, the N64, and the Sega. That's my fault because it's not necessary for those to be up there taking up all that space, but honestly, since I can't get cable on that TV in there, there's really nothing left for me to use it for but to play video games. I'd rather do that than relinquish it to dad too. He wanted to swipe it and use it to watch TV downstairs while he worked out. Seriously, he's making some kind of little apartment downstairs. He took Stacey's bedframe (as she just took mattresses), put it downstairs, got new mattresses, and now takes refuge down there when mom's snoring too much. People in this house are weird sometimes.

But I need to stop ranting about dad and his weirdness. My plan is to go to K's Merchandise or Staples and get myself a nice little computer desk and a little lamp so I can have my cozy writing place and I can shut my door and put the roadtrip Holiday Inn "Do Not Disturb" sign on my doorknob. Sha-zam. Meanwhile, my little sister graduates from high school tomorrow so I get to wear my new shoes again (joy) and look cute - no doubt bumping into teachers I know and possibly former classmates, but that's fine. I've already started working out for the upcoming trip to Colorado (which I've orchestrated this time so it won't kill us), running up and down stadium stairs and going jogging on days I don't do that. I should start doing sit-ups too while I'm at it. I still need to chop off my hair....

*bleh*

I guess that's it. Very unexciting. Unlike Stacey, who happens to be in Orlando, Florida swimming with dolphins and manta rays and feeding exotic birds...I hate you. She's there for her graduate stuff, like they sent her to California and almost sent her to freaking Antarctica. Maybe I'll get to visit her in June, and then maybe I'll head to Arkansas to visit my grandparents, though I don't know how I'd get down there.

Oh, and we think the felon from across the street moved. If so, awesome.

One last thing before I actually go - I was hoping to finagle some way of getting to Megan and Derek's wedding, but my hopes have now been dashed since they're getting married in the VIRGIN ISLANDS! Wackos. Someone is going to have to inform me just how the heck that came about.

And about the title, I almost forgot about that. See, since dad is on the Atkin's Diet (aka meat and veggies only; carbs = Satan), as a chocoholic (actually I think if I were a true chocoholic I would have cracked and bought some long ago) I spazzed and had to buy a bag of Hershey's Nuggets the other day. Milk chocolate. I only eat about one or two a day after meals. They're just enough to take care of my chocolate craving. And of course, they're hidden behind a ton of books in my room like the little hoarder I am.

Nyahahahaha!!

Num num num num!

Muse Bait

Updatezors

Free Books

HA.

Well then.

Dear Vancouver

Things I'm Looking Forward To

Stuff I Do When I Get Bored

My Blog

Well...

Happy Holidays!

Yeah, well, shut up.

Import~Export

October 2

Dedicated to Freckles

Righto

New and Improved!

Books Galore

Bloggy's Movin!

Changes Have Been Made (Obviously)

Books Galore

Quotes

Done and Done

NEWSFLASH

Oink oink.

Letters, Novels, and Probable Nonsense

A Crush Ramble

¬_¬'

Psh

Been a while

OMFG GET DOWN! *incoming rant*

"FUCKIN' BRIAN'S COMING."

Raowr.

Well, here we are!

"Should"

I lied

Brief

Really Random

...Really?

I should paint my nails...

Random Story

Ohyeah

If You're Not Wearing Green, I E-Pinch You

XD

After Returning

Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I don't know...

Pennsylvania Drivers are Fucktards

Possibly Sad, But Probably True

YES!

Awww, They're So Cute!

I just have to say it...

Exceedingly Bored

A Ring, Some Notes, and Pyrotechnics

Will You, Won't You

Just so you know:

"It's so hot! Milk was a bad choice!"

He's just...sitting there

Hear the shutter...screw up

"The time has come!" the Walrus said,

After Dying

WARGH!

Dragging On

Snow? Anyone?

Party on Nicole’s Dime

The Rewind

Please Stand By

I Have Been Diagnosed With CCC - Which Means I Am CI

Must...Resist...Halloween...Candy...!

Irregularties & Weird Stuff

Where I've Been

How Does Nicole Stay Sane?

Queen Bitch of the Universe Is Back In Her Cage

*Beware!* This Is A Hardcore Vent/Rant/Bitch Session

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Day Of A Thousand Phone Calls

Bloggy

5-yr-olds, Floods, and Pancakes

The Madcap Recap

OMFG GET DOWN! incoming rant

Beware! This Is A Hardcore Vent/Rant/Bitch Session